Why I Fight – My Advice to Female Fighters
My Realms career began at UConn fight practice in fall 2006. I arrived at college already having located the Society for the Medieval Arts and Combat on the
When I learned more about the Realms, I faced the same decision we have all made at one point: fighter or caster? For me, the choice was easy. I liked the idea that I could use any weapon I wanted, and that I could have two points of armor. To be honest, I was also intimidated by the idea of learning spells. I didn't believe (and still don't believe to this day) that I could remember how many Raises I had left, or what spells I had in which slot.
Ever since I first made that decision, I have remained a
fighter. I love fighting, but I'll admit that I wasn't very serious about it in
the beginning. I fought at practices and the sporadic events that I attended. I
only signed up for single short and hand and a half tournaments. I had no idea
how to call my armor.
Then something changed. I started practicing more, and
harder, with the goal of improving and learning new styles. I became more
competitive at events and tournaments. At first I just wanted to win, but this
feeling evolved into the desire to promote not only myself, but women in
general, in the realm of combat. Female fighters seemed to be a minority, and I
wanted to change that.
The struggle of female fighters is two-fold; like any
fighter, you need to work hard to be good at what you do, but you also need to
work hard to be taken seriously as a fighter. A man who chooses to be a fighter
is more readily accepted into the fighter culture than a woman is. I think the
fact that women are not expected to be fighters has been a big part of what has
motivated me to keep fighting.
I have attempted to compile some advice for any woman who
is, or is thinking of, following the female fighter path. What I have
encountered may not hold true for everyone, but I have applied my experiences
to a few points that I hope will resonate with the other women out there. I'm
not perfect; I'll be the first to admit it. There is a lot of advice here that
I myself need to follow more diligently. But I will be happy if at least one
woman can take something away from what I've written here.
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Practice.
The only way to get better at fighting is to practice.
Improving your combat skills requires time and effort. You will not magically
become an expert fighter over night. The top tier fighters you see at events
and practices became that good because they have spent countless hours honing
their crafts. There are several practices around New England :
WPI on Monday nights, Nottingham on Tuesday nights,
UConn on Wednesday nights. These are all excellent opportunities to work on a
variety of drills and work with a diverse group of fighters. If you can't make
it to any of the major practices, grab a friend and spar in your yard or
driveway. Seek out chances to practice at events, whether it's sparring off to
the side at a tournament event, or lining up against an NPC on a quest. NPCing
also provides a great opportunity to practice.
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Step outside your comfort zone.
Being a good fighter means being a well-rounded
fighter. The key is to be open to
learning new styles (even if you think there's no way you can overcome the
awkwardness of fighting florentine). I spent almost three years fighting with a
hand and a half. I became comfortable, and was afraid to try something new and
potentially fail at it. I finally forced myself to put the effort into learning
to fight sword and marne. Fighting with a combination taught me a host of new
skills, encouraged me to be a more offensive fighter, and even helped improve
my hand and a half style. Being competent with multiple styles can only benefit
you. A situation might arise on a line, or in a castle, where the team needs
another fighter to pick up a pike, or join the shield wall. That ability to
adapt successfully to changing combat scenarios and switch weapon styles to
suit the situation gives you a huge advantage and makes you an asset to any
team.
Even the best fighters have aspects of their craft they need
to improve. You should never feel bad or embarrassed if you lack skills in a
certain area. Be aware of what you need to improve, and work on it. When it
comes to fighting, there is always something new you can learn.
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Participate in tournaments.
Think of tournaments as just another opportunity to
practice. Sign up for every tournament you are eligible for. Not confident in
your sword and shield fighting? Me neither. Sign up anyway and use the
opportunity to learn something new. I also understand how difficult it can be
to overcome that fear of fighting in front of a crowd of people. Do your best
to forget the spectators. The only people who matter are yourself and your opponent.
Everything else is just a distraction.
There is also a lack of female participation in many combat
tournaments. An important step toward being taken more seriously is to increase
the female presence on the tourney field. This goes along with stepping outside
of your comfort zone. Even if you don't advance through the first round of a
tournament, just the fact that you put yourself out there should boost your
confidence. Other women will see you and feel encouraged to sign up for more
tournaments as well.
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Men will underestimate you. Use that to your
advantage.
While this may not be a universal truth, it is something
that you will face in one form or another during the course of your fighting
career. Men will use their brute force to try and overpower you. Learn to adapt
your fighting style to your strengths. You may not have the same arm strength
as a male fighter or be able to fight the same way, but you can learn to work
with your own body to create a fighting style that works with your natural strengths.
If you step into the
tourney ring against a male competitor, he might be thinking to himself that he
has an easy win. Let that motivate you. Defeating an opponent who
underestimated you is deeply satisfying. Even if you lose the fight, you can show
that you aren't afraid to compete. If you're at practice, make it a point to
line up against that guy who seems to keep beating you. Learn his style, and
learn what you can do to beat him.
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Don't be intimidated.
Easier said than done, right? We've all been in that
situation. You get called for a tournament. So does Rohde, or Jaha, or Shandar,
or any one of those people that causes that gut-dropping feeling of dread. You
feel like the pressure is on; everyone is watching and you know you're
going to lose. Never go into a fight with that defeated mindset. Even if you
are facing a more skilled opponent, that negative attitude will defeat you
before you even take a swing.
In general, female fighters are not as naturally aggressive
as male fighters. Forcing yourself to be aggressive is possibly one of the most
difficult aspects of fighting you will have to learn. Aggression is certainly
one of my main obstacles. It takes a lot of practice and pushing yourself to
move your feet, to commit to closing on your opponent, to learn to double-tap.
If you are woman who is naturally aggressive, learn to focus that energy into
controlled and effective combat.
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Ask for help.
If you see someone at a fight practice or at an event and
think to yourself “you know, I would really love to learn a few tips from that
person,” don't be afraid to approach them and ask if they could take some time
to practice with you. Most fighters in the game would be happy to help you.
Female fighters especially will open to sharing their knowledge with you.
Although approaching someone can be scary, I promise you won't regret the
decision. Working with different people is extremely valuable. You will gain
different perspectives and learn a variety of techniques that you can take and
apply to your own fighting style. You will also find that you have an easier
time training with some people rather than others, whether it's their teaching
style that works for you, or your styles mesh in an effective way. Even just
discussing combat with other fighters can open you up to new ideas or ways of
approaching fighting that you may not have thought of.
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Don't give up.
There will be times where you will get discouraged. Every
fighter has moments of self-doubt, and questions if all the hard work is really
worth it. Understand that becoming a good fighter is an arduous process that
requires time, dedication, and a genuine will to learn. If you truly want to
improve and want to compete at the level with the best fighters in the game,
then you need to put a lot of energy into
the process. In those moments where you feel ready to give up, remember
that every amazing fighter had to start from scratch. If you are struggling to
decide if you really want to continue down the fighter path, think that your
hard work and presence on the battlefield could be an inspiration to another
woman out there.
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Remember: the goal isn't to be a good female
fighter; the goal is to be a good fighter.
Being a good female fighter is only half the battle. If you
only compete against other women, you can't truly integrate yourself into the
Realms fighter culture. There is no doubt that I have experienced fierce
competition within the One-Woman Tournament, and I am proud to compete against
my fellow female fighters. But I know that if I want to be one of the best, I
need to compete against the best, and that includes men. Putting yourself up
against male competitors can be intimidating, certainly, but the more you do
it, and the more you practice, the more confident you will become that you can
compete against anyone.