You’re asleep, and dreaming. A small gray leopard appears before you; its spots shimmer in bright magical colors. Like a sphinx, its head appears human. In this case, it looks remarkably like DaniDanger of Folkstone. Those untamable hazel curls in her hair are unmistakable. A warm, motherly voice giggles in your ear, then addresses the leopard-child creature.
“Explain in your own words, who you are…”
“My name is Danielle News-Reporter” replies the child.
“You’re a news reporter? And who are you news-reporting for?” the unseen voice asks.
The child pauses for a moment, confused. “I forgot their name…” she admits. The other voice gently provides the answer: “for the View from Valehaven”. The child nods, then continues.
“This is about Battle Pets. Battle Pets battle the bad guys’ bad Battle Pets.” The child points to a diagram, seemingly drawn by her own hand. The fact that this leopard-child has humanoid hands to go with her humanoid head does not surprise you. “They get a lot of hearts," she continues, “You get to name them. And they’ll be with you every time you need them, they’ll always be on your back!” The child smiles a toothy smile, pleased with her News-Reporting so far.
“Ok! Can you show me where your Battle Pet is?” the voice asks.
The child turns and prances off, quickly climbing atop a fluffy pink cloud. Perhaps this is her den? She digs around, muttering commentary to herself while she goes about her task. It appears she might have misplaced it.
“While you look for your Battle Pet, I got a question," prompts the voice, trying to retain some of the child’s attention, “How did you find your Battle Pet?” It is clear to you that the voice is asking about the original “finding”, as opposed to the “re-finding” which is currently in progress.
“It was in an egg.” states the child. Then she rolls over to face you and says “Well, I can’t find my Battle Pet. Well, I technically drawed my Battle Pet.” She holds up the diagram again, and directs your attention to a crudely drawn… something… in the middle of the page. The child is oblivious to the possibility that the elongated forms in the drawing would resemble anything inappropriate. Two small eyes and a whiskered nose give the rendition a cute little face, so you decide to accept the child’s explanation and banish any other meaning from your mind. “So that’s what my Battle Pet looks like, but I’m going to use a demonstrator.” The child presents a small tabby kitten.
The unseen voice is eager to continue. “Can you tell everybody what your Battle Pet’s name is?”
“Terry!”
“Terry, ok. And Terry is a what?”
“A seal!” Ah yes, of course. Now you see it. The drawing is clearly of a seal. Clearly. “She’s a water type!”
“A water type! What different types can you be?”
“Um… water, fire, earth, and air.” Suddenly the child turns to face you again. “Guess what!”
The voice replies with a well-practiced quip, “Chicken butt!”
The child smiles at the traditional phrase and continues with her story unimpeded. “There’s a fire dog in the house!”
“There’s a fire dog in our house?!” the voice knowingly exclaims. “Do you want to come down from your cloud and we’ll explain the next Battle Pet?”
The child agrees and the dream fades to black for a moment. When it returns, you find yourself at eye level with SavageSarah, DaniDanger’s younger sister. Her legs bear a slight resemblance to the leopard-child from before, but above the waist she appears humanoid. Her purple shirt and short blonde hair remind you of Rekees of Chimeron.
The unseen voice also returns. “Hiii SavageSarah” it coos.
SavageSarah responds by sticking her tongue out and waving a small puppy in her hand. “Woof woof!” she says, imitating the familiar. “Woof woof! Woof woof!”
“What’s that Sarah?” the voice asks.
“A dog!” she blurts out. “Woof!”
“What’s the dog’s name?”
“Um, Hattie!” she proclaims with a little bounce.
“Hattie! Can you show us Hattie’s collar?”
SavageSarah flips the dog around wordlessly. You catch a glimpse of the collar and make a mental note regarding the proper spelling of the animal’s name.
“Oooh, that’s very nice!” says the voice. “Is Hattie a Battle Pet?”
The child nods, seeming to use her entire body to perform the action.
“Did you get a Battle Pet at Creathorne?”
SavageSarah shakes her head thrice, then suddenly remembers the correct answer and nods.
“No? Yes? Did you get them from R--”
Dreaming-Leopard-Child-DaniDanger suddenly comes charging up from behind SavageSarah and proclaims “I’m a silly girl!” before running back out of your sight.
The voice chuckles and restarts the question. “Did you get them from Rhiassa Cub Care?”
SavageSarah stares over your shoulder for a moment before nodding so deeply that you can see the back of her head. She stumbles backwards slightly, as if thrown off balance by her own movement.
The voice continues, clearly trying to coax more information out of the child. “Do you remember anything about how you got the Battle Pet? Can you tell me?”
“Yes,” SavageSarah says, nodding less vigorously. She then proceeds to continue nodding for several more seconds, as if meaning to convey the tale through repetitive head motions alone. “Yes,” she says again, seeming to conclude her story.
“Wow, that’s impressive.” The voice laughs, acknowledging the futility of the current line of questioning. It tries a different approach. “Can you show me-- what can Hattie do? Go ahead, show me.”
SavageSarah seems to understand, as she stands up and places Hattie on the ground. A leash connects the dog to the child’s hand. The animal starts to trot around in little circles when DaniDanger comes stomping back. “I wanna take your Hattie! Ahhhh! Hehe!”
“Nooo…” the voice chides with a chuckle. “You’re not going to take Hattie.” You turn to look at DaniDanger as the voice wonders aloud, “You found a wolf, but where’s your seal?” It appears that DaniDanger has also conjured a large ball of magical blue energy in her other hand.
The leopard-girl smiles suspiciously, then runs in place. In lieu of an actual response, she says “Ahhhh! Let’s battle!”
“Are you trying to be the Team Shadow person?” the voice asks. DaniDanger nods knowingly.
The voice takes advantage of the older sister’s more talkative nature and continues to ask questions. “Do you remember battling Team Shadow?”
“Yep” comes DaniDanger's response as she continues to run in place.
“What was it like?”
The leopard-child stops running to think about what she wants to say. “Guess what, the people that were them said no, we saw some people running but we don’t know them.” She bounces the ball of magical energy off the ground. It gets away from her, and she chases after it. With her focus split between speaking and chasing, the logic of her words gets lost and you have trouble understanding her. She is, after all, still a child. “Yeah! That’s their evil twin! But we know who they are! ‘Cause we saw… dub... And some of them had to wear sash-saw-es, so we could recognize them.”
“Oh, ok” says the Voice, apparently understanding what the child had said. “Do you remember who Team Shadow had for pets?”
SavageSarah pipes up helpfully from your feet. “Yes!”
“What did they have?” the voice asks the sisters.
DaniDanger answers again. “They had a lobster, a bull, and a spider.”
“A lobster and a bull and a spider? Wow, very New-England.” the voice comments. ‘What’s an England, and why is it new?’ you wonder. Your query goes unanswered. It doesn’t matter.
DaniDanger tosses the magic energy around again, and the voice continues. “Was it a lobster or a scorpion?”
“Scorpion, I think,” says DaniDanger, chasing the energy ball some more.
“They’re like almost the same, right?” prompts the voice.
The leopard-child takes a moment to collect herself, having caught up to her ball again. She responds with a “Yeah.”
The voice chuckles again at the young girl’s response. You look back down at SavageSarah, who seems to have little understanding of the current conversation.
DaniDanger resumes her impression of a Team Shadow person. “But I wanna take your Battle Pet! A-ha-ha! With battle!”
“Alright, how do we battle, girls?” asks the voice, rolling with the change in subject.
“We use cards!” DaniDanger explains excitedly. “My card goes here. And we get heart! I have one hundred hearts!” She is bouncing up and down with her magic ball and demonstration wolf.
“You have one hundred hearts? How many--” starts the unseen voice.
SavageSarah regains her understanding and jumps back into the discussion by saying “Me too!”
“You too? How many hearts does Hattie have?” the voice prompts.
“One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten!” the younger child counts in one breath. Then she pauses to refill her lungs. “‘LEVEN!!” she screams.
“Alright, that’s a lot of hearts. Can you hold up Hattie for me one more time?”
SavageSarah bends over to pick up her Battle Pet as DaniDanger shouts what sounds like a battle cry. She charges at her sister with a “Yaaaahhh!” and they both run off around the trunk of a tree. Your vision fades again.
You’re back at eye level with SavageSarah, although this time she appears to be sitting on the lap of Iawen Penn of Eagle’s Rook. DaniDanger is perched nearby. The drow knight has often been seen wrangling these two small children, so you aren’t surprised to see her here now in your dream.
“Ok Sarah,” she says, “What are you trying to show people?”
SavageSarah opens her mouth, and a sound which vaguely resembles a word comes out. She tries to show you something, but she’s holding it just outside of your field of view. This is not a lucid dream, so you don’t have control over where you are looking.
“No, that’s not it, I flipped it for you.” Iawen says to the child. “What are you trying to show people?” she asks again.
SavageSarah moves her arm, and you can see that she is holding something in the shape of a playing card. It has a blue vortex on it. She flips it around in her hand, and the other side is yellow and brown. There appears to be a picture on one half of the card, but you don’t recognize it.
“Yes, is that what you think Battle Pets are like?” prompts the drow. SavageSarah holds the card in front of her face, but says nothing. “Yeah? Does Dani have a lot of these?” The child still does not respond. “Are Battle Pets also like Yo-sai? Or Yo-say?” Iawen turns and seems to address you directly for a moment. “I’m never going to remember how to pronounce that…”
SavageSarah finally responds. “Yeah!” That’s all she has to say.
Iawen turns her attention back to the girl on her lap. “Yes? So can you play with them not only in Rhiassa, you can play with them in Teng Hua?”
“Waaah” SavageSarah says in a way of response.
“Can you say Teng Hua?”
“Teng-waaah”
“Alright! Alright, let’s flip it to Dani” Iawen says as you turn to look at DaniDanger.
“Hello! It’s Dani New-Reporter Dani time to move your booty!” sings the dreaming-leopard-child. She’s holding a new diagram. There are lots of seals on it. Thankfully, this time she did not draw the seals with such long bodies.
“Alright, explain the Battle Pets drawing you made.”
“Um, so this is how, to scale… wait, is this upside-down?” She pulls the diagram back to check its orientation.
“I dunno, you tell me.” Iawen says.
DaniDanger finds that she is holding her drawing correctly. “So this is the scale of how my ratings of my seal, which he made. So you know he didn’t like fire,” she points to one of the seals on her drawing, and then another. “Earth… air… and wind.”
“Mm-hm, but what about the one with the fish?” Iawen interjects, pointing to the last seal on the drawing.
“He loves that.” DaniDanger says. “He’s water, which can always be what’s--” she tosses the drawing aside and changes the subject mid-sentence. “It’s time… it’s time to get real!” she sings.
“Your seal is time to get real?” Iawen asks the child. “How about you find your seal first?”
“Ok!” DaniDanger stands up and dances away, singing a tune.
Your attention turns back to the drow and she looks directly at you again. “So I think--”
SavageSarah lunges towards Iawen. “Hiiii I’m Dini and I’m…” she starts off imitating her older sister, but her words devolve into mouth-sounds again. The younger child hides her face behind the discarded drawing and Iawen laughs. “I think, the overwhelming response here is: What did you miss? You missed Battle Pets! And at least my kids, they had a lot of fun, even if they can’t explain all that they had fun with. Peace!”
The dream begins to fade for the final time, and you hear DaniDanger issue another battle cry from far off. Iawen glances in that direction, then looks back at you with a panicked face as you hear the leopard-child charge. The last thing you see is the drow’s face break into a loving smile as the child tackles her.
Original performance by Janna "Iawen Penn", Danielle "DaniDanger", and Sarah "SavageSarah" Oakfellow-Pushee. Transcription by Ryan "Orion" Welch.