"Baby Wars"
The realms was peaceful for a time
The home of Tuilli, finest speaker
of the nine
He was famous as a bastard and he wore that title well
A hit
with the kids and the denizens of hell
Now Neden was a questing town,
loaded up with loot
And robbing it would be quite the bastard thing to
do
Syruss found a letter, Neden will host a event next fortnight
And
it’s called the Baby Fights
So register early and don’t forget to
prepay
Or you may miss the most gruesome event yet to date,
Tulli the
bastard’s coming, the man will never quit
And he’s after Neden’s
shi…stuff!
Now Neden’s well defended, but Tuilli had a trick
You see
he’s well respected by all those under six
And though they have few
spells, they are all awfully cute
And beneath those sparkling eyes is a
cold hearted brute
So they came in droves, but the guards just let them
pass
A few seconds later those guards just breathed their last
Tuilli
knew he had a chance, he already knew he’d win
'Cause what monster kills a
kid?
So register early and don’t forget to prepay
Or you may miss the
most gruesome event yet to date,
Tuilli the bastard’s coming, the man
will never quit
And he’s after Neden’s shi…stuff!
Well the event was
supposed to begin at dawn so it started at 12 of course.
All the
questers were silent, not sure what was in store
They yelled “Tuilli come
on out, beat us if you can.”
And that was when the rattling sounds and
the crying all began
An army of toddlers soon swarmed, 20 strong and 3
feet high
Each of them had armor, and murder in their eyes.
They had the
players surrounded, there was doubt on every face
But oh well, they
already paid!
So sorceries to the
front and let those javelins fly
When has ethics ever stopped us from having a good time?
Tulli ran away, so the armies disorganized
and you’re gonna win this fight
That's right!
When has ethics ever stopped us from having a good time?
Tulli ran away, so the armies disorganized
and you’re gonna win this fight
That's right!
[Guitar solo]
Now wipe the blood of your tabards and drink to forget
You just murdered a child, are you proud of yourself yet
Baptise will be busy, veal’s on the menu tonight
And you won the Baby Fights!
Now wipe the blood of your tabards and drink to forget
You just murdered a child, are you proud of yourself yet
Baptise will be busy, veal’s on the menu tonight
And you won the Baby Fights!