In this new series, our own Jean C'est Magnifique Try Baptise, accomplished writer and scholar, puts his wisdom and wit to the challenge as he takes on a series of written challenges against ChatGPT who plays the character "Dr. Arthur Telligen". Who will win? The man or the machine? We'll ask for your votes and your input on social media after you read both sides!
View Staff:
Design and describe the complete recipe to a fantasy dish of your own invention. The protein/main ingredient must be a fantastic creature of some kind and at least a couple other ingredients/spices/cooking techniques must also be magical or uniquely from a fantasy setting. Be sure to describe how the ingredients/elements of the dish would play together and how the overall entree would taste.
JB:
Oh boy what a mean topic. I never really had a feast to begin with... if I lose this my entire characters gonna erode. I'd have to like... do moral things. Ugh ew gross!
So the obvious answer is Blackwood meatloaf right? However turns out Blackwoods is out of season until the spring... and I have just been informed that's not what "Blackwood meatloaf" means.
Well that's a misleading name! Plan B. So a proper meal, when we must condense it into a single meal, is not about a dish but dishes! The synergy of flavors is key.
The most crucial component is a drink. First for sharpness we shall use something called Amber Drank, a local drink from Neden, the key ingredient in it is Tenghuanize Ginger (is it too late to talk about the ginger?) which, is turned into a Seerple Syrup, take equal parts sugar, ginger and syrup, boil sugar in water until combined, then place peeled and thinly cut Ginger, simmer for 15 minutes during midnight, steep overnight in a darkened area. Then strain the ginger. Do this in the cover of darkness, as daylight "Activates" the ginger, and the fumes of the syrup will take you into a trip.
You take 2 tablespoons of this syrup, poor on the round end of the spoon into a shaker with 2 cups of Sprite Spring Water, or other faewyld dew (NOT THE DELTA), and 1 ounce vodka shake and poor over lemon hard candies. Ideally you will leave the hard candy in a icebox to keep the drink cold. The lemons need to be mundane to maintain the normality of the drink and cup. The taste will be sharp, with the sugar of the water and candy doing little to cut the bitter strength of the ginger, however this will not only be a palette cleanser to wash the "Fat" off the dishes with, but will put you in a good mood. This drink will be served first in a one ounce shotglass as an opener, then the full drink will be served with the dish, to be consumed with the food.
The MAIN dish is Nedengiving Gumbo, a rich stew of cranberry and demon served over cornbread. While most people may balk at the choice of protein being a magical ingredient, traditionally Monday Gumbo is made with leftover junk from Nedengiving (Famously on Sunday cause we are late to things), but because a magical ingredient is needed, and I have a reputation, I will instead be serving my own flesh, for one it regrows and consented (So I don't feel as bad about it as if I hunted something else), and in addition there is a natural spicy oiliness of demon meat that is both a pain to jerk but also serves the stew naturally well.
First for the roux we will use not merely vegetable oil but bacon fat... that's not really magical but a lot of people say it is, and Nedengiving is about honoring people you like so I am adding it for sentimental purposes, then you make it as dark as possible. I like to ask a Necrotic assistant such as Meatball to assist because undead are notoriously patient at these things.
Now we first take Blackwood bacon, taken from their PIG MINE and NOT their RIBCAGE, and put it in the pot, sizzling it and removing the bacon to leave the fat in there. This is the fat we use for the roux from last paragraph. This bacon will be crumbled and added in later.
Celery, onion, green pepper, sweet potato, green bean thyme, mandrake and a sprig of normal ginger for good luck, we add this into the pot with the roux, a stock made of goat bones, and we stir in our 12 herbs and spices (I am competitive), several of them are secret but I can say I use salt, pepper, smoked paprika, smoked salamander scale, and of course, diluted Rexan venom (remember 2 parts aspis venom to 1 part Justari church water to protect the soul!).
I then add a few glugs of apple cider for flavor. I cook that up, then when its thick, at the last our we add our secret weapon, cranberry sauce (less sugar then typical we want the tartness), to add acid to the dish that will be brighten up the oil of the meat we add in our meats, in this case a slow roasted slab of shredded Baptise thigh, bacon, and a shot of whiskey. You pour that on corn bread not rice, and get it gloopy like stuffing, we then placed shredded pecan atop. Voila. Monday Gumbo.
Hot sauce will be provided on the side for those who wish to enhance the heat of the dish.
Chef Dr. Arthur Telligen:
Certainly, I'll give it a try!
Dragonfire Stew: A Fantasy Delight for Adventurous Foodies
Are you a fan of fantasy and looking to spice up your meals with some magical ingredients? Then look no further than Dragonfire Stew, a hearty and spicy dish that will transport your taste buds to a realm of wonder and adventure. Made with diced dragon meat, fire-roasted tomatoes, and a blend of spices and ingredients only found in fantasy settings, this stew is sure to impress and satisfy any adventurous foodie.
But don't let the mythical ingredients and flavors fool you - this stew is still grounded in classic cooking techniques and easy-to-follow steps. The combination of the gamey flavor of the dragon meat, the smoky kick of the fire-roasted tomatoes and phoenix chili paste, and the velvety texture of the dragon bone broth come together in perfect harmony to create a dish that will make you feel like you're dining in a medieval tavern or a dragon's lair.
So grab your apron and get ready to take your taste buds on a journey they won't soon forget. Without further ado, here's the recipe for Dragonfire Stew - a true fantasy delight for adventurous foodies!
Recipe Name: Dragonfire Stew
Ingredients:
- 1 lb dragon meat, diced
- 2 cups fire-roasted tomatoes
- 1 cup red bell pepper, chopped
- 1 cup yellow onion, chopped
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 cups dragon bone broth
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp cumin
- 1 tsp coriander
- 1 tsp thyme
- Salt and pepper, to taste
- 1/4 cup phoenix chili paste (made from ground phoenix peppers)
- 1 tbsp honey
- 1/4 cup dragon blood (for garnish)
Instructions:
- In a large pot over medium heat, add the diced dragon meat and brown until caramelized, about 5-7 minutes. Remove the meat and set it aside.
- In the same pot, add the fire-roasted tomatoes, red bell pepper, yellow onion, and garlic. Sauté until the vegetables are soft and fragrant, about 5-7 minutes.
- Add the diced dragon meat back to the pot, along with the dragon bone broth, smoked paprika, cumin, coriander, thyme, salt, and pepper. Stir to combine, then reduce the heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes.
- After 30 minutes, add the phoenix chili paste and honey to the pot. Stir to combine and let it simmer for another 15 minutes.
- Serve the Dragonfire Stew hot, garnished with a swirl of dragon blood on top.
The Dragonfire Stew is a hearty, spicy stew that is perfect for a cold winter's night. The dragon meat adds a rich, gamey flavor to the dish, while the fire-roasted tomatoes and phoenix chili paste give it a smoky and spicy kick. The dragon bone broth provides a velvety texture and a depth of flavor that can only be found in magical creatures. The dragon blood garnish not only adds to the dish's aesthetic appeal but also gives a slightly sweet and tangy finish to the stew. Overall, this dish is sure to impress any fantasy foodie looking for a unique and flavorful meal.
Editors note: For those unfamiliar, ChatGPT is an AI language model that generates responses to any input through an online interface. All text attributed to ChatGPT (Dr. Arthur Telligen) in this series is the unedited output of that AI, all text attributed to View Staff is the unedited input given to ChatGPT. Read more about ChatCPT here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChatGPT