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Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Why I Feastocrat

To Feastocrat or not to Feastocrat? 

(Hint: The answer is to Feastocrat)


I sometimes hear the question posed to me: "Why do you bother to Feastocrat anyway?" This question is usually asked in the middle of yet another late night prep spree, when I'm up to my elbows in honey butter and trying to see through the flour caked on my laptop screen to read one of the fifty or so spreadsheets that will tell me what other dishes I need to have prepared within next hour, lest I fall irreparably behind and ruin the entire operation. And if you were wondering, yes, those evenings do happen to be one run-on sentence after another. It's a question that I've always just shrugged off by informing my naysayer that "it's worth it," and then I turn back to making enough tarts or cookies or chicken to feed a small legion. 

Unfortunately, "it's worth it" is a fairly incomplete answer for an article, so I've come up with some thoughts on what exactly makes this job a worthwhile use of my time, money, and brain power. And perhaps, if you're asking yourself whether you should start the illustrious career of feast throwing, this will help you find your answer.

So why do I Feastocrat?

1. First and foremost, I love to make people happy. There's little in life that pleases me more than seeing a large hall of people laughing, eating, playing, and spending time with each other and knowing that I helped cause it. Feasting culture in the Realms is one of the best examples of this type of atmosphere that I've ever seen. And I must say, few things  fill me with more pride and accomplishment than to have people beg you for recipes, ask for seconds (or thirds) of their favorite dish, or talk about your feast months after the leftovers are all gone. 


2. The learning possibilities are endless. Am I the greatest cook in the world? No, far from it. Sometimes I burn soup and I never actually learned how to cook most seafood, but I can definitely say that my culinary skills have improved since I've started working in kitchens and throwing my own feasts. I've learned how to cook on large scales. I know much more about doneness in meats and new, unique flavor combinations. And boy can I salvage a dish. Ingredient substitutions, alternative cooking methods, ways to stretch out 25 people's worth of food to 50 or more - all of these are tips you'll start to learn as you spend more time in the kitchens of the Realms. 

And it doesn't end in the kitchen. When you run a feast, you run a catering service. You have to negotiate and work within a budget (this can sometimes be the hardest part). Spreadsheets will probably become your best friend. You have to learn to work with the constraints of your kitchen and feast hall, your schedule vs. the EH's requirements, car space, fridge space, and the never-ending quest for enough servants. All of these skills become necessary for throwing any feasting event, no matter the size. Working in and running a kitchen is an amazing way to learn more about time and money management, as well as working with less than ideal situations.


3. It's exhilarating. Kitchens are busy and bustling and hot. There is always a flurry of movement and something to do. The weeks leading up to a feast are full of shopping trips and prep nights. A well run kitchen is smooth, but never boring. It's stressful for sure, but there is something about the adrenaline and energy that gives you a rush. It's a fast-paced environment for a few hours, and then it's over and you can rest. Perhaps that doesn't sound attractive to you, but it's something that I thrive on. 


I could wax philosophical about Feastocratting for a good long while, but this is supposed to be a concise summary, so I'll leave you all with this: throwing a feast can be a fair amount of effort, but you will get out what you put into it. If you're unsure about running your kitchen, begin by serving and cooking for someone else. The best way to learn is to get involved.

Happy cooking!