By: Kathy "Makhta" Fey
What You Missed by not being there when Makhta was at Blackwood Tournaments
The first night, we assembled to investigate a portal of likely violence, and before we set out, a champion with a fancy champion belt came and said we had to hang our esteemed foes’ banners and consecrate the nearby fountain so that we could engage in glorious feats of tournament prowess with whoever was stashed beyond the portal.
Now, as soon as the champion revealed that we would consecrate the font with a vial of their blood, I was psyched but the squeamish blood-magic-fearing people bugged out, someone stole the banners off the walls, and it took us seriously half the night just to get going. You’d think a bunch of killers like us wouldn’t freak out at the sight of blood.
Anyway, we did get to fight a series of interesting and powerful foes with their minions, and some of them fell to axes and others when we wielded light (Orion was literally dripping green glow like a trail of bread crumbs), and the big final champion fight pitted our Cronin against a many-armed foe, to which he understandably fell.
So then our clever forces did some magic juju to get Cronin more arms, and I can still hear Ryu’s voice ringing over the mob chanting “Arms! Arms!” as the heroes themselves were transformed into Cronin’s new arms, which led to glorious victory.
Now, while all this was going on, some people got healed by the blood fountain, which apparently drained them by one drop each time, and kind of connected them, and then we found out that people who’d been healed that way a lot now have open wounds where the blood was drawn, that can’t be healed. So people like LukeJohn and Anton and I think Cronin and probably Skamos are oozing now. I never got healed myself, so I’m sure there are no lasting repercussions for me, after drinking like five cups of the stuff.
So anyway, the next day, there were a bunch of tourneys, some silly like fish slapping and snatch the wig, and many “serious” about fighting but not too serious, like Wil and Oliver’s truly epic showing in the great weapons battle.
I did the scavenger hunt, which had us collecting things’ homes and gems and friends and stuff. There was some weird stuff on that list but I bet Omri found it all.
I ambled my way through the kobold shoot house, which was technically timed but I took my sweet time re-confirming for myself that I am not a magic missileer. But hey, I didn’t kill the innocent captive, and I left with a snack, so fine by me.
Axe throwing (and knife throwing) was totally fun and after a bunch of after-the-tourney practice I got almost decent at sticking those axes so watch out people.
I did the ritual tourney too, since I’m a long-time sagely master of the arcane arts, where they gave you a bag of stuff and five minutes to work your magic. I did a ritual to try to help the people with the open wounds from the blood font, no idea if it worked.
Then after stuffing our faces with Hedda’s excellent food, we dove into a party atmosphere with laughing, drinking, music, gambling and party games!
For games, there was Nay, Poxy Knave, which I was terrible at, unless getting Zarine to join me in mocking our more knowledgeable contestants counts as less terrible.
And Dark Deeds, which I was terrible at, unless you count finding out how much more horrible people think you are than you really are counts as less terrible.
Anyway, the games were a riot, and possibly even more fun when you’re terrible at them.
I was not horrible at the reflex catching game, and I actually kicked butt at the matching-flipping game, but that was only because the Baron bet me a gold I couldn’t beat him, which I probably normally wouldn’t have but I was broke so I was motivated.
Meanwhile the bar was serving up very delicious drinks, and great company too, although the rumors ran in reverse a lot (we told the bartender what was going on…or what sounded good anyway).
There was also gambling happening, a whole tent’s-worth, and I don’t know what they were doing but there were green tables with cards and big piles of chips in front of people and those die-hards were basically in there all night!
After the party games, the firepit came alive with music for dancing, and I have to say a big thanks to Mel and Swoop and whoever else was responsible for getting that going because I hadn’t danced in forever and it was so fun I can’t even tell you.
The next day there were more tourneys but sadly I missed that action due to my affairs of state duties, but I didn’t hear that anyone was obliterated for all time so the day must have gone well.
Cheers to all those who tournied and partied among friends in Blackwood!