Wednesday, July 1, 2015

What You Missed - Good Old-Fashioned Entrepreneurial Recovery by Michael "Swoop" Zajac

*A slightly charred scroll arrived at the View today, the distinct smell of sulfur emanates from the parchment as it is unrolled*

Dear Readers of the View, 

Greetings from the base of a very active volcano! Quite the adventure was had Sunday assisting a little baby dragon recover some lost treasure from a much larger, angrier dragon deep inside its fiery lair. Adventurers from across the realm gathered to reclaim the lost loot within the volcano and of course, slay a very angry dragon. I, Swoop, will regale you with tales of our adventures as the first group to enter the treacherous mountain and, thanks to a little salamander on the wall, will tell of how the later groups fared in the depths.

Cutting our way through thick spider webs, the group found themselves in a dark room, with a semicircle of statues holding riddles and curious puzzle pieces blocking our path. While answering the riddles caused the statues to drop their puzzle pieces, they would shortly animate and attempt to reclaim their lost possession! Through a bit of luck, our group found certain statues were vulnerable to specific types of damage, and therefore we managed to stop some from attempting to reclaim their pieces. My salamander friend tells me other groups were not as fortunate, but their strategy of answering all of the riddles at once and frantically depositing the pieces into the receptacle worked with only minimal bodily injury. This completion of the puzzle opened a doorway to one of the three separate dungeons within the volcano.

For us, the next room led to a long protracted fight with a hostile goblin tribe. The goblins seemed endless until we realized they were being revived at three points within the room, at which point we realized scalping them was out best option. We also discovered a strange little human, who had somehow risen to a rank of leadership within the goblin tribe after living amongst them and possibly believing he himself was a goblin. He joined us on our quest, offering healing and resurrections via a seed of life that he somehow learned from within the goblin culture. My little friend tells me that the other groups fared similar yet different engagements once they progressed pass the statues. The second group also seemed to encounter a hostile goblin tribe, but after realizing half of their party had been thrown in the goblin ice box, realized they needed a different approach besides brawn. Using a bit of magic and a whole lot of mischief, the boys (and girl) in Green and Black and associates managed to fast-talk the goblin leader in releasing their compatriots and guiding them onto the next section of the dungeon. The third group, however, ran into a very different group of goblins, ones that seemed more intent on partying than fighting, as the adventurers walked in amidst a goblin dance party, quite a sight to see. After completing some competitions against the goblins, the goblin chieftain agreed to guide them to the dragon.

Fighting through trolls and bats and uncomfortable doses of personal space invasion and body odor, all three groups fought through a tight corridor and then quickly sprinted through the door as a rockslide collapsed part of the path behind them. A ring of lights needed to be activated, much to the displeasure of the local populace, which then opened a pit of lava, infested with fire throwing sprites. My salamander compatriot wishes for a moment of silence, as 3 of his brothers were slain here and butchered for their claws that the adventures used to throw the fireballs back at the sprites. May they rest in peace.

After the sprites were dealt with, a terrible roar came from the far side of the room, and the dragon emerged from its den! All parties emitted similar cries of surprise and terror as they lept to their feet. I am unsure how it been concealed from me, but a massive spear was produced amongst the fighters in our group, which required 6 men to wield! The spear was thrust into the dragon’s slithering form, hot blood pouring from its wounds. My salamander compatriot tells me the others fared similar battles, with Neden utilizing its extensive knowledge and weapons of dragon-slaying and the third group empowering the goblin chief to have him tackle the dragon head on! Each group fought a mighty battle, and casting aside the possibility that NedenALMOST took all the loot and were about to leave with the dragon still alive, each group conquered the mighty foe. The dragon’s horde was then raided by each group, a veritable wealth of money, items and trinkets left as spoils for the party. The loot was well worth the risk, and each party managed to escape the volcano with only a few burns from the hot lava erupting around us.

In conclusion, a great time was had by every adventurer! The thrill of danger, the great battles and the gaining of loot always stirs the hearts and gold pouches of the heroes of the Realms, and this occasion was no different. My little salamander friend says that while the mountain is quite for now, who knows what dangers still lurk within the fiery halls.

Yours truly,
Swoop of Clan Riverhawk
*A small paw print has also been dabbed underneath Swoop’s signature*