I Can't Even ...
by,
Sara 'Zarine' Jessop
… Dining Disappointment
This past weekend another Feast of Blackwood came and went. It's one of my favorite days of the year. I love dinner parties and the fine folks in Blackwood throw one of the best year after year.
There were many excellent things about the day. I got to spend time with my dear friend Piper while we haughtily judged all the plebs of The Realms, though I must say that it's getting harder to look down my nose at you as you've all taken much of my advice and were much better dressed and your manners were much improved. I was impressed by the Folkstone party having perfectly matched salt and pepper shakers. In fact, most of the tables were quite well decorated and set out. The blackjack table was kind to me for once and I walked away with my purse slightly heavier. Sir Bones even managed not to spatter me with blood when he exploded outside the feast hall.
The food was delicious as always. The Hungarian Mushroom soup was exceptional, even if it was far too hot and humid out to truly appreciate anything even slightly warm. The cheesy cauliflower substitution was far superior to the cheesy macaroni dish, and I hear tell that vegetarians were served one of my favorite dishes, ratatouille. I am slightly offended that the people with dietary restrictions got such special treatment and respectfully request that we all get fair and equal treatment in the future. My taste bud's hurt feelings were bolstered by the lemon prosciutto flatbread however, which could possible be one of my new favorite things, and if the recipe for it isn't published in The View in the very near future we should all riot on King K's front lawn.
Overall I was having a very pleasant day eating, gossiping, and giving refugees fashion advice. Yes, dear reader, I was quite enjoying myself. And then court happened and King K announced that he hoped we had all enjoyed our food and that dessert would be on it's way; effectively signaling the end of the main courses. Well I almost couldn't hide my outrage, but I did because I'm a lady and sometimes you just have to suck it up, but I literally couldn't even I was so upset. “But Zarine, what could possibly have upset you so,” you are thinking. The same thing that should have upset everyone; dinner was over and we weren't getting any Blackwood Meatloaf.
You see, my dears, if you are new to The Realms or just have never visited Blackwood then you don't quite understand exactly what it is you have been deprived of. It's a true delicacy. The most wonderful of all of the loafs. Other loafs hang their heads in shame when told of it's tastiness and succulency as they know that they can never compete with such a champion of cuisine. We were all dispossessed of the joy and glory that is Blackwood Meatloaf and I for one am not going to take this laying down. I mean, I am, because I take most things laying down, but you get my point.
The people of Blackwood owe us all an apology and I demand that we be recompensed with large quantities of Blackwood Meatloaf at your earliest convenience. And throw in some of that lemon-prosciutto flatbread for pain and suffering. And maybe some cheesy cauliflower. And that Hungarian Soup. We have gone without for too long! We don't want a whole chicken that we must carve ourselves. We want individually packaged, easily portable, and easy to reheat king of the loafs, Blackwood Meatloaf!
See you next Tuesday.