Thursday, June 4, 2020

View of the Vanfrost - Episode 2

by Joey "Ruthade" Chipman

Echoes of Ragnarok: The Vanfrost Paralogues: Svartalheim?
A Report by Ruthade

Commander Cronin, I hope this missive finds you well while you tend to matters around Kenkilit. I apologize for my abrupt absence the other day, but Thoril had been gathering adventurers to join him on a journey through the Vanfrost, a portal which would lead to the various domains connected to Norlund. Intrigued by the prospect of seeing how Norlund was fairing after we… made new gods, I decided to join Thoril on this adventure, as did Elowen. Thoril had also gathered John Baptiste, Tuilli, and Varrmagn to join us. Unfortunately, Varrmagn had far more important matters to attend to, but the “Rainbow Ruffians” could most likely handle whatever the Echoes of Ragnarok could throw at us.

After meeting with Ulric in Rhiassa, he directed us toward the Vanfrost, which we Ruffians crossed. Before we even had a chance to check our surroundings on the other side, we were beset by a squad of six or seven Dark Elves! On the upside, Thoril, Elowen, and Baptiste could rush in to deal with them quickly. Even Tuilli took down at least one of them with a Magic Missile, though I flubbed my shot. However, once battle began, I couldn’t help but feel a bit more restricted than usual. My imagination, perhaps?



With this wave of Drow downed, we finally had a chance to check our surroundings. Stone everywhere, much of it just stone, but with what appeared to be doorways carved directly into the cliffs and several rocks spilling out from the doorways. Traveling a bit ahead, the stone on the ground was also carved into tiling. A legitimate door stood before us, just one, rather than a set. Before we could investigate this door further, though, Baptiste had wandered off to the side, where he provoked an Earth Dragon!



The dragon rushed forward and chomped at Baptiste, knocking him down. Elowen was able to wound this dragon, but it took a double dose of Lightning Bolts between Tuilli and I to burn down that beast! As Tuilli revived Baptiste, Thoril, Elowen, and I serached through a pile of bones this dragon was guarding (Dark Elf and Dwarf, from the looks of them) until we pulled an old key from the pile.
Back at the single door, we investigated more closely to find a keyhole. There was only one door to what should’ve been a set, though, and where the other door was, some of us probably could’ve squeezed by. However, Tuilli did not seem up to doing anything as laborious as climbing through rubble tonight. Besides, as Thoril claimed, “We fought a dragon to get this key; we might as well use it.” One gently curving corridor later, Thoril, Elowen, and Tuilli provoked a smaller band of Dark Elves guarding another set of doors. Baptiste and I lagged a bit behind, but the Rainbow Ruffians managed to fell this group, too.

Walking through the doors these Dark Elves guarded, we entered a large, round, domed room. The center of this room was sealed off by a force field, but there were alcoves around the room, each containing a lever and two blank bronze plates. Another bronze plate was in a corner of the room far from the doors we entered, seemingly torn off the wall but too heavy to move, and there was one final plate near a set of locked doors to the south of the room. I tried to rub down the fallen plate with some paper and a pencil, but nothing appeared. As I investigated this plate, the others stepped into separate alcoves and simultaneously pulled the levers.




Pulling the levers finally made SOMETHING appear on these bronze plates. An S-shaped curve with various vines, fins, and other shapes appeared on the torn-off plate. This plate also had a single white scratch on the bottom. Once the others the pulled the levers, however, a force field appeared in the doorways, trapping the others in their alcoves! I rushed over to the southern hall of the room and looked at the plate there, which bore another shape with a similar structure to the one in the corner but was incomplete. It also showed ten white scratches on the bottom. There was a mysterious stylus accompanying the southern plate, so I picked up the stylus and tried to finish the shape I had seen in the upper corner. This didn’t accomplish anything, though.

Around this time, the other Ruffians started shouting how they were seeing marks on the plates in their alcoves, too. Sketchbook in hand, I rushed around to the others to see what shapes appeared to them and jotted them down. All of the shapes we saw had a similar S-curve to them, but the top and bottom of that curve differed for each, and various shapes and fins appeared at the bends of the S. Each of their plates was labeled with a different number of white scratches at the bottom, and we soon realized our goal. The top, left, right, and bottom of each S cycled through different patterns in Shapes 1 through 9, and we needed to finish the Shape for the 10-scratch plate. After figuring out the patterns, I finally drew the needed Shape, and the others were freed from their alcoves. Coordinated efforts take a while in the Realms, but this was honestly one of the smoothest I’ve dealt with (heh heh heh).

That relief didn’t last, though, for the 10-scratch plate also unlocked the doors near it, and past those doors, we were met with four “Golems” (animated suits of armor, in this case). Elowen made the first strike, but it appeared to do no damage to that Golem. John Baptiste rushed by some Golems and noticed there were runes engraved on them, seemingly powering them. With Baptiste’s descriptions of these runes, I looked them up to find they matched with the common characters for “F”, “A”, “L”, and “N”, though Elowen seemed to recognize them more easily. Elowen had fallen at one point, but Tuilli was able to riase her, while I attempted to strike a Missile at one of the Golems. Still, no blade, no bolt, no tiny bundle of magic could make even a dent in these Golems, and we were trying all we could on all four of them.

Meanwhile, Thoril slipped into the far east corner of the room and found a similar Golem buried face-down under some rubble. After making his way over to Thoril, Baptiste cleared the rubble away and found a button on the back of the fallen Golem’s neck. …which Thoril immediately pressed. …which reawakened this fifth Golem.

Someone condemned this reaction with a now-famous quote: “Goddammit, Thoril”. The condemnation was a bit premature, though, as this Golem also bore its own rune, matching the common character “I”. Elowen finally figured out the five Golems spelled the word “FINAL”, so we begin to dismantle the Golems in order.



Deactivating these Golems opened two more rooms in the back of this one, each bearing a chain. Thoril and I took the west chain, Elowen and Baptiste the east. We try to yank on them, but I honestly couldn’t contribute as much as I hoped. But Elowen and Thoril eventually pulled just the right way, and pulling these chains FINALLY brought down the force field protecting the center of the main domed chamber.

Here, we found four round stonelike plates marked with rings, two in the north, and two in the south. Beside each set of plates was a chest containing clusters of colored orbs attached to each other. Each plate would only accept clusters that looked similar to the colored rings engraved on them; otherwise, they just kind of rolled off these plates. The plates acted much like measuring scales, and with just what was shown on the scales, one side was weighed heavier than the other. While Elowen and I tried to figure out the southern scales, John Baptiste quickly balanced them; we didn’t need all of these clusters, but we did need the same number of each color orb on each side. Baptiste then joined Tuilli and Thoril on the northern scales to figure out how to balance them. I’m impressed Baptiste reasoned this out so quickly.



One other feature about this room I neglected to mention: at the center of the center of the room was a locked fliptop door. It would not budge before, but once both sets of scales were balanced, this fliptop flipped up, and we found…

…an acorn? A giant acorn? Unusual, but after picking up this giant acorn, the Vanfrost opened up once more, and we were able to return home after a surprisingly involved adventure.

I will confess, I am not intimately familiar with the ins and outs of every world affected by Ragnarok. We both know Helheim is the land of the dead, and I’ve heard Niflheim is icy, while Muspellheim is fiery. Where I get hazy is Svartalfheim versus Jotunheim. After consulting with the other Rainbow Ruffians, and judging by the Dwarf bones, endless stone and beautiful stone architecture, it seems like we stumbled into Svartalfheim.

I do have questions about this adventure, though. If this was Svartalfheim, where were the Dwarves? And what significance does this acorn hold? I’ve heard the worlds of Norlund could be held together by a tree, so does THAT have something to do with it? Also, what are we going to do with this acorn?

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Why I Want To Go - RealmsCraft Questing 1

By Matt "Alexander Cecil" Brenner

God, do I miss questing. I miss it so bad. Do you know what I miss more than questing? Good questing. Awesome questing. Questing that makes you think. Questing with my friends.

We still can't go questing with our friends in the real world, but Pat and Ryan^2 have found a great way to scratch that itch. Now we can go Minecraft questing with our friends! Is it going to be just like a Realms quest? Probably not. It is going to be fun time thrown by two highly accomplished Realms EHs and three people who are great at designing Minecraft challenges? Absolutely.

I don't have all the details yet, because I am going to play though this just like you. I do know, however that they have been busy not only building their quest, but hacking Minecraft to be as Realms-like as possible. I can't wait to see what they have in store for us. You should join in the fun!

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Boff Brawl Semi-Final Match 3

The Winner of the first championship semi-final match was: Tao with Samurai Jack!
The Winner of the second championship semi-final match was: Saka with Korra!

Now here is a brutal looking lineup for match 3!



Player 1 - Trent. Character, Leonardo.
Strategy: 
Leonardo would first attempt to get She-Ra and Zuko on board with taking out Skeletor first. As a Skeletor victory would have serious ramifications to the Universe as a whole. He would then confer with Master Splinter on the tactics to use against the remaining competitors, fighting honorably. Relying on Donatello to keep Raphael and Michelangelo from a repeat of their dishonorable performance in round one.



Player 2 - Gordon. Character, Zuko.
Strategy: 
Macro strategy: Zuko is an honorable fighter, and I would direct him to take either a 1v1 or a 2v2 in this scenario. I will use the fact that She-Ra and Skeletor are naturally predisposed to fight one another to either ally with Gwen or to separate myself from their fight completely and go toe-to-toe with Leonardo.

Micro: Leonardo and Zuko both fight Florentine, which will lead to an even match of skill between the two, tilted in favor of Zuko as he approaches due to his firebending. Leonardo lacks any arcane skills, and is accustomed to fighting as part of a team, whereas Zuko has had to fend for himself.
I now either have to fight Skeletor or She-Ra...

Against Skeletor, I think the best strategy would be to kite him and frustrate him. Zuko has heard every insult to the point where nothing fazes him, but Skeletor’s temper is legendary. Eventually, he will try to shoot lightning from his hands, overconfident and frustrated, and Zuko’s ability to redirect that lightning will be the key to victory.


Looking back to Gwen’s Quarterfinal match, she already defeated a Zuko by using the versatility of the Sword of Protection! If she opts for a long weapon using its transformation power, then I will keep her at range using firebending until the Honor of Grayskull compels her to match weapon styles, and then we have a legendary and clean fight!



Player 3 - Kyro. Character, Skeletor.
Strategy: 
Skeletor's main tool for this battle would be his ability to hypnotize foes and control their every action. If someone happens to be able to reflect his hypnotize, he could reflect it back. If this leads to an infinite loop, Skeletor would teleport away and move on to the next step.

Given Skeletor's mastery of teleportation, I would have him first focus on teleporting away from any combat and moving me to a safe location. Once he is in a safe spot and all of the Champions are fighting each other, I would have him teleport in and hypnotize the players.

Anyone who hasn't command their champion to defend them would be easy prey.
He would tell the players to command their champions to ignore him and focus on the other enemies. While the champions ignore him, Skeletor would attempt to hypnotize them.
If Skeletor manages to hypnotize everyone, goto Operation Half-Decent Underlings.

If he managed to hypnotize any champions, he would command them to fight the other non-hypnotize champions. Even if they don't happen to win a fight, they would be the perfect distractions while Skeletor works his magic.

If She-Ra wasn't hypnotized, she would be Skeletor's first target. While She-Ra was busy fighting other Champions, Skeletor would take his time to line up a shot on the gem at the hilt of her sword.
Once the gem is damaged, she would lose the powers granted to her by Grayskull. She would turn back into Princess Adora and would be susceptible to Skeletor’s hypnotism. Once hypnotized, Skeletor would command Princess Adora to protect him and heal him if anyone managed to injure him.

Next, I’d tell Skeletor to make two pizzas.

We would both share the first pizza, so that we are not hungry and tempted to eat the second pizza. Skeletor would then collect some bitter almonds, extract their cyanide, and add it to the second pizza. Skeletor would deliver the pizza to the battlefield while disguised. No one could resist a slice of the pizza, especially not Leonardo.

Now, I know what you're thinking.
You monsters, you killed Leonardo!!!
Don't worry; he's a red-eared slider turtle.
The cyanide would incapacitate him, but it wouldn't actually kill him. Leonardo's species has a secondary method for producing ATP and can survive for weeks without oxygen.

Essentially, he would be stuck in a state of hibernation for a few hours while the cyanide is metabolized. Skeletor would take the opportunity to hypnotize him while he is unable to defend himself.

Lastly, Skeletor would head to the nearest grave site and reanimate some human bones.
Skeletor is able to reanimate dinosaurs, so I think he could handle a few human skeletons.
Knowing that Zuko can't reach blue flame temperatures with his firebending, these skeletons would be mostly immune to his fire.

It would take Zuko an hour or two of constant attention to calcify and destroy their bones.
Eventually the repeated punches and bites would take Zuko down.
If he managed to defeat a wave of skeletons, Skeletor would just summon another set.
Once he was knocked out, Skeletor would then freeze him into a large block of ice.
The moment he begins to wake up, Skeletor would hypnotize him.

With all of the champions is under his control, Skeletor would hypnotize the remaining players and move on to Operation Half-Decent Underlings.

Operation Half-Decent Underlings:
All combat is over.
I guess I win this round, but that doesn't really matter anymore.
We would all take a moment to fix up our weapons, heal wounds, and raise anyone who died.
Skeletor would then create a portal to Snake Mountain and we would all join him to plan an assault on Castle Grayskull.

Our first strike would involve the players and all of Skeletor old crappy minions.
Each player would take the charge of a siege of one of Eternia's cities.
If He-man or any of his kin go to fight us, they won’t be at home to defend Grayskull; otherwise, this just serves as a means to keep all of the terrible minions busy.

Skeletor and the champions would then attack Castle Grayskull.
With some decent minions, Skeletor would easily take over the castle.

He would finally have access to the secrets of Grayskull.



Player 4 - Gwen. Character, She-ra.
Strategy: 

Okay, another tough fight ahead of us here with a lot of worthy combatants. But She-ra is smart and adaptable and has the tools to deal with each of them by changing her Sword of Protection into different weapons.

When facing off against Leonardo she would morph her sword into a pike and use her range to keep his florentine style back, not allowing him to advance on her while she slowly whittles him down with a fury of blows.

When toe to toe against Zuko she would transform the sword into a massive shield and rush in on him  deflecting any fire that he throws at her. Once in range she would bash him with the shield to knock him prone and then finish him off with her fists!

Skeletor is a tough and legendary advisory to all of the Masters of the Universe and She-ra certainly understands what a danger he is to all of Eternia and even Etheria. She knows his powers well and is smart enough to not get in range of his hypnotism or his lightning. She would transform her sword into a bow and rain arrows down upon him giving him no chance to ready a counterattack. When she has the opportunity to deliver a final strike she would transform the Sword of Protection into it's flame sword form and blast him with it.

Monday, June 1, 2020

Meme Monday

by the Meme Team


Friday, May 29, 2020

Home Questing: Task 10

by Christopher "Janus" Donnelly




Here is the form to submit your bawdy limerick: https://forms.gle/J3VBZDtG2bhgvZy28

If you would prefer to send it to me directly rather than uploading to youtube or some other image hosting site, please email it to techiemikey@gmail.com.

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[Transcript]

Hi all, Janus here and welcome to Home Questing: The Tenth Task.  We’re going to start to mix up the format a little bit going on from here on out.  So I just wanted to give you a heads up on that.  From now on, every week we will either have a new video or the judging results of a previous challenge.  Now let’s get on to this week’s task.

This week, I am challenging you to make a Bawdy limerick.  The cleanest Bawdy limerick wins.  And we are looking for passing for clean, not actually clean.  You have until Friday at noon, which is going to be the new deadline, and your time starts now.

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Thursday, May 28, 2020

Boff Brawl Semi-Final Match 2

The Winner of the first championship semi-final match was: Tao with Samurai Jack!

Now here is the much anticipated match 2!


Player 1 - Saka. Character, Korra.
Strategy: 
"Alright, first up, I've prepared a run-down of Korra's seriously broken capabilities for the uninitiated. If you're familiar with ATLA/LoK canon you can skip the next two paragraphs, and to everyone else bringing the objectively most overpowered fighter on this roster to their fights: You're welcome.

Korra has precise and devastatingly powerful control of large and small quantities of metal, water, ice, steam, fire, rock, earth, mud, and air for a couple hundred feet or more in all directions. She can condense water from the air, and generate and dissipate blasts of fire at will, including from her breath when physically restrained. She's spent a decade and a half dedicated to nonstop martial arts training with the greatest practitioners in her world, including Aang's own waterbending teacher and wife, Katara and their airbender son Tenzin, until her masters judged that they had anything left to teach Korra. Also from Katara comes the useful ability to quickly heal traumatic injuries with waterbending. Mastery of acrobatics, able to propel herself through the air at will using any of the elements, and has the reflexes necessary to weave, deflect, and literally punch her way through barrages of projectiles. Korra's been simultaneously shocked by two cattle prods and come up swinging. She has sufficient strength to steadily lift and hold a average-sized grown man in front of her just with a single arm, and to throw a 200-300 pound man into a bank of metal pipes with enough force to break the pipes open (in both cases, this was unaided by her bending). Almost all of these strengths and skills are far above and beyond what her predecessor, Aang, is capable of. (That crucial detail will be relevant later on.)

So that's her physical prowess. Mentally, Korra fights with both unparalleled righteous passion and collected tactical instinct. Having trained since the age of 4 as the arbiter of peace and source of supreme spiritual and physical power of an entire magical world, she has become adept at processing information quickly and adapting to new situations on the fly. She has faced and overcome familial betrayal, the vitriol of modern politics and media attention, PTSD from countless traumatic experiences, and the consequences of plenty of mistakes. She has gone into fights against foes with unknown skills, weapons, and powers, and taken their abilities in stride as they are revealed. Examples of this including unarmed combat against the first use of electricity in a melee weapon in her world, resisting the control of a person who could psychically manipulate the blood in her body, projecting a 500-foot tall physical hologram of herself to fight, defeat, and purify the literal force of darkness and chaos in her world, and deflecting the energy of a nuclear warhead detonating a couple feet in in front of her to protect herself and another person. She and that person walked away unscathed, but the crater around them was half a mile wide. All but the last of those examples were accomplished without even using her Avatar State power boost.

This will, of course, still be a tough fight, because I'm assuming we're going for combat game/cartoon-style incapacitation here, not actual lethality. (Though this is the Realms, so if we're good with no-consequences lethality, then this fight can be summed up with 4 words: "You can't breathe rocks." None of the other three combatants are strong enough to resist Korra's earthbending, and burying them would only take 1-2 seconds. Aang might try to escape, but wouldn't be able to avoid Korra long enough to tire her out.) Even holding herself in check to avoid killing her opponents, Korra's immense power, dexterity, versatility, ferocity, and strength of will are unmatched. Conveniently, she has decades of experience defeating people and entities significantly weaker than she is without doing any permanent damage.

There are three ways this can go. Aang forfeits and Korra wins, she and Aang put off their inevitable concluding duel and face the other combatants first, or they duke it out from the start. Though Malaki with Aang may try to take advantage of the opening, I think it's most important that Korra immediately strips She-Ra and Lion-O of their metallic weapons, artifacts, and armor so they can't access any of the powers anchored within and try anything sneaky while Korra focuses on her real opponent. Neither target has anything in their skill sets or arsenals to avoid or defend against metalbending, so it's going to happen. Sorry Aeston, swords mean nothing here.

Take a second to shove the resulting hunk of metal a hundred feet underground, a couple more to imprison She-Ra and Lion-O inside 20 feet of solid rock, and less than 5 seconds into the fight it's already down to Korra and Aang.

Aang is a child. While he is capable of great wisdom and feats of bending prowess, has mastered the four elements, is light on his feet, and can also access the Avatar State, he is small, immature, and has only had a year or less of experience with 3 of his 4 elements. Korra's mastery of water-, earth-, and firebending all handily outstrip Aang's, and her airbending is comparable though admittedly less finessed. Hand to hand, she can match if not surpass his maneuverability and dramatically outclasses him physically. Even ignoring her greater skill, larger depth of experience, and raw bending power, Korra's competitive spirit and fiery passion gives her a huge advantage over Aang's aversion to conflict. When it comes down to combatants of comparable skill going toe-to-toe in a protracted fight, the one with the most grit wins out. This goes double for benders using the same element(s), since their bending is an extension of their personality and state of mind. It might actually take Korra a little while to wear Aang down, and she'll need to watch out for Aang's creativity mixed with Malaki's cunning. She'll fight with caution and dogged persistence, maintaining high ground and distance but prepared to dominate in close-quarters if necessary. This fight would be incredibly destructive and range over a wide area. But Korra is able to maintain a relentless barrage of attacks for minutes without letting up. All Aang will be able to do is deflect, run, and delay the inevitable. The best offense he'll be able to manage is blind backward pot-shots with whatever elements he has within immediate reach. Surrounding himself in rocks and catching his breath isn't an option: Korra is a better earthbender. Taking away Korra's bending isn't an option: Korra is a more experienced energybender and a larger, stronger, more resilient, and more competent hand-to-hand combatant. Aang will inevitably tire and fall to his reincarnation. She is a force of nature unlike any their world has ever seen.


This will get interesting once we have multiple Korras in a fight."


Player 2 - Malaki. Character, Aang.
Strategy: 
Hands down this is going to be a tough battle. I would use Aang's high speed and great defense to maintain distance at first. By keeping distance we can make the swords less effective.

While they both have special powers, swords are a tool that need to be wielded to be effective. We would try and disarm She-ra and Lion-o with various bending techniques and then incapacitate them in a stone prison with earth bending.

Korra is a dangerous opponent with many of the same skills... many but not all. Ultimately, she doesn't have the same hate driving her that Osai did, but she is often just as rash. After getting her to act recklessly, we would try to get close and do some energy bending to take away her bending.

Now, Avender has a pack mentality at times, and if he calls in the Thundercats for back up, Team Avatar would roll in, and we would fully utilize Zuko, Toph, Katara, and Sokka. Oh snap! Guess which team has a sword now??? Not to mention a boomerang ; )

Calling in Team Avatar would be a last resort, and only if other combatants did it.


"How one wins is just as important as winning." - Uncle Iroh said this from the sidelines.

Player 3 - Avendar. Character, Lion-o.
Strategy: 
My strategy against Malaki with Ang and Saka with Kora will be the same. They are each steady and rational thinkers, so my overall strategy is to hit them from many angles to keep them off balance while my bruisers move in to finish them. First I use the Sword of Omens to summon the Thundercats to the fight. I tell Cheetara, Wiley Kit and Kat to harry them while Panthro uses the thunder tanks a direct assault. Meanwhile I use the sword of omens to discover they're greatest fear and then have Tigra telepathically attack they're mind with that fear. Then I have Lion-o join the fray. While these are each strong opponents I believe that when attacked on all side as well as the mind they will fall.

Against Elizah and She-ra I would also begin by summoning the Thundercats with the Sword of Omens. Wiley Kit and Kat will use there explosive balls and bolo's to disorient swift wind while the rest of the team attacks She-ra. Lion-o and Panthro try wear her down and disarm her. Tigra uses his whip to lash her sword arm. If Lion-o gets in trouble Cheetara can whisk him to safety so he can recover and rejoin the fight. The main goal of the team is to disarm her from the Sword of Power,  once that happens it's Cheetara's job to scoop it up and run. Without the sword She-ra will soon fall.

Player 4 - Elizah. Character, She-ra.
Strategy: 
This is a tough one! While going up against those who have the ability to bend all elements seems merely impossible if anyone could handle the challenge it'd be She-ra. I'll reiterate "super-human strength, enhanced speed & reflexes, and near-invulnerability" along with healing, telepathy with animals, and her incredible chief weapon The Sword of Protection. Oh yeah, and her handy companion Swift-Wind.

There's a lot to consider here but I think my strategy for Korra and Lion-o would shift slightly because I believe that Korra and Lion-o share a similar weakness in which they both tend to make rash decisions and act in haste and anger. Knowing that I'd wait for the right moment to strike keeping a healthy distance away but wielding The Sword of Protection to transform into whatever would be needed should anyone attempt to sneak up on me. I'd also likely have Swift-Wind in seeing range to alert me if danger was near.

For Aang I think moving in strategically and closing distance as soon as possible would be the best option as I'm confident in She-Ra's ability to strike him down and also defend herself from any elements he tries to throw at her using her Sword of Protection. (Protection is literally in the name!)


Similarly to last time, if at any point she was overwhelmed she would call in Swift-Wind, fly off, heal and return to the battle.