When I was asked to write this article about my squiring process I thought to myself “Self, you may not have enough to talk about on this matter”. You see, I have only ever squired one person and they are still on their journey to knighthood.
I in fact reached the title of Knight in a non-conventional way. When I first donned the title of Sir it was after years of squiring to Sir PJ and the knights of the Blue Rose. However, it was not with that order. My first Knighthood in fact was a Knighthood I created alongside with the multiple Knighted player of Eddie Reed (Sir Quayloth) and a 10+ year Veteran Mage, Emilio Jimenez (Sir Naj), to add a Magical aspect . It was after I took a step back from the Blue Rose to find myself as a Knight that I eventually got recognized by my old order and Honored with the my second Knighting by my peers who helped mold me over the course of my squireship.
One of the things that the Blue Rose recognized me for, was my work with a very special guy, Jacob Ruggerio, Grebinar. They were, dare I say, impressed that I continued on my path and my work as a mentor, despite not finishing the goals for them. To the outside world I was a new knight working with a new guy and helping him make leaps and strides in both his fighting but also his overall development as a player.
Here’s the secret to that success and the secret to how I mentor, because at my core I may not be a traditional knight but I am an excellent coach.
The secret was, it was all Jacob!!!
He was motivated, dedicated, willing to make mistakes, fun to teach and all in all the best kid to mentor and get my feet wet with. After 4 years of coaching various High School sports I had an idea of how to approach people and guide them to their goals, I had however NO IDEA how to translate that into realms related goals.
So I looked to what I was shown by various knights from various orders. Henry Giasson showed me to open my home, and to make myself available beyond the game, Tom Johnson and Jarrod Marshal showed me to give back to them game and to make sure I NPC every third event I attend, growing up a peer alongside Ben Grant, Josh Learned and Christopher Marques I learned the value of fight practices and training, Dave Hayden showed me to push my personal boundaries beyond that of fighting and to take on a roll that is challenging and to get more from the game than just foam bats, and finally Jason Rosa who is still teaching me the importance of listening , patience and nurturing young talent.
So the formula was there, over 30 collective years of knowledge taught to me over the course of a decade now ready to be unleashed. But who to pick, how did I pick Grebinar?
I remember Jacob starting with another friend of mine Jacob Greenough, who had a similar fighting style, look and attitude to mine. Naturally I started working with him and his friends. After driving 3 hours from NH to the middle of nowhere MA a few times for weapon making and fight practices Jacob started to stand out as a kid hungry to learn (sometimes just as a hungry kid). He was consistently showing up, he always had questions, and he immediately tried to pick up the tricks he was shown. Jacob was not afraid to fall on his face, but he was always quick to dust himself off and try again.
I took him under my wing while I was still a squire, showing him the things I was being taught as they came up. Every event I threw he was at my side helping and learning. When I decided to make neoprene armor he was there opening links learning how to craft. When he needed new weapons he didn't ask me to make them but rather asked to be taught HOW to make them.
So when I finally dawned the title of Knight, he was a natural fit to come to my side as an official squire. He had already started down the path, now it was just time to make it official.
So that is my tale of my first squire and why it was him, a marriage of happenstance that worked just as well as Peanut Butter and Jelly. I couldn't be prouder of the things he has learned and the things he has taught me as a teacher.
Jacob continues to strive for his goals and continues to set new ones along the way. I am confident that he will one day make an excellent knight, and whoever he decides to mentor will be better off for having spent time with the one and only Grebinar.
For those still wanting more here is a short list of things I look for in a mentee.
1. They must be willing to learn. I believe this above all else. No matter how good you get at X there is always Y to learn. Constant self-improvement; I believe we should all strive for this. Teaching can be hard, so you need to guide them to answers. Not show or give them. Push them to their limits without over pushing them, train them in a way they can learn without discouraging them. It is a fine line you will find over the course of this process.
2. They need to have personal goals that they want to meet. I won’t squire someone just for the sake of squiring someone. They can’t just want a title. They need to want to achieve something greater than just a title.
Keeping you squire interested is a real challenge. To constantly make sure they are striving for something and not just becoming stagnant. Jason Rosa once said that projects build bonds. Work on a gathering, build a big monster concept or an event type you don’t normally participate in.
3. They need to be approachable. I am very outgoing, often loud and very much a people person. If you are shy it doesn't exclude you from working with me. You should be prepared to come out of your shell and then blowing that shell up.
Talking to people is tough, it can be scary for those who are shy. However, I look at a knight as a Role Model as someone who will have to speak and be comfortable doing so. So it is only natural that your squire should also have to work on such things to get comfortable approaching the new players of the community or the old players looking for help..
4. They need to be active. After ten+ years of playing I am still hitting 30+ events a year and my mentee would need to be equivalent if not at least 12 to 24 events a year. I look for someone to adventure with, help guard the western flank, clean up with and someone to teach. As a wise person once told me” you need to show up to play.”
5. Someone who doesn't mind being a blank slate. Often times when mentoring someone you will show them a different way to learn. They need to be open to trying new things, to try your ways, and to try become something more than what they once were.
Someone with no preconceived conclusions of the tasks you are setting in front of them. Someone who will try honestly with the good ol college try attitude. Will they fall? Sometimes it will be your job to pick them up show them how to improve and guide them to the goal you set for them.
6. Most importantly I also look for someone who will ultimately better me in the long run. Someone who will push me to go to events, push me to make new armor and weapons, push me to be the mentor I need to be.
Jacob has done an excellent job revitalizing me and motivating me for years to come.
So, Thank you Squire. Well done!!