by Sara "Madam Zarine" Jessop
Issue #1: An Introduction
There isn’t much I love more than judging people. I am going to judge you whether you want me too or not, so wouldn't you rather direct that judgement towards something specific? Guide me to judge something over here and hopefully I won’t notice that thing over there?
I am unveiling a brand new ‘Ask Zarine’ segment, where you ask me to judge whether or not you are the arsehole in a given situation. I’ll either deem you the arsehole, not the arsehole, the other person(s) the arsehole(s), or maybe a combination of all those, with a brief explanation of how I arrived at this decision. The question and my response will be published in The View and the general public will get a chance to weigh in as well! What’s better than the entire Realms getting a chance to judge you, publicly and with the safety net of being miles and miles away from any physical repercussions?
Wondering what to ask me? Well, here are a few examples of the types of situations you might be wondering about:
‘I upset my friend by tilting all their pictures slightly and now they won’t invite me over anymore even though I explained that it was a joke, AITA?’
‘My boss took a chance on me when no one else would, and I stole from her because I don’t feel like she pays me enough and she’s rich anyways so she won’t miss it. AITA?’
‘I won’t let my friend help with a project even though she’d be really good at it and I won’t give her a reason. I just keep ignoring her request to help and complaining about the other people who I did allow to help. AITA?’
These are just totally random examples and have nothing to do with anything happening in my life at all in any way. And as they are only examples (again, not taken from my actual life in any way), I am sure you have all found ways to be an abject arse in ways that I haven’t even thought of. Be sure to include as much detail regarding your personal issues as possible so that I can accurately deem you a terrible person while feeling better and better about my own life choices.
Don’t worry, I’ll keep you anonymous if you request it. And really how bad can it be? Well, alright, it could probably be pretty bad, but think of the entertainment value you’ll be providing to the community by the unfettered honesty released through your query! And you might even become a better person through the self awareness gained by virtue of crowd-sourced veracity.
You can send your questions directly to me (sarajjessop@gmail.com if you have no other contact information for me) or you can reach me through the View’s offices at areni.daru@gmail.com .
I look forward to judging you!