My name is Sir Jean Baptise, let me tell you my routine.
I wake up every morning at 6:30 AM to the same nightmare. I feel sick, but I had ginger for dinner, so I held it in less not to accidentally purge myself of the sacred herb. I get up and lather myself with a bodywash of apple cider vinegar and 11 different herbs in spices. I place one sprig of organic herbs in my mouth to ensure my flesh remains tender and optimal on the secondary market. After fiddling with the shower door with my stump hand I pull my blood stained clothes out of a disinfectant mixture of grain alcohol and cheap, gamer body spray and hand it to dry. Still dripping, I then attend my quills and contemplate the next headache I can give Starblade.
There is a idea of Jean Baptise, some kind of abstract collection of unspent resources, but you may look into my empty eyes, talk to me, and even find our quest experiences somewhat similar. I truly, am not there.
Welcome to Rise of the Gi-Sistence, it’s a lot like a war tourney, except this time the war is actually real. Apologies for my lacklsiter grammar i am typing this with my only remaining hand and i gind the experience taxing to my patience. Why do mi have a hand missing. Dony worry bout that camp. Let us talk about
Gameplay
The gameplay is simple, see bapyise the clown, he will chear u up
But tara, the man cries, water flooding his sockrets, im baotise.
Everyone laughs, roll on snare drum, curtains
Otherwise, simple! Two armies, a red one, a blue one, locked in forbidden love, painting the map with each movement, tearing the lands apart like a broken household. Until they clash, and then, each pc pretends to be a multitude of 50-10000k npcs each with a fun power or skill. Some of those skills? Dying, dying alot, and eating the dead. And imbue.
Every battle a war tourney, the stakes, the armies themselves. Because after all, your armies dont come back, why would they? Its war.
People die, they die and die forever… or should, most likely they will exchange their second class citizenship for a third class eternity as a Chained Labor caste, tearing apart the conquered lands for copper wire to power their void batteries.
Its all very exciting, and im sure many people are very excited. Me? Im a bit put out of war, last time i commented on war, people got quite peeved at me, so instead i just sit outside and stare at them through the window.
Instead, let me introduce you to, the crimson path. Simply go outside, and sneakily (or boldly since no ones ever outside) collect the wooden intel token and you get a free story shard. What can story shards do?
Problems, lots of problems. Raise a army, raise a child, forge the true name of a dead god into a sword. Eat yucky candy so you dont have to later. (Unless you get sad) Or even, take a trapping and get a worse version of a spell everyone already has.
The power is yours.
Whats that? You want a story? You need a plot to get excited over?
One, It’s a war tourney no you dont. And two, okay you little scamp
Inhale
LONG AGO IN A ALIEN LAND A GOD TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND GOT EXTRA KILLED FOREVER FOR REALISES. HOWEVER A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLANET WITH VOID MAGIC SHOWED UP FOR FRIENDLY TRADE. SEVERAL SALTY FAILED TYRANTS ASKED THE VOID TRADERS IF VOID MAGIC COULD SAY… BRING THE DEAD BACK. AND THEY SAID “SURE I GUESS, IF YOU HAD LIKE, SOME CHILD TIED TO THE VOID, WHY” AND THEN THE TYRANTS KILLED THEM. ONE BUTCHERED CHILD AND A GAME OF DOUBLE JEOPARDY LATER AND GI IS NOW GROSS AND SHI-GI. BUT THSE WHO WANT MORE NEVER FIND MORE, THE GOAL POST ALWAYS MOVES. SO GI INVADED AND INVADES AND INVADES AND UNRAVELS THE PLANETS OF ALL THAT COULD’VE MATTERED IN EXISTENTIAL INDUSTRIALISM.
THEY TRIED TO DO THAT TO THE REALMS, THEY FAILED, NOW WE ARE INVADING BACK TO STOP THEM FROM TURNING OTHER PEOPLE INTO REALITY MINES.
Listen ive written the book on this 3 times, and this is the last event.
Now you might wonder, why make the LAST event a war tourney with numerous chances of defeat, what happens of we lose.
Darkvale happens, we just lose, and stay lost for years. Maybe we’d get to try again.
But we probably wont. So we better win now!
Maybe I can make a plague bomb…