Realms lost one of it's own last week- Conrad Barnes, who played Garharz. His loss is felt deeply across the community and by those who knew and loved him best. In tribute, we have gathered memories that friends and family had posted or sent to us in the wake of this sad news. We hope that you read these words below and remember him in your own way. <3
Henry Giasson (Guilliam)
Conrad was always good to me. He was a positive and uplifting presence who was eager to share a drink, share a story, help the people around him, and treated everyone that I ever saw him interact with well. The world has lost someone who could bring a smile and some light wherever he went.
You’ll be missed. Tonight I’ll drink a toast for absent friends.
Sara Jessop (Madam Zarine)
My first memory of Garharz was during a large war tournament. I don't remember which one, only that it was at Andy's. He'd set up a mystic forge, and was repairing people's armor like a madman. 'I fix it fast, I fix it good' is the only part of the verbal I remember, rapid fire over and over in that crazy accent.
The character was the total package. Look, accent, personality, spell build... Everything tied together into a cohesive, real character. But I remember thinking, often times people who play characters that quirky often burn out, and while it was cool it wouldn't last. Eventually he'd lose the accent, or tone down some other parts of the character for ease of play. But he never did. While I'm sure he grew and changed as a person, he still stuck with who Garharz was at heart.
Conrad added to the immersion of our game so much, and in a way few do. He was more than that goofy accent. He roleplayed his spell build in a way that I'd never seen done before, and without sacrificing effectiveness. He proved that you could be a great roleplayer and also a great combatant at the same time, without needing to sacrifice any of one for the other. He was an inspiration for a new generation of combat casters. Off the field he helped introduce new tavern games and he was always willing to help anyone, new or old, learn how to play them. He was welcoming and friendly and easy to strike up an in character conversation with. He didn't take himself too seriously and just played his character with such pure joy that was infectious.
I didn't spend too much time with him outside of the game, but at a friend's wedding a few months back I realized I liked Conrad the real life person a lot. We tend to spend so much time in a game world with each other that we often forget to get to know the players behind our alter egos better. We should do that more before we realize it's too late.
The world will be a little dimmer without your light, my friend. Safe passage to whatever comes next.
Beth Tozier (Freesia)
Hail to the traveler as he goes!
Lo, do I see you as you are, were, and could be,
I see you as you go where we cannot follow.
Hail to the traveler as he goes!
Lo, do I see you as you go,
Joined by those who have gone before; those that will guide you away from us.
Hail to the traveler as he goes!
Though tears may be shed,
We see you as you go and know we are more for having had you with us.
Hail to the traveler as he goes!
We raise a glass to you. We cheer your deeds.
We remember and we see you.
Hail to the traveler as he goes, until we all meet again.
Hannah Blood (Nhadala)
I haven’t really had the words to express how sad I am to be losing a friend.
When I first joined the LARP community, Conrad was there. Not just as a character, but as a person. He helped me get started, taught me how to play, created backstory together (Nhadala and Garharz were childhood friends, both from the same small northern village, iykyk). He taught me how to run Blacksmith, which I ended up loving and became a huge part of my play style. He taught me how to make my own fun, and to have a big personality.
But outside of that he made sure I was welcome. He let me crash on his futon instead of camping in the woods. We ordered sushi and laughed about life. We talked about video games, board games, movies. We shared our relationship woes and truimphs. And we were always smiling and laughing, always rooting for each others success. Conrad brought honesty and true joy to those around him.
The last event I went to I was surprised to see Conrad there. We spent hours catching up, playing games, and generally heckling. It was as if no time had passed between our last visit, and it made my day so much more memorable.
Nhadala lost a childhood friend, and in reality it feels the same.
Cheers, Conrad - until we meet again.
Gerald Chartier (Gray)
Like a lot of people, I met Conrad Barnes at Realms. We bonded at a Folkestone Questing event during a big field battle, when he was operating a Mystic Forge and I was operating a Circle of Healing right next to each other.
Conrad was a delight to be around. He had an infectious enthusiasm and was always fun to banter with. He made things better just by his mere presence. In character or out, at an event or hanging out IRL, he made the people happy just by being around them.
I'm really going to miss you, Conrad.
Zach Senchuk (Loken)
I've been good friends with Conrad for nearly half my life. I have been with him through many of the later chapters of his life.
At Conrad's first event he was my backpack "caster" as we were both on Green for Green and Gold. Even back then he had his accent and story exactly where he wanted it. I used to bring my entire computer setup over to Rad's to have LAN weekends with him in his tiny, but cozy, apartment on the outskirts of Leb. We even spent a week living together after his second dislocation and subsequent surgery for his shoulder to make sure he had someone around to help take care of him. It was a week full of silver linings, bottomless tea, and as many microwavable meatballs as could fit in a single man's freezer.
I got to see his journey into the Realms community at large, and literally infect those around him with his joy. For those who had the pleasure to know the man behind the blacksmith, Conrad truly was one of the most positive people I have ever met. Even in the most sorrow of times he was a lighthouse out of the fog for those around him.
Over the years, as many of us do, we find and lose many connections. I consider myself fortunate to have been around to witness Conrad finding someone he deserved, for many reasons, but not least because she made him as happy as he made others. Gabby brought joy to this man in a way no one else ever did. The connect you two had was, is, and will continue to be so special.
I have always been moved by the strength of the Realms community and it's ability to support each other when we lose one of our members to tragedy. I find myself particularly moved this time because beyond what he did for us, he did for so many of you as well. I am not surprised by the number of stories that have come out to honor Conrad, but each one moves me as if it was the first I've read.
When I think of "camp" I think of home. A group of my closest friends, the smell of fire, good food and laughter as we tell stories through the night. The perceptive of you will have noticed, but Conrad was often the first face you saw when visiting us. This was no mistake. It is wise to put your best and most charismatic face to the front, and there was no confusion to who that was. I mourn my friend, I too however, mourn those new faces who might visit in the future who will never be gifted with a greeting from our favorite blacksmith, because they will not know what they are missing, and I will.
Grief and celebration for me are the same coin. I *know* what I am missing, but to the best of my ability, I choose to celebrate what I was given. I will never again be able to put my garb on again without thinking of Conrad. The drama of that statement is lofty and intentional, all the more powerful because it is true. Do not be confused however, this is no curse, but a generous gift. I will forever be reminded of these joys and more. Were we all to live our lives to such fullness I am certain the world would be better off for it.
In some ways this is Conrad's last chapter, but like all those before it, will continue to be told at our fire, will continue to bring us joy, and will continue to mean the world to me.
I will miss you Conrad, Thank you.
John Rescigno (Gordon)
Conrad was the first face you saw when you came to NA Camp. With a smile on his face, he would say hello, introduce himself, and make you feel welcome whether it was your first time or your hundredth coming to visit us.
I’m especially thankful for him being a welcoming friend for my wife when she came to the game and was nervous about being around all the new people. He made her and so many others comfortable in a highly in-character environment that was intimidating for many, including myself at first.
Being such an active player, Conrad was often the first NA member that people would meet, and we couldn’t have asked for a better person to give that first impression to the community.
To our Diplomat, Garharz.
I’ll see you on the other side of the Dark River one day my friend.
