In thinking about the deceptively simple sounding questions of how I select who to work with a squire and how I establish those relationships, I eventually found that the first part boiled down to three basic questions:
Why me?
Having “Why me?” first may seem egocentric, but it’s pretty much the opposite. There are many knights across the Realms who would be excellent mentors and certainly those who would be much better resource to teach people about particular aspects of the game. So at some point the question needs to be asked and answered satisfactorily as to why this potential squire is interested in squiring to me specifically or to the Knights of Eagle’s Rook as an order. Also included in this question is what I, or one of my knights, will bring to that relationship. I firmly believe that all of us have something we can learn from just about everyone else, but it is important to be pragmatic and ask without bias what can I realistically provide to that individual as a knight and mentor.
Why them?
“Why them?” is often about what an individual has to learn and whether they’re ready to learn it. This is harder because it’s not always clear to either them or us. If they’re just looking for a title, they’re missing the point and are not a good fit. If they’re honestly looking to improve themselves and make the Realms and the real world a better place than they found it, that’s a solid start. But beyond someone’s intentions are their actions - Are they serious about this or is this just a passing interest because their friend became a squire? Are they reliable and willing to do the work asked of them? The Knights of Eagle’s Rook is an IC and OOC order, so they have to be willing to be an actual “good guy” IC and not just one who gives lip service to it, which is not easy in our IC world. I don’t expect squires to be perfect - I’m certainly not and wouldn’t have anything to teach someone who was. But someone needs to be willing to commit, willing to make mistakes and take constructive criticism, and eager to learn.
Why now?
“Why now?” is partially about the person’s motivation, partially about how new they are to the game, but mostly about where they are in life. Recognizing that you have something to learn and being able to find someone who can teach it to you takes a certain level of maturity and self-awareness. Being willing to commit to an endeavor that will take years even more so. But a lot of the answer to “Why now?” is whether someone recognizes that while getting a belt is rewarding, it’s really not about the belt or the title. Choosing to walk the path of a knight is a first step in a long-term process, and not everyone is ready for that.
How I establish a relationship with a squire
As for the second part of the original question, the foundation for that begins in getting answers to the questions above. Before someone even gets to be a squire to the KoER, there are pre-squirely tasks they have to complete. Many of those involve explaining what it is knighthood means to them, what they think they’ll get from the relationship, and why they want to squire to me or the KoER. There are other much more subtle aspects that are evaluated such as whether they can follow directions and if they will follow orders without requiring a conversation.
Questing with someone helps answer some of these questions. Hanging out with someone out of character when possible helps me learn a great deal about them. How they respond to the presquirely tasks speaks volumes - they’re doing work for the chance to do more work. It takes a lot of character to take on extra responsibility when there is no inherent benefit for doing so.
For my part of establishing the relationship, I try and be available to help and advise them as much as possible. If they’re willing to make the pledge to follow the path, I will also make the promise to walk with them and provide guidance wherever I can. Much of that extends beyond the Realms to the real world. Becoming a squire is not just about becoming a better fighter or spellcaster or craftsman, but becoming a better person.