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Friday, September 2, 2022

What You Missed: 15th Annual Tournaments of Chaos

by Kelly "Fern" Perfetto


Zombie hunter tavern date, pirate ship first mate
Soul trap, death knight
Wield your friends unmatched
Long loud party night

We didn't start the chaos
It was always burning, since the world's been turning
We didn't start the chaos
That’s a lie, we did light it, didn’t fight it


Tournaments of Chaos was an absolutely fantastic event, filled with fun, food, friends, fighting, frolicking, and I’m sure other words beginning in F. The tournaments began promptly at who-the-heck-knows-when: Official Realms Time with a Chaos Ninja Battle, the first of many. After a celebratory Grand Melee, the main tournaments started.

There were some of the classics that I’ve come to expect from the few tourneys I’ve been to; various weapon styles matched up, spellcasters duking it out - though in many cases casters were able to toss aside their restrictions - and some smaller scale battles. The ones that stand out to me, however, were the most patently chaotic. The Lightning Bowl resulted in many scorching backstabs, if you can call them that, and the Voranians introducing many newbies to such skills as “hide in trees”.

My personal favorite tournament was the Illegal Weapons, where I got to wield the greatest weapon of all. Depending on who you ask, that weapon either goes by the name Mighty Margaret, or The Power of Friendship. We made it to the second round and were promptly taken out by Celtrex.

Other highlights of the day included much rolling of the die and the shenanigans that ensued. Most people I talked to seemed to have good luck with it, though I and other Chimeron adjacent folks were struck with an unfortunate Final Strike at one point.

As night rolled around, the tournament field was infested with undead of a less-than-friendly disposition, though they were quickly disposed of. Some of us spoke to a potential ally we met at Queen of Hearts this year, Angelique, who then apparently faded back into the night. The fun wasn’t over yet though, as the duck boat pirates who had disrupted the tourneys earlier in the day were back. I admit, I was near the back of the group for much of the fighting through the woods and rather… feral. However, once the trail opened up into a clearing, I was able to get a better view of the fighting. And boy, those pirates should’ve called a truce with us earlier in the day and participated in the tourneys, because they were the embodiment of chaos. I killed six of them in rapid succession and they then made me their first mate.

After our battle, all of the adventurers woke up around the fire, and I’m still not entirely sure what happened to the pirates. I’m sure they’ll be back to ineffectually challenge the interior of Sharangil some day. Bardics and performances were completed with an ever-impressive amount of skill. Then of course, the partying began. Though chaos abounded, I never witnessed any significant amount of disrespect between partiers, other than of course the great number of people who decided that King Cecil’s throne would be an excellent place to lounge for a few minutes. And good news, apparently no one fell in the creek!

Sunday was a little more subdued, for some odd and inexplicable reason, and with an equivalently difficult-to-pin-down start time as the day before. The tourneys consisted of mainly typical fare, though the chaos die weapon determined battles were amusing. 

It would take far too long to list all of the awards given out, but those who won the superlatives of the event were:

Honorable - Stewhart
Chaotic - Hygar
Helpful - Mogar
Shady - Adoros
Lawful - Aelias
Badass - Shandar, who was also the overall winner of the Tournament!

Overall, I had a fantastic time at the event, and I greatly enjoyed getting to know people outside of Chimeron, particularly some folks from Voraniss, Stonewood, and Arken. I think even my more ‘lawful’ friends had a great time, and I look forward to returning to Sharangil and to events hosted by Celtrex.