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Thursday, March 12, 2015

Dear Tom, part two "It could have gone worse"

Dear Tom

Well that could have gone better.  Actually correction, it could have gone worse, but it would have had to try awfully hard. It started relatively cheerfully, a blacksmith agreed to help us, we got free potions, and we reached the mine with no trouble.

Unfortunately the mine is teeming with undead, and I think demons? I don’t know what they are and I got rebuffed for asking. To explain what a undead is, have you ever seen a sandwich come alive and try to kill you? No? Well then you never fought a undead. It’s a giant pile of human meat with a attitude it logically is incapable of having. Magic sure is fascinating.

Fortunately for me, the blacksmith assisted me in learning magic of my own, a way to call upon the appetite of the soul and alter the dining table of their lives.
But currently all I can do is make people less sick, which are still pretty useful, but then we found a giant fountain… more on that later.

The first time I was really concerned was when I died. It didn't really take that long and then I got better. Not sure how, wasn’t living for that, but it happened all the same. It seemed to involve some sapling one of the mages was holding, and it was disconcerting to see people so casually overcome death.

Stranger still was the Blessing of Gaia, which appeared midway through the dungeon, it was a fully set out meal, complete with beverages. I understand the reach of the gods to be near limitless, but I question their use of it. However I seemed the only person with such concerns so I allowed the issue to slide.

Upon eating the food of the gods the quest continued, and this is where things turned grim.
I wandered to far from the group, and a large behemoth of undead sinew ambushed me, it was one of those creatures who couldn't stay dead, assisting it was a smaller yet stronger undead, I appeared to have interrupted the escape of one of the Necromancer’s greatest thrall.

I died obviously, but is weird is I can remember a little of what happened. I was in a black void and yet a being approached me, some mortal dressed in the robes of a king but a head of a chicken replacing anything human.

The creature did not speak but I… heard things. Horrible things.

Then I was resurrected, and told a piece of my soul was absent. Fortunately this was patched up, again I do not understand magic, and it kind of freaks me out a little.

Anyway eventually we found a smoking fountain of Gaia herself, through throwing stuff in it we managed to purify it. So everyone got to have fun healing themselves, though when I tried I blacked out and woke up having learned I died again, allegedly I exploded into monsters. Kind of like soul foie gras.

That sounds really good actually; I should find this necromancer’s spell book.

Oh that was the third weird thing. We died. Horribly. It was really weird, the necromancer got slashed so many times that even if he could live through that he shouldn't have remained attached to his legs, yet he was nigh immortal. Maybe we were supposed to throw him into the spring. That would have made sense. Anyway that was the… 16th time I died then. What was weird is how we all revived, I was sure that with us all dead we would just rot there, I assume Gaia helped a third time.

Anyway, serial child murderer loose or not, we technically got the cure to the sick kids and we came back, but it turned out we didn't have enough. This really begged the question why we didn't run back to the well but no one wanted to and I didn't want to get eaten by a wolf. I suppose selfishness has it’s limits, so we simply tried to use as much magic as we can to infuse the little water we have left, which we managed because one of the heroes was blessed by, you guessed it, Gaia.

What a gal that Gaia, really the kind of goddess you really can share a drink with. A magical drink that saves soulless kids but still.

Also we didn't get paid, which I felt was a little ungrateful for someone who just saved all your children no thanks to any of you, (except that blacksmith, I should have given him my address and been pen pals or something). In fact one of them was downright incensed when it seemed like we didn’t have enough healing water, like how dare you don’t be perfect. I guess people really expect a lot of heroes.

Either way I have a feast to go through, I am a Fryar after all.