View From Valehaven
Friday, July 10, 2026
Why I Want To Go - Exotic Items, Creatures, and Wares 6
Thursday, July 9, 2026
Overheard at Pressure Point 4
Without context or attribution, here are some quotes heard at Pressure Point 4 this past weekend:
"We're going ham wild"
"Just unhinge your jaw like a snake"
"What's the fantasy equivalent of a barn? Isn't that just a barn?"
"Thank you to the chorus of men for educating me about esophagus size."
"Do the Irish know about this?"
"Why does he have a bag of concrete?"
"We're just talking about two birds!"
"I really could use a carrot about now."
"You were too kind to us, our team doesn't do well with praise!"
"Where does the mouth anus go?"
"It's like vanilla pudding but more ocean-y"
"Why is everything out here sticky?"
"They turned it into a sexual thing and it really made them focus."
"Everything here is thick and dry."
"I will kick a marshal."
"It really puts the jerk in jerky."
"Can't keep a good rock down."
"If you hand me a cucumber I'll turn it into a pickle."
"That doesn't exist."
"Rage through it!"
"We might have to hard jerk it."
"Are you also done raw dogging it?"
"What are your pronouns, I want to murder you."
"I will tackle you on concrete."
"I'll give you the kinky ones, Jack."
Wednesday, July 8, 2026
What You Missed - Pressure Point 4
Organized by: Kyle Yazinka
By: Nataliya "Shader" Kostenko
My hands still kinda hurt writing this because this past weekend was Pressure Point! It was so much fun to trauma-bond with the squad, and I highly recommend future iterations of this event to anyone and everyone looking to really ignite their Realms spark and get hype about pushing themselves alongside the rest of the community.
Here’s a summary of what went down from my perspective. First, there was the captain’s competition. We got to eat some really dry “food”--except the blessed irish-jamaican-vanilla-AI-generated-or-whatever-the-fuck sea moss drink. That was 10/10, refreshing. We also jumped around in bags clearly made for children, solved metal puzzles, threw heavy stuff, and memorized colored pieces of paper. Luckily I excel at eating weird shit, naming primary colors, and jumping around as a toddler would, so I prevailed and got the honor of being captain alongside Jack and Hedda.
For my intrepid team–Forbidden Blueberry–I selected Temorse, Ryu, Kara, Companion, Ham, and Saegan Jr., the rock. This was Ham’s first time adventuring in the Realms: the absolute maniac. We were also assigned Mommy Saegen, who went above and beyond as a Team Mom in every capacity! Each of my team members proved invaluable to our squad and pushed themselves to their limits with all their contributions. For a highlight reel, we lugged heavy stuff around and identified ancient pictures of Realmsies past (I still can’t believe that was Trent), crawled through webs rapidly (some of us were dropped, but that’s okay, I forgive), made beautiful matching blueberry belt favors, lost spectacularly at tug of war (but defended Saegan Jr.!), scored some goals, cooked some riceballs, built a giant tower, made our way blindly through a maze, wept over cursed sudoku at 4AM, put on an avant-garde performance, scavenged, climbed, pushed up, sat up, squatted, and everything in between.
Ryu was our dominating assassin, the fastest fire-starter in the West, and our overall MVP; Kara was our excellent mage and healer, Saegan Jr.’s most caring babysitter, and the most spirited player with the most uplifting attitude; Temorse was the brains and wisdom of our operation who dominated the trivia portion so thoroughly that even the event photos look like he’s a professor delivering a lecture on Realms geography to the rest of our team; Companion was our master engineer and crafter, who’s so good she can build a perfect sword blindfolded and raise a paper tower (angled) to the heavens; and Ham, it turns out, is an absolute fitness beast who did basically half our team’s exercises by himself.
My personal favorite part was the fight-a-ton at the end! Nothing I love more than limited Realms fighting for hours and hours. Though it did eventually become unlimited, interspersed with sprints and squats, burdened with unnecessarily heavy weapons and shields, and narrated by bad-cop-drill-sergeant Killian and good-cop-Mommy Saegan, it remained fun the whole time! Everybody gave it their all and I don’t think the marshals were expecting all of us to fight on as long as we did. All three teams were locked all the way in.
I want to thank the Red SyRenZ and Swallow Twice for being such excellent competition. Now I’m going to lay around until I recover the ability to move again.
Tuesday, July 7, 2026
Monday, July 6, 2026
Friday, July 3, 2026
Rumors around the Realms July 1026
Rumors around the Realms July 1026
Blackavar
"A nebulous dream strikes those with Heroes' Souls. If your character has the Dream spell, you may let a marshal know, and obtain extra details from your more clearly-viewed dream.
Nebulous: Two shadows descend a a staircase past a familiar door. The living shadows part in black and green before them as they arrive at a hard wall.
""Now... the storm...
Green floods over the gray of the dank cave in a flash.
""Damn it!"" a woman's voice echoes ""What am I missing??""
A glow of the same unnatural green ends the dream."
Throughout the Realms
Those that live near soft spots to the Fae Wildes have reported hearing distant howling through the night. Some people have expressed hearing the howling right outside their doors, yet found no pawprints in the soft ground. There are yet others that whisper of a hunter on horseback silently making his way through the night, head never turning to look any way but forward. A pack of hounds of various sizes follow him, as well as hunters on foot with wild eyes. Places that see him whisper rumors that the more brash or foolhardy among them that would poke at things unknown go missing in the night.
General Realms
Eastern ports report an uptick in foreigners seeking safety. Those who speak common can be heard at bars, talking about atrocities
Rhiassa
In the deepest hours of the night some have whispered worries about a strange purple glow that seems to flicker through the sky. Those who have witnessed it claim to have been frozen in place, too overcome with terror to move until the glow subsided.
Blackavar
"Though the gate is near
You have not faced your fear.
You think appearing means you’ve won?
The job is not yet done"
Arken
A pair of purple half dragons wearing gold, black, and purple heraldry are going town to town in Arken. They’re asking if anyone has seen anyone like them.
Thursday, July 2, 2026
Why I Want To Go - Tournaments of Blackwood XIII
by: Nixon "Jasper" Showalter
Hello friends, foes, and otherwise,
The lands of Heminshire call to me, as I am sure they are calling to many of you as well. There are good times to be had and I can now only wait eagerly for the weekend! I saw many of you around this time last year, though at the time I was working as a bartender keeping you all hydrated and keeping spirits high, with some side work on the Western Flank (I still occasionally get dreams of Orion chasing me down through the woods with dramatic music in the background, how strange). However, getting to see first hand all of the incredible times there were to be had, I knew this year I wanted to try my hand as a competitor.
Starting off the weekend with the Fated Arena is incredibly exciting. I have only heard stories, but I can say without a doubt I am eager to experience it for myself. There is nothing like entering a competition knowing your objective is not only to win, but to survive. And for all of you wealthy benefactors out there, it seems there will be some use for all of that coin you have accumulated. If anyone wants their heraldry on display, send me a pigeon and we can work something out.
Saturday is going to be a blast, a day full of tournaments for you all to put your best skills on display. Hopefully those of you who suffered, excelled, and survived this past weekend will be recovered to put on a show like no other! This past year Blackwood hosted some of the most unique and whimsical tournaments I have seen on the field, so I know without a doubt there will be fun times to be had. Not only are we competing for placements in each tournament, but winners will also be earning points towards the champion titles of Slayer, Archmage, and Skald. These are not only impressive titles, but also come awarded with their respective relics as well.
As night approaches, the festivities do not end! Drinks will be available to keep the night young, with challenges to Beat the Bartender to keep your bar time exciting. Sir Tao will be hosting a stack deck tournament for those of you who seek to rise in the gambling ranks, and last but certainly not least, Ser Elizah will be opening the Drag Inn for adventurers to compete in some incredibly fun games. The return of Dark Deed and Stoneface are extremely exciting to hear, but for the return of my personal favorite Nay, Poxy, Nave, I cannot wait! Ending the night, the Drag Inn will be hosting their first ever Drag Show, which is so exciting and I look forward to seeing all of the incredible performances for the night!
On Sunday, breakfast will be served (and I am sure it will taste incredible after the night's festivities and with the talents of Irri and Cronin at the stove) and tournaments will continue! To end the day, awards will be presented, titles will be appointed, and we will all have great stories to share.
I cannot wait to see you all there, and I hope you are all excited for a great weekend full of fun times, exciting tournaments, delicious drinks, impressive performances, and all of the amazing things Blackwood has to offer!
Until the sun touches the sea,
Jasper Havarti Sherwood
