by Sara "Zarine" Jessop
Issue #3: Exhausted and Out of Spells
Dear Madame Zarine
I have been in the Realms for years now. I have met extremely lovely people who I would give my life for, or better yet live for so that I may protect them.
Then there are those whom I despise. Who’s actions and corner cutting and backstabbing sour my stomach. They lie and cheat and are selfish in our adventures who swoop in once all those at the frontline have either been successful/killed/or distracted by combat to reap the rewards. They are obvious favorites of gods because their magic and armor are endless and I envy their blessing.
As blatant as this is, all of the people of the Realms love them. They are held on pedestals and patted on the head and encouraged to milk their deities' graces. They are never called upon their hoarding of treasures. While we protect them through our adventures and tarnish ourselves with blood sweat and tears, they proclaim to be the heroes of the day while we are tossed to the side as useless pawns.
I feel wrong for having this bitterness boil in me, but am I wrong?
AITA for not loving these people? AITA for thinking they are despicable and need to be punished like the spoiled rotten children they are behaving like? AITA for intentionally not being nice to them and plotting with others to commit atrocities that will lead to their downfall?
Sincerely,
Exhausted and Out of Spells
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Dear Exhausted and Out of Spells,
This is actually three questions and you spelled ‘Madam’ wrong, but I am nothing if not forgiving so I shall answer your questions. Yes, all three of them. Some of this is similar to a question I already answered, so for my feelings on ‘jumping the line and collecting loot like an opportunistic twit’ please refer to Issue #2: Frustrated Front-Line Fighter.
Now, as for them being ‘favored by their gods’ I am going to assume from context that you mean ‘drawing upon more power than the rest of us are blessed with’. I too have encountered these adventurers. The ones who never seem to run out of magical energies. They always have a spell handy, even though they clearly used their daily allotment hours ago when we were stuck on that bridge because we couldn’t figure out that puzzle that was there for literally no discernible reason.
We could call it a lot of different things; over channeling, favored by the gods, fraud, fortuitous tidings, aggressive borrowing … but the word for this in the mundane language is ‘cheating’. I like that word because it feels harsh and wrong, so that’s the one I’m going to go with. Why do we allow it, this cheating? It clearly bothers people to the point of plotting crimes of their own, so why don’t we do something about it? I’ll tell you why. No one likes a cheater when they are cheating against them. However, a whole lot of people love a cheater when they are cheating for them. Yes, there are a few who are legitimately good and just people who would call those folks out regardless of if it benefited them. Unfortunately those types are in limited supply and we recently lost one of them. Most people either encourage ‘helpful cheating’, or at the very least overlook it - victimless crime and all that. Add to that the political and social ramifications involved in calling someone out for something ‘harmless’ and most people will just look the other way.
So we all turn a blind eye while these fine patrons of more powerful gods than the rest of us worship are running amuck with unlimited power and ever growing egos. Do we think this won’t become a problem eventually? That literally sounds like an exact description of like, eighty percent of the articulate villains we’ve fought in these lands. Perhaps this is where our villains come from. Not from far off lands, born under a bad sign or cursed by an even bigger and badder villain. But from here, from our own ranks. The evil within them lovingly curated by us, the citizens of the Realms. We saw it at its infancy, and instead of doing something about it we nurtured it and fed it until it grew out of control. Suddenly, we shun them when they step over some invisible line that moves constantly, then act surprised when they destroy a few nations, move into an abandoned castle, and spend the rest of their natural (and unnatural, I suppose) lives trying to destroy all of us.
So, are you the arsehole for not loving these people? No, you’re not. You don’t have to like anyone. And you especially don’t have to like people who actively work against the common good in the guise of helping us succeed. There are actually quite a few folks who dislike these people, they just don’t want to make a political and/or social misstep and actually admit it outside their own circles.
Are you the areshole for thinking they are despicable and need to be punished like the spoiled rotten children they are behaving like? Again, no. These problems need to be dealt with lest they become bigger problems later. As much as I said we create these problems ourselves, that does not mean that the offenders are absolved of responsibility. We create the bigger problem by not dealing with the smaller problems from the start. They start the fire, but we throw on more kindling rather than attempting to put it out, so to speak. So they are sort of the arseholes, but honestly the collective population of the realms are the real arseholes for allowing it to continue and maybe we deserve what we get.
Are you the arsehole for intentionally not being nice to them and plotting with others to commit atrocities that will lead to their downfall? Alright, so you might be the arsehole here, but I suppose it really depends. Have they already become a supervillain beyond saving? Then no, you're not the arsehole, you're just doing what needs to be done at this point. Are they still savable? Then yes, you’re an arsehole for being a shady little walnut who takes them out from the shadows rather than facing the problem head on. Two wrongs don’t make a right, sadly. Punishing ‘problem adventurers’ should really be a realms-wide effort done openly and honestly and not the secret agenda of small groups on witch hunts. But then again, if no one is willing to do anything about it, sometimes you just need to be the arsehole and take matters into your own hands.
Verdict: Well, two out of three isn’t bad and you're mostly not the arsehole. Though since you are a part of the greater realms community and really we’re all the arseholes for putting up with this cocamamie, then in a roundabout way you kind of are the arsehole.
So, general plebs of the land, do you think they are an arsehole? No? Maybe? Well, don’t hold back, we all want to know! Feel free to weigh in in the comments.
Have a query about your potential arseholishness? You can send your questions directly to me (sarajjessop@gmail.com if you have no other contact information for me) or you can reach me through the View’s offices at areni.daru@gmail.com .