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Friday, September 5, 2014

Just Cause, by Kathy Fey

Written for the wedding of Queen Meg and Sir Callin


A very sleepy princess one Rrathchllwyn evening late

Found her tentmate in a far too great inebriated state

So she set out for to find a place where she might take her rest

At the Folkestone camp she found the fateful answer to her quest


Little did she know that she would meet a man that night

Who in a future ceremony would proclaim to all in sight

That no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell

And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –


“Hello, gentlemen,” she said, but they seemed not to hear

So she hollered “Guys!” and that address fell well on every ear

“Perchance have you a place where I may rest my weary head?”



Young Callinostros said, “My lady, I shall share my bed.”


But he placed a sword between them for the proper separateness

Ironic that someday they would both publicly profess

That no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell

And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –


Still did they lie, staring upward from their cots

While Folkestone raised a ruckus outside drinking flaming shots

They were toasting, they were boasting as around the fire they sat

Saying “Callin bagged a princess! You can’t get luckier than that!”


Little did they know someday their bragging would come true

But that part of the story is not meant for me or you

And no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell

And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –


Well Meg awoke next morning to an empty tent

So she did her royal toilette then out the door she went

She found Callin in the campsite, he’d been up now for a while

“My lady did you sleep well?” he asked her with a smile


She answered with a kiss and a lasting embrace

She said, “Thank you, yes I did,” and then she dropped him on his face


And the years rolled by. Now, for every person there is a task that they just can’t

quite seem to accomplish no matter how hard they try, and over the years it became clear

that Callin and Meg are nuptually challenged.

And someone was always crashing the party...


See some Chimeron brides are “challenged” by the foes of that great house

For the demon lords or fey come steal them right before the vows

This has happened to Her Majesty several times at least

She gets whisked away by some unseemly supernatural beast


Who locks her in some scary plane where mortals fear to roam

It’s a wonder that poor Meg can ever spend a night at home

And no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell

And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –


Bells were a-tolling on their happy wedding day

When Sir Callin’s apparent in-laws came and got carried away

And the Folkestone groom had problems too when he was split in twain

For a while there were two Callins – one had the looks, one had the brain


But we got him back together through some heavy sacrifice

And fortunate for Meg, it worked, now he’s both cute and nice

And no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell

And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to –


Well we know the story, now the one thing left to do

Is to make sure that this ceremony finally goes through

We’ve got bodyguards and faerie stones and wards of detection

We’ve got demon bane and magic swords and circles of protection


Whom love has brought together may no one separate

And whoever tries to interrupt will meet a gruesome fate

For no sword will come between them, nor evil magic spell

And all those with just cause why they should not wed can go to hell