Ask the Editors
By,
The Editors
Episode 13
Hello again and welcome back to the place where we give you our honest to goodness solicited opinions on all things LARP related.
This weeks question comes to us via email:
"Should EHs start putting age limits on their events if they don't want minors attending, or should Staff, parents/guardians, and PCs alike police themselves and their friends if kids are present at an event?"
~Anonymous
Let's get some answers!
First up, Jen 'Areni' DeNardis-Rosa
“I think the answer to this question really depends on what type of event the EH is aiming for in terms of content, atmosphere, location, preference, etc. For instance, if the EH is planning no kid content or activities at all, or the event is to take place at a site that is not appropriate for kids (due to facilities or lack thereof, terrain, etc), or if the EH/ staff just does not want children at their event, they would be well within their rights to put an age limit on the event, or at least note these types of things in the event description. With the growing number of families in the Realms and a finite amount of time, age limits or announcement information pertinent to children could be helpful for parents planning on what events to attend. But again, it is up to the discretion of the EH, and any person concerned about bringing a child to an event would do well to contact the EH or staff with any questions.
As for policing, I think it goes without saying that while people should generally try to be more aware of themselves in terms of language and actions when children are around, the fact is that most people see Realms as a way to kick back, relax, and have fun on the weekends. While some events have more of a family-friendly reputation, others do not; therefore, it is not always reasonable to assume or demand that people alter the way they act in the presence of kids at different events. It would mainly be up to the parent/ guardian to determine which events are more appropriate to bring a minor to, as well as how to react to different situations while at events. As always, when in doubt - check with the EH.”
Thanks Jen!
Next, we hear from Lani 'Gwen' Grayson:
“Let me start off by saying that I believe event holders have total decision making power over their events. So if an event holder wants to ensure that an event is kid free, I think they have every right to make that announcement on their event description, just like some invitations to mundane gatherings are accompanied by the same boundaries. However, if it isn’t explicitly stated in the event write-up, I think it’s up to parents to use their best judgment when deciding whether or not a particular event is right for their child to attend. Part of that decision making process is understanding that there may be adult content at the event (either provided by the EHs or the players). I think that common sense goes a long way in these situations, with parents choosing events that are suitable for their children, and for players to be slightly more responsible in those situations where children are present. For example, we’ve always encouraged children at our Event Which Must Not Be Named series, and we’ve had a few present for several years. I think that generally the PCs have been very accommodating when children were present and we were happy to provide content for a variety of ages. At these same events, there were some adult activities that took place as well. Ultimately, the players and the parents and kids were all able to make a smart respectful choice that didn’t put unnecessary strain on any particular party involved. I think that we would be wise as a community to make sure that we aren’t alienating any particular portions of our player base, including those that prefer the company of children and those that don’t.”
Thanks Lani!
Next up, Sara 'Zarine' Jessop
“I am probably in the minority here, but I would prefer that the Realms was an 18+ system. Some of this is just personal preference as it's no secret that kids are not my thing. There are some friends/family kids that I enjoy and love, but when I am kicking back on the weekend with my chosen hobby I don't want kids there.
There are other, less selfish reasons as well. The Realms tends to be fairly adult oriented. Drinking/smoking and other extracurricular activity, adult language, nudity and sexual 'innuendos' are all not appropriate for children. Some parents feel comfortable bringing their children around such things, but there are many people who are not comfortable with children present. Of course there are tamer events where many of the above mentioned things do not happen, and are perhaps more kid friendly than others, but the game as a whole is just not a place that I feel is a proper place for kids. And it certainly isn't fair for the people who either choose not to have children, or just choose for their eventing to be child-free, to have to deal with the repercussions of having children present and asking them to police themselves due to minors present.
As our current rules have no age restrictions, ultimately it is up to the event holder to decide if their event is family friendly or not. I certainly feel that they should be perfectly able to exclude children if they so wish, or to welcome them if they feel their event is appropriate. I do think that it should be clearly stated in the event announcement, especially for newer events where there hasn't been precedent set yet, or for older events where the tenor has perhaps changed a bit over the years. Then, everyone on both sides of the fence can make an informed decision on whether or not they wish to attend.”
Thanks Sara
Next with an opinion, Alex 'Lucas' Newbold:
""Should EHs start putting age limits on their events if they don't want minors attending, or should Staff, parents/guardians, and PCs alike police themselves and their friends if kids are present at an event?"
"Well, you answered your own question right there. “If they don’t want minors attending”. Then yes, they should put an age limit in the event announcement, which would count as an Event Specific Rule. Also, age limits? You need to reframe your question. Because you know you don’t mean “can 67 year old Uncle Dave come to events?” You mean, “can my 6 year old come along with me, so I don’t have to pay a sitter.”
To your second question…
“Should PC’s alike police themselves and their friends if kids are present?”
Yeah… so… that’s a tricky thing. As a parent, I don’t expect other people to not swear around my kids. Or to not misbehave around my kids. Other adults, are other adults. I expect, to keep my kids away from people who would do things I don’t want my kids to see, or to be involved in. Needless to say, there are certain events, and event sites, that my boys won’t be spending much time at. At least until they are old enough to make decisions for themselves, or certain actions that have been tolerated in the past, stop happening at events."
Thank you Alex!
Now, let's hear from Diana 'Kiira' LaPierre:
“As the Realms stands right now, we have portions of events that are for mature participants only. It's more of a guideline than a rule, per say, but there are events that people either don't bring their children to or highly supervise them. As an example, I won't bring my children to Creathorne for the foreseeable future. With a nighttime atmosphere that encourages belligerence, excessive alcohol consumption, and mature antics, I will choose not to bring my children to that event for fear of potential hazards. On a different end of the spectrum, I won't bring my children to events where there have been several cases of people having been infected with Lyme Disease. As far as content that an Event Holder is throwing that they deem to be adult only, I have no problem with them only allowing legal adults to attend. It makes the Players and NPCs able to act in such a way where they aren't uncomfortable and need to censor themselves. Sometimes, there has been situations that have come up where children were around for inappropriate conversations and situations. It can hamper people's fun.”
Much thanks, Diana!
So there you have it, our major feelings about minors at events. It seems that most of us feel that it depends on the type of event and event holder discretion. Of course, each parent is responsible for the well being of their own child, and they also should be making informed decision on whether certain events are right for them. Please be sure to read event announcements before deciding whether or not to bring the whole family, or just yourself.
Thank you for reading! Please join us next time when we answer a very important question: "Do you think sexism is still rampant in the Realms? Why or why not? Do you care?"
Questions can be sent to Sara “Zarine” Jessop via email (Sarajjesop@gmail.com), facebook messenger, or in person. The question box will also be making the rounds at various events. Please note if you'd like your question to remain anonymous and/or if you would like to address specific editors