Welcome to another Wacky Adventure with some of your favorite Neden Boys.
This week we join them in the "Case of Wacky Waters"
(naming things are hard aka what you missed Off the Hook by Cal Marsden)
Once again I received word at the Syruss Detective agency that a mad monarch was up to something fishy. In reality, I get two to three of these requests a week. This request came from an unknown country to me at the time. The Country of Pacifica an Ocean based land I have not had the pleasure of visiting.
Time to rectify this.
I had Sir Naj open a portal for Priest Z, my Squire Darkin, Jean-Baptise, his son Beatball Baptise and myself.
*Swish sworp plurgal burgle portal sounds***
"Ahhhhhhh" we collectively yelled as we realized the Portal was 20 ft above the water.
***Splash** We all hit the Cool water with a thud. As we waded our way to shore we recognized our Rhiassa friends and some other collective members of the realms. We noticed Aeston was there with Priest Z and my son Elouan as well as Lord Gwen and Asharn and a few more whose names escape me. There was also a Chimeron Adventuring troop led by Janus, as their Sheriffs Priest Z and I would be checking in on them throughout the day. Finally, Creathorn and Aiden from Blackwood were there as well willing to lend a hand.
We quickly learned that a being known as the Fish King had bamboozled a local Sea Goddess Calypso. So the heroes of the realms and I all downed some gillyweed and jumped right into the action.
Evil Squid after Evil Squid attacked with a fierceness only known to creatures with 8 arms and 0 watches. We learned quickly that arms were the only way to affect these octopod beasts.
Darkin being Darkin ran around as a man possed. So naturally, I went to find Z to see if he was possessing Darkin again. He was not.
After swimming and battling and looting we were brought to this dry area where we were met by some unusual Scyring Screens that showed us images and visions from people far away. All of which seemed to add context in what we were doing in this Ocean Kingdom, to begin with.
I personally liked the Scrying channel names the Home Market Network. This magical channel showcased all kinds of cool items that we could buy. Not sure how to buy them through this scrying screen we were excited to see that the items magically appeared at a random vendor in the corner. This Mad Hatter was a real haggler and got himself the best price for his goods as possible.
Also during this time, we were gifted with views into the Daily lives of a few Ashenark friends. Sir Grindon was busy getting his hat stolen by a demon( the nerve of some of my cousins), Raynor was getting his face full of Cupcakes, or were they magic mushrooms (no arbitration committee not those) and he had TO EAT THE WHOLE THING, and then there was Kwido who was busy making pies, and man, he seemed to know an unlimited amount of pies.
After these delightful images being forced into our brains, we were greeted by a Captain Sheddarrrrrrrrr who's crew was destroyed by vengeful garbage monsters. We ventured back into the waters this time with an effort to clean up some of the ocean and hunt down the Creatures that attacked the Captains Crew. As we collected plastic straws and clean renewable coal we were able to forge weapons of great importance. These weapons would be used to defeat 4 champions of the waters who were causing a great deal of mischief.
The forge was not unlike the one we use in Neden which requires hot coals and to heat the material up to smelt out ore to forge the new weapons. There was a twist that I was naturally suited to solve. The coal could only be administered by throwing them in a small hole past a fiery inferno that we simply couldn't stick our hands in (despite the number of attempts). As one of Neden's cornhole heroes, I was quick to the task sinking clean renewable coal after renewable coal. The material we used to forge the weapons was hundreds and hundreds of plastic straws. We were assured these were the deadliest of the ores around and would make short work of these so-called champions.
Before you knew it we had 7 weapons. 6 of which needed to be wielded in pairs and one stand-alone staff. We managed to create twin Straw Katanas, a pare of Straw nunchucks, a pair of Straw Sais and the best Straw Bow this lord has ever wielded.
"Cowabunga Dudes!!!!!" Was Screamed and we all turned to face the menace.
Four green Humanoid Adult Size Samurai Tortoises attacked with reckless abandon. Heroes of Chimeron, Neden, BCreathorne, Rhiassa, and others all fell like leaves from a tree on a cold autumn day.
I quickly picked up my new Bow Staff and challenged the Purple wearing Tortious to Honorable Combat.
"Armor one chest" I screamed as parts of my armor went flying away with this turtle's fierce strikes.
Bang Bang Bang I rang down stricks to his harden shell like a bell on Dark One's Sunday mass. He was staggered but still not finished. With my Demon like abilities, I leaped into the air and brought my bow down on his head like a judges gavel giving out loud thud. My Champion was slain, luckily for me, the other Straw Wielding heroes also took down their prey.
After we defeated the Champions of the Sea many of the heroes of the Realms re polluted the Oceans, Neat! I am not sure why but the Trash monsters need an ecosystem too so that works itself out.
After this, we were met with another set of Scrying Images that gave us more clue as to what was going on this day. There we were also greeted by a lovely Lady who was giving out sandwiches and Tea. A REALMS TEA PARTY I am pretty sure our host was named Alice. There we were met by Lord Aestone's son Comedeytron a robotic comedy machine. It appears he was dumped into the ocean and needed saving. After my Neden Boys and I cleaned off all the seaweed and rust we offered him a home in Neden were he could tell all his hilarious jokes to me every day.
We entered the water again and fought a great a many of squids all while trying to help the Cool Catapillar become a butterfly, once we helped him get all cocooned he promised to help us find the Fish King.
We battled a Mini Fish that we thought was the King we were wrong and almost dead wrong. But we remembered that the Fish King can Change shapes and we remembered this just in time to get attacked by him in his new form.
He attacked us as the Mighty Disney armed with an Infinity Mitten. He tried to smack it together in order to destroy us but as he did the gems scattered. Neden collected 3, the realms collected the rest. While The Spider, you know our adventuring Humanoid Spider who eats unicorns, well he got the Mitten off of Disney's hands.
I gave Spider Neden's stones because he seemed trustworthy and offered to give me some Unicorn meat. After this, it was more sandwiches and another trip to the Market. Here we were greeted by the Scrying Screen to a Jaques La Mange who was selling all kinds of cool trinkets that surely would be helpful for the perils to come.
The next room we were met with more fighting and Helping A Wizard Merlyn and his apprentice Nemu with channeling water from one area to another. We did a great work popping in and out of portals and getting the water to where it needed to be.
During this time I got to sing amazing songs with a beautiful mermaid named Ariel. Who Thoril kept killing and stealing her seashells, thankfully he left two or we would have had a whole separate set of issues.
We were challenged by the King of Fish to a Queen of Carps tournament. Here we engaged in several Queen of Hearts war maneuvers with a twist.
Chess was particularly hard with pieces moving on their own, but I think our lack of coordination confused the Carp King enough for us to take the lead in these minigames.
Queen of Carps ended in a Tie that could only be broken by a DANCE OFF.
The heroes of the Realms danced our buns off to defeat two Sharks with moves that of which would make Nymbous O'Leary blush. But our coordination, imagination, and vibrations were enough to make some Shark Fin Soup out of these poor dancing fools.
We were quickly making our way throw all sorts of challenges in all sorts of strange waters until such time that the Fish King decided to face us in his final form. He took the form of a Jabberwocky and quickly made short work of our small troop. Various adventurers were sorted in suits, hearts, spades, clubs, and diamonds and given individual tasks. It is here that I can only speak about what happened with the Spades.
We were attacked by Ballon monsters that needed popping. Me and my troop popped and popped until each ballon fragment slowly floated away in the water.
After each suit defeated the respective challenges we were gifted with an 8'8 Vorpal Sword. This is where I asked the heroes of the Realms to lend me their strength so that I could wield this mighty sword and take down our fearsome foe. With 40+ Adventurers lending me their might I wielded the Sword with epic fashion gutting the Jabberwocky were it stood.
After the Jabberwocky went down we all started to hallucinate and appear on the shoreline with mushroom steams and cupcake wrappers everywhere. Did we EAT THE WHOLE THING? Was this a dream? A fever Hallucination caused by Magic Mushrooms and Scrying Screens? Or was I the Hero the Realms needed today? The New Sword in my hand told me today's events were real enough and that was good enough for me.
With that, I thank the heroes for the memories and had Sir Naj come port me and my Neden boys safely back to the castle.
So to recap
Fish King ganked the Sea Goddess Calypso
The Turtles destroyed Captain Sheddarrrrrrs Ship and Crew, we took out those troublesome turtles.
The Cool Catapillar turned into a butterfly and guided us to face the Fish King
Comedetron was a robot during load screens we got to move to Neden
Merlyn and Nemu were wizards trying to fix the flow of water. Which we helped with good for us.
Fish King had many forms Including Walt Disney and the Terrifying Jabberwocky but he was no match me Lord Sir Syruss the Jabberwocky slayer.
I got a new Sword and the Realms was Saved...maybe...
Today's adventures were certainly one for the books, I am not sure which books but some books.
Until next time loyal readers
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Lord Syruss O'Leary
Lord Syruss O'Leary