While there are many different styles of mentoring the following are some things that have worked well for me/ I believe I’ve done reasonably well:
- Thoughtfully considering who to take as a squire/apprentice and only doing so if I feel it is in both of our best interests and they are likely to be successful.
- Recognizing that my relationship with my squires and apprentices will span the course of years, and acknowledging that during it there are times we work together more closely and times we do less frequently or less intensely. Striving to respect their outside interests and lives.
- Setting goals with them rather than for them.
- Involving other Knights and people I respect in their training.
- Creating a network of people I have/do work with that assist each other.
- Encouraging them to get several perspectives and to think critically on all the advice they receive, including from me.
- Spending a mix of in and out of character time together and getting to know them well. I’ve heard Jason Rosa say your squires should be your best friends, and agree with that perspective.
- Admitting I’m human and make mistakes, and striving to make amends/not make the same mistake twice.
- Continually striving to better myself and putting as much work into self-improvement as I ask them to.
- Recognizing that they have skills in some areas that exceed my own and valid opinions and perspectives. Learning as much (and at times more) from them as they do from me.
- Including a variety of tasks that touch on different parts of the game and are suited to different learning styles. This includes allowing them to showcase what they are naturally good at and interested in and requiring them to do things that are out of their comfort zone.
- Praising publicly and often, criticizing privately and only when truly needed.
- Having reasons for the tasks assigned and being willing to explain them (though occasionally after the fact).
- Taking responsibility for staying in contact and ensuring we’re regularly working together.
- Clearly voicing expectations.
- Accepting Personal Service- The fetching of drinks or weapons, putting up tents, making things specifically for your knight, etc. I've never required that type of action thinking it is demeaning to those I work with and because I'm not sure I'd be comfortable accepting it. As I've begun training in martial arts though, with a sensei who is caring, reasonably humble, and "walks the walk" while also clearly demanding respect and service, I see the benefits of that not to the teacher but to the student in what they gain through respecting and honoring the relationship and through giving service.
- Recognizing that we each have an equal role in making the relationship work and while if the relationship is not successful I should consider what I could have done differently, not taking it personally.
- Assigning tasks on the fly and not tracking that I’d asked for them to be done to do appropriate follow up.
Of all the things I’ve done though the thing I think is most important is that I approach squiring someone as a long term important commitment, and care enough about the person I enter into that type of agreement with and our community to consistently strive to do it as well as I can. I believe this is the reason why I’ve been able to successfully mentor four people in game formally and expect to mentor at least as many successfully in the future.