Ask the Editors
by,
The Editors
Episode 20
Hello again and welcome.
This week's questions was asked to us in person:
“Have you ever been snubbed by any entity in The Realms, and how did that make you feel?”
~Anonymous
(At least we think it was anonymous, we never really asked, so it will remain that way for now unless they wish to come forward.)
First up, we have Lani 'Gwen' Grayson:
“This is a tough question to answer, because I think at one time or another we all believe that our hard work goes unnoticed. My theory is that people do notice, but often fail to say those nice things we love to hear out loud. That means that we can all be a part of the solution, rather than a part of the problem. If you see someone doing something great, don’t feel embarrassed to compliment them on it--just go for it and enjoy the smile that it brings to someone else’s face. And if you do feel like you’ve been overlooked for something you believe you deserve, take solace in the fact that the only person you have control over is you, and continue doing your best for as long as it makes you happy to do so. Someday someone may notice, or they might not, but either way, as long as you are doing what makes you happy then that’s what really counts in the end.”
Excellent advice. Thanks Lani.
Next up, Diana 'Kiira' LaPierre:
“The game has had a history of orders that are very subjective(not to be confused with objective which I often do). On just my own opinion, orders like that are made for hard feelings. I tend to disagree with them on that basis.
What someone appears to do versus what they actually do can be completely different things, and when someone is not in your social circle, or they are in an opposing one, appearances aren’t always what they seem.
Then, sometimes, you can have someone who talks a big game but doesn’t actually do the things they say and/or believe they do, and if you take them at face value, you are being hoodwinked into thinking they deserve admittance into the organization. That person may not be in your social circle, but when they self-promote, you could think they deserve it. On the opposite end of that, there are those who do a lot to fulfill that requirement, but because they are humble and don’t promote themselves or ask for credit, they fly under the radar.
Bottom line is: friends promote friends. What I see happening is people promoting their friends within orders because it’s who they see on a regular basis and maybe someone who they push to do the same things as themselves. Ask some twenty or more year players and they may tell you that not much has changed. It’s human nature to want to help your friends.”
Excellent insight, Diana, thank you.
Next, we hear from Jen 'Areni' Denardis-Rosa
“So this doesn't technically answer the question, because my short answer to the question is no, I do not feel that I have been snubbed by any organization in the game. But as a shy newbie, I did find it hard sometimes to meet people and make friends within the game. I am blessed now to have a large circle of friends and acquaintances within the Realms that have built up over the years, but I didn't feel that this was always the case. I found myself often feeling intimidated by the "movers and shakers" during the time that I was a newbie, and tended to stick close to the circle of people who brought me into the game and to a smaller extent, the people I met through practice. While the majority of people I met during the time seemed to me to be welcoming and open to newbies, it was sometimes hard for me to "put myself out there" and get out of my box. Through the years I've gotten much more comfortable socially and have gotten to know a lot of the "big deal" people that I was once intimidated by, and it's been a very rewarding for me and has lead to many treasured relationships, for sure.”
Thank you for sharing your experience, Jen.
Last up, Sara 'Zarine' Jessop weighs in:
“So, this is an interesting question for me. Of course I have felt snubbed by a group in the game. If you don't know which, you haven't been paying attention. However, how it makes me feel is totally different than how it makes Zarine feel. Zarine is just a lonely, bitter harpy who likes to complain and hide her hurt feelings under sarcasm and haughtiness. Sara isn't upset much at all. I mean, on an OOC level I enjoy promoting fashion and culture in the game, but I don't need to be a part of a group to do that. I just continue doing what I enjoy and trying to promote positive changes where I feel that they can happen in my own way. I just happen, for the most part, to use my character to effect those changes.
Sara and Zarine are different people, though of course played by the same stunning actress, with different reactions and feelings. My feelings aren't hurt because I was overlooked, in fact, I don't even think I even was overlooked. I think that I may have been passed over for others who were perhaps better liked by the group. I am not saying it's not hurtful at all, to feel unliked, but in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal, and I am probably reading too much into it anyways. I can still enjoy myself and do what I do without being a part of it. In fact, much of who Zarine has become has come about from the inner turmoil she feels from being snubbed. So really, maybe being snubbed has been the best thing that ever happened to me (in the game, let's be honest, way better things have happened to me IRL) so that I could make Zarine a better character to play.”
Thank you, Sara,
So there you have it. It seems that we all feel that the most important thing is doing what you love for you, because you can't expect other people to give you recognition. Be happy with yourself. You can still do great things without the validation of others.
We love answering your questions! Speaking of which, we need more, so if you want to keep reading out spectacular answers, we'll need you to send more questions our way. The information on how is in italics below. We hope to hear from you soon!
Questions can be sent to Sara “Zarine” Jessop via email (Sarajjessop@gmail.com), facebook messenger, or in person. The question box will also be making the rounds at various events. Please note if you'd like your question to remain anonymous and/or if you would like to address specific editors