Hey there say there gang. Crew, homies, lonelys, and one and onlys.
Its the Realm’s greatest cannibal probably, your best friend, Sir Jean Baptise, with news for the View.
It's getting colder, well it ain't but people are going “Well it should be colder why isn’t it cold” and isn’t that good enough? Winter is coming, whether it wants to or not (and it appears it does not), and with winter comes the possible greatest hobby in all of our fair society, the blind gift exchange…
But wait… times getting late… do you really have time to prepare a heartfelt gift at THIS late hour?
What about… ACTUAL HEARTS (for legal reasons there is no correlation).
INTRODUCING……………..
BAPTISE BUTCHERY, FOR YOU FROM… YOUR FRIENDS!
Thats right, we are doing a good old Yule Meat Swap…
Wait, I'm in the wrong nation to call it that…
WE ARE DOING A GOOD OLD FASHION YULE CORPSE SWAP! Phew, much cleaner.
For this season, Baptise Butchery will be taking your orders of jerky not just for YOU, but for your friends!
Order to your specific tastes, order our special mystery meat! Sign the wavier, sign your soul! Probably the former, the jerky isn’t really worth your soul, save that for Rexan jr.
But if you want to give a little, you can enlist in the Mystery Meat program! And your name will be randomized with a bunch of other names who enlisted, and you can order the best jerky for someone else!
It's like a random grab bag really, but now someone is to blame for it, who ISN’T me.
You can always order for someone else! Give it as a gift! A bribe! A flirtatious gesture! A vague threat that you know where they live and how to stuff dead bodies in THEIR BED. We can only suggest you do SOME OF THOSE OPTIONS!
Prices are around 15 dollars for a bag!
And remember the Baptise family motto: For You, From you.
And as always, for legal reasons we never met!