I Can't Even...
by Sara "Zarine" Jessop
by Sara "Zarine" Jessop
… Tardiness
This coming
weekend we do that thing we all hate; change the time keeping devices. We get
to lose a whole hour from our lives for no good reason at all. Don't worry, it
will be returned to us in the fall, but in the meantime we get the gift of
longer days and shorter nights. Some of you selfish plebs might think this is a
good thing, but some of us depend on long nights for fun and profit. Putting
negative effect on my business aside, time is a good topic for this week.
When I think
about time, dear reader, I immediately think of being on time which then makes
me think of my biggest pet peeve: tardiness. My good friend Mr. Webster defines
tardy as the following: delayed beyond the
expected or proper time; late. Tardiness
fills me with a rage I can't even explain. “But Zarine, you're just so
impatient...” No. Well, yes, I am, but that isn't the point. One should not
have to be patient for tardy individuals for they should not be tardy in the
first place.
 |
| No, you're not a wizard. You're some pleb with spells. |
Recently
there was a saying going around the magical nether that proposed that a person
who arrives late should not apologize but rather thank the person for being
patient. The thought of someone thanking me for such a thing makes me vomit a
bit in my mouth. First off, do not assume the person who waited was in any way
patient. They likely were pacing about trying to contain their righteous
indignation towards your uncouth rudeness as they checked their pocket watch
every thirty seconds and convinced themselves to wait just another minute.
An
apology is a way of taking responsibility for your actions. If you are the one
who was late, then that is your burden to bear, not the poor distraught person
who had to wait for your inconsiderate derrière. There is nothing wrong with
thanking them for waiting as part of your apology, but by only thanking them
you are putting the onus of the incident upon their shoulders rather than your
own. Even if it wasn't precisely your fault that you were late (your horse
threw a shoe, your wife couldn't find the right lipstick, etc) it certainly
wasn't the other persons fault. No one wants to hear your excuses, just
apologize and move on with whatever you are now late for.
Late
to an appointment? Do not ever assume that they can still see you. You would be
amazed at how many folks are late at the bathhouse and just think that they can
be squeezed in. First of all, we charge extra for that. Second, you are not the
only person in the Realms. Should the next person have to wait simply because
you are late? You likely answered “yes” because you are a dimwitted nughead who
only cares about yourself. The correct answer is absolutely not. “But Zarine,
the customer is always right...” Like hell they are! Those of us in the service
industry may have to put up with a lot in the name of professionalism, but I,
at least, am willing to draw a line somewhere and the line is at being late. If
you don't like it, feel free to find yourself alternative healthcare. Your poor
planning does not constitute an emergency on my party.
Now,
dear reader, please do not confuse tardiness with being fashionably late.
Arriving late to a social gathering where there is no requirement to be on time
is completely different than being late to your promised time. Unless you
specifically told someone you would be there before a certain time, then you
may arrive at whatever time you wish. However, never, ever, be late for dinner.
It is also quite gauche to arrive in the midst of court or bardic performance.
It's disruptive to everyone else who was on time. If you must arrive at an
inopportune time such as these, simply try to be as unobtrusive as possible,
waiting to take your seat when there is a break in the presentation. When the
moment presents itself, apologize to both the host and other guests for your
delayed arrival.
I
am rarely late for my appointed time of arrival. If I am, most people worry
that I am dead in a ditch somewhere for it is such an unusual occurrence. Or
perhaps it is less of a worry and more of a giddy hopefulness, but whichever it
is, you get the gist. I do not know why I do not have a difficulty being on
time. It may be all of my years of traveling with Trent. When he says he is
leaving at nine and you show up at one minute past he will have already left.
And you can be assured that he won't apologize for leaving you behind.
Maybe
if us timely individuals started holding others to a higher standard, they will
at least attempt to live up to them. Don't accept their excuses. Hold them
accountable for their tardiness and utter waste of your time. Stop waiting
around for people who are perpetually late, or at least demand that they
contact you to let you know that they are running behind.
Honestly, being on time does not require any
special skill, it simply depends on a healthy respect for others and the
ability to compensate for your own circumstances. Do you find that you are
always late? Leave earlier. No, really, it's that simple. Whatever it takes to
achieve that, do it. Get up earlier, set your time device ahead a bit, set a
reminder alarm, get things ready the evening before, or whatever works best for
you. Account for things such as the weather, heavy traffic, road construction,
horse troubles, getting lost, your children being obnoxious brats, etc which
could set you behind unexpectedly. Stop making excuses and start making
solutions.
Oh,
and don't forget to turn your clocks ahead one hour Sunday morning. Or else you
will be even more late than you already are.
See
you next Tuesday.
Zarine is the
proprietor and Madam at Alchimia Lupanar, a magic marshal approved practitioner
of medicine, an award winning author, and has 36 years of experience in giving
her unsolicited opinion.