I am exceedingly lucky to not only have had a long and occasionally distinguished career in the Realms as a Knight, I have also seen my proteges go on to take their own squires. This past Fall I had the honor of being able to sit down and chat and then to spar with my first great-grand-squire, Kyro.
Rhiassans tend to keep themselves busy, always having someone to help out or something to do, often in service of the event staff. Kyro is no exception but he made time to sit down and let me get a chance to get to know him.
In our conversation I told him many of the things I have told my squires, grand-squires and now great-grand-squires over the years. I also ask a lot of questions. Here are a few of them, along with some of my thoughts on these matters.
How do you become a knight?
That is a question that has many answers, from “getting knighted by a knight” to more esoteric approaches like “living with honor, valor and chivalry” and stuff like that.
After a bit of brainstorming I usually fall back to a related question…
How do you become a squire?
That might seem like an easy one too, but I like to simplify things.
My answer is easy - you act like one.
If you want to squire to somebody, there are many ways to go about it but one of the simplest is just to act like their squire. Chances are very good they will pick up on what you are doing and will officially take you as their squire sooner or later. You might also figure out that you don’t really want to squire to them before they “pop the question”, and you will have dodged a bullet. Either way, it is not a substitute for asking them to take you as a squire, but it is a path to becoming a squire that is so obvious it is almost startling.
So how do you become a knight?
You become a knight by acting like a knight.
What I am saying is that when you are a squire I do not think you should act like a squire. I think you should act like a knight. If you are able to do that and your vision for what a knight is and how he/she should act is in line with your chosen knighthood’s vision, your path will likely lead to you being brought into their order. It could take years but sometimes patience is one of the things that is being tested.
Of course, you do not even have to be a squire. The KoEF is an order you cannot squire into and if you act like a KoEF for long enough it isn’t unreasonable to think that someday you will be brought into the order. I know I make that sound awfully simple, but I think there is truth to it.
It is also true that good people get overlooked, so the next question is an easy one to figure out…
If you’re never going to get knighted, what’s the point of continuing to act like a knight?
If you understand the answer to that question already, you are likely on the path to knighthood in one way or another.
If you think there is simply no point if you don’t think you’ll get the “prize” at the end of the process, maybe the path of chivalry isn’t for you.
So am I saying that understanding knighthood is a special secret thing that you either “get” or “don’t get”?
Yes. Yes I am.
I’m a proud, elitist old veteran Knight of the Realms and Knight of the Eternal Flame who is suggesting that not everybody who longs to someday wear a white belt really understand what that belt or even knighthood is all about.
I also believe that you can be a knight without ever having been knighted because to me, knighthood is not something somebody can give you. It is something you are, regardless of whether others have seen it in you yet. That said - I absolutely do not advocate calling yourself a knight in-game unless you have gone through proper channels.
I have tried several times to start a paragraph in this very essay in which I explain what knighthood really is all about, but any attempt would not truly do it justice. All I can do is tell you how it feels to me.
To be a Knight of the Realms, when you are active, is to put the weight of the entire community on your shoulders and to carry that weight as if nobody else were helping. They are, and you aren’t alone, but you stand so tall and so strong that if you are there and you are in your prime it feels like everything else could collapse and you would keep it all going through your sheer force of will, the energy of your personality and the incredible amount of effort you are willing to commit to working for the community.
It goes without saying that the above is an overstatement. It is dramatic. It is inaccurate. I may even be insulting to the hundreds of people in the community who do so much to make our shared dream a reality.
All that said, it is still how I feel about being a Knight of the Realms.
I am no longer in my “prime” but at one time I devoted my entire self to the Realms. I’m older now and am in a phase of my life where I struggle to still be relevant to the community I long called home. I’ll neither recount my accomplishments nor defend my current level of activity but I will tell you that the feeling that I “should be doing more” is one I will always have for as long as I am active in the Realms. It is part of what being a Knight of the Realms means to me.
Every knight and every order is different and that is exactly why it will always boil down to the question of whether or not you “get it”. That answer will be different for every person and for every knighthood they are interested in, but I will close out my thoughts by saying that I find it incredibly inspiring to see how many people have shared their thoughts and experiences with the rest of the community in this series of articles on Knighthood.
I might even venture to say that with each passing year, more and more of you “get it” and that is a wonderful thing.