Today we take a look at an event flyer for Loose Threads from 1998. It was held by Colin "Shane" Campbell and Amy "Reed" Reed. I find it interesting that chimeron.net existed even back then. As Janna pointed out to me, I wonder if this event site is still available for Realms use?
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
What You Missed - KoEF Questng 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
What You Missed - 7th Annual Tournaments of Chaos
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Why I Want to Go- Feast of Blackwood III
Feast of Blackwood III
September 28, 2012 (Friday 7pm) - September 30, 2012 (Sunday 5pm)
September 28, 2012 (Friday 7pm) - September 30, 2012 (Sunday 5pm)
The site is perfect for our style of events. It is large with a good amount of woods and trails. And the feast hall is simply spectacluar. It is large enough to accomodate everyone comfortably while still feeling homey and rustic. And it is in excellent condition without that run-down feeling some event site buildings have. Note that while there are some cabins available, they are first-come so make sure you arrive early and snag one for your group.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Question of the Week - 59
Did you meet your real-life significant other at a Realms event or practice?
Friday, September 21, 2012
The Grimloch Tribune
The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden
LEAD STORY: Elven Ghosts
or Elven hoax?
Earlier this summer, T.H.U.G.S (terrors, horrors, undead, ghoul squad) arrested three women believed to be tricking older women out of money and jewelry by convincing them they had evil spirits attached to them. The arrests haven't done much to stop these bizarre ghost scams plaguing the Grimloch community.
Over the weekend, two more women -- both of whom are elven and in their 60s -- were duped out of thousands of gold after multiple suspects told them they had stepped in blood and, as a result, had wicked spirits attached to them.
The suspects employed their usual M.O., telling the victims they must go home, gather all their valuables, and bring them back to the suspects for a "purification ceremony." Sadly, the women did as instructed, only to find that after the purifying ritual, they were returned empty bags; one victim alone lost 500 gold, according to T.H.U.G.S
Luckily, one of the incidents, which occurred in Compton, was caught while T.H.U.G.S agent Dell was scrying the area through his crystal ball. He saw a group of four women switching out one of the bags, then placing it in a different colored bag and walking away, according to Dell
Earlier this summer, T.H.U.G.S (terrors, horrors, undead, ghoul squad) arrested three women believed to be tricking older women out of money and jewelry by convincing them they had evil spirits attached to them. The arrests haven't done much to stop these bizarre ghost scams plaguing the Grimloch community.
Over the weekend, two more women -- both of whom are elven and in their 60s -- were duped out of thousands of gold after multiple suspects told them they had stepped in blood and, as a result, had wicked spirits attached to them.
The suspects employed their usual M.O., telling the victims they must go home, gather all their valuables, and bring them back to the suspects for a "purification ceremony." Sadly, the women did as instructed, only to find that after the purifying ritual, they were returned empty bags; one victim alone lost 500 gold, according to T.H.U.G.S
Luckily, one of the incidents, which occurred in Compton, was caught while T.H.U.G.S agent Dell was scrying the area through his crystal ball. He saw a group of four women switching out one of the bags, then placing it in a different colored bag and walking away, according to Dell
Needless to say, these
crooks are "very confident" in their abilities according to T.H.U.G.S
agent XT.
Four T.H.U.G.S agents (XT, Dell, Dygen, and Sir
Rohde) were following up a lead on a recent report from a small child Benny
Kiderson, grandson of Martha Kiderson. He reported his grandmother had gathered
up all of their valuables and told him that she was heading to a purification
ceremony to get rid of some nasty ghosts.
The four men stacked up on the suspect's ( a local women named Rosa Farrell) front door. On the count of three the T.H.U.G.S agents broke into the house only to find…….. THREE FREAKING REALLY SCARY GHOSTS hovering over Martha’s unconscious body, a pile of Martha’s valuable’s, and one really butchered medium.
The four men stacked up on the suspect's ( a local women named Rosa Farrell) front door. On the count of three the T.H.U.G.S agents broke into the house only to find…….. THREE FREAKING REALLY SCARY GHOSTS hovering over Martha’s unconscious body, a pile of Martha’s valuable’s, and one really butchered medium.
“HOLY CRAP!!!!” Sir
Rohde screamed as one ghost flew through his body. Ser Rohde's eyes began to
glow red and the skin on his face began to visibly crawl as if there were small
worms wriggling just under the surface of his skin.
He drew his sword and rushed towards the rest of the T.H.U.G.S that were shocked to say the least. Before Dygen and Dell could draw steel to defend themselves Sir Rohde was already upon them and as he raised his sword to slice through Dygen he was met with a might THUMP.
XT had flown through the air all crazy dropkick style and crashed into Rohde’s shield causing him to go stumbling backwards crashing into wooden chairs.
“Dell start doing that caster thing you do!” XT shouted “ I will keep Sir F@ckface busy, don’t worry I will leave enough of him for you to raise him.” And with that XT once again took to the air in a tackling motion taking both he and Rohde out the back door.
Dell immediately took out his book of ritual magic and started chanting, his eyes glowing green with power. “DYGEN I NEED YOU TOGET ME ONE OF MARTHA’S POSSESIONS AND A PIECE OF ONE OF THE GHOSTS!!!” Dell shouted as wind began to stir and surround
him.
“How the hell does one get a piece of a ghost?” Dygen frantically inquired.
“GHOST BLADE DUH!" XT yelled from elsewhere in the house.
Dell threw Dygen a GHOST BLADED dagger, “A dagger, thanks” Dygen said as he picked up the knife off the ground.
The two ghosts came down upon Dygen who quickly avoided their ghastly grasp. He nimbly tumbled towards Martha’s items. Dygen grabbed the first thing he could reach, a small locket with a picture of Benny. “O.K lets do this, for the boy” Dygen sighed as he stood. The first ghost flew at him like a raging wind, Dygen narrowly stepped left and with the dagger in his hand and sliced the ghosts face as it flew by. A loud screech pierced the ears of everyone in the room, the ghost howled in pain and flew towards the wall vanishing from the room.
He drew his sword and rushed towards the rest of the T.H.U.G.S that were shocked to say the least. Before Dygen and Dell could draw steel to defend themselves Sir Rohde was already upon them and as he raised his sword to slice through Dygen he was met with a might THUMP.
XT had flown through the air all crazy dropkick style and crashed into Rohde’s shield causing him to go stumbling backwards crashing into wooden chairs.
“Dell start doing that caster thing you do!” XT shouted “ I will keep Sir F@ckface busy, don’t worry I will leave enough of him for you to raise him.” And with that XT once again took to the air in a tackling motion taking both he and Rohde out the back door.
Dell immediately took out his book of ritual magic and started chanting, his eyes glowing green with power. “DYGEN I NEED YOU TO
“How the hell does one get a piece of a ghost?” Dygen frantically inquired.
“GHOST BLADE DUH!" XT yelled from elsewhere in the house.
Dell threw Dygen a GHOST BLADED dagger, “A dagger, thanks” Dygen said as he picked up the knife off the ground.
The two ghosts came down upon Dygen who quickly avoided their ghastly grasp. He nimbly tumbled towards Martha’s items. Dygen grabbed the first thing he could reach, a small locket with a picture of Benny. “O.K lets do this, for the boy” Dygen sighed as he stood. The first ghost flew at him like a raging wind, Dygen narrowly stepped left and with the dagger in his hand and sliced the ghosts face as it flew by. A loud screech pierced the ears of everyone in the room, the ghost howled in pain and flew towards the wall vanishing from the room.
Dygen then started a quick trot over to the
other ghost who was now at full speed flying towards the newest T.H.U.G.S
agent. Dygen threw the GHOST BLADED dagger with everything he had, and it flew
through the air fast and true; and with a surprising thud it landed in the
ghosts face sending him fast backwards towards the ground.
Dygen went over grabbed the blade, twisted it, and scooped it out. “The ectoplasm on that should be enough” Dell shouted”NOW HURRY!!!!”
Dygen went over grabbed the blade, twisted it, and scooped it out. “The ectoplasm on that should be enough” Dell shouted”
Dygen ran over with the blade and handed it to
A tornado of wind started throwing things around the room in a brilliantly chaotic fashion. Elsewhere while fighting XT, Sir Rohde dropped lifeless and the ghost went hurdling towards dell and his magical vortex.
With a blinding light
the ghosts where gone, the necklace was glowing and Martha woke up.
“Is it over?” Martha asked. “It is” Dell answered, as he stretched out his hand with her the necklace. “Please, please keep it. It is the least I can do and frankly I do not want anything that contains ghosts living with me and my grandson.” Martha said to Dell.
“Fair enough, if you ever have any other ghost problems you know who to call.” Dell said.
T.H.U.G.S agents managed to successfully capture the three ghosts, and Dell is currently working on a shorter version of the incantation he used should such a problem happen again…and cause its Grimloch it probably will.
A force to be reckoned
with, T.H.U.G.S agent Syruss gets back to basics with a long time buddy
T.H.U.G.S agent Syruss often dabbles in the arcane arts but recent events at Creathorne this past summer has rendered Syruss cut off from his natural arcane abilities. Fortunately for him he has a few trinkets, which keep him from going through magic withdrawal.
But Syruss doesn’t believe in waiting for the full ability to come back before he starts training; So he sent a raven to a old friend from his order the “ Potentium” (which is a group of casters that believe true magic comes from ones self, and that there is no good or evil forces of magic, just forces and what you do with them.) His buddy from the order Sir Quayloth of Folkestone was happy to come to Grimloch and help Syruss regain some of his abilities.
They opened with a light martial skill work out each wielding a single short, working on parrying and closing the gap. After a while Quayloth thought it would be beneficial to start channeling some of the force to make physical attacks while fighting with single short.
He prepared the earth around by scribbling out some of his mystic runes; he drew on some of the land's natural magics and added some of his own to make a training sphere. In this sphere Syruss was able to recall and use some of the magics he lost over the past year.
Training went well, while Quayloth showed Syruss how to re-channel the force, Syruss in return helped Quayloth with his martial abilities.
With out warning the ground began to shake “YIP YIP FLESH YIP” was heard from the distance and a thunderous noise filled the air getting closer and closer.
“Um Syruss?” Quayloth ask inquisitively.
“ It sounds like a herd of infected Kobalts get ready for a fight old friend” Syruss said as he picked up another single short.
Over the hill fifteen dog-like creatures were stampeding towards them. Syruss activated his magic sword of light and cracked his neck and charged at them with no regard for personal safety. “Look for the most infected area on their body and strike there, that is their weak point.” Syruss shouted.
Quayloth sheathed his blade, his hands began to glow and he smiled a creepy smile that seem to say "finally a chance to really fight."
Quayloth blasted his magic destroying infected Kobalt after Kobalt, hitting the most infected with marksman like precision; truly years behind the bow have left him with a keen eye for openings.
As Quayloth's mana started to wane he smiled even bigger; "I got five down over here old friend what have you got left."
A few feet away a blood soaked Syruss responded “I am cleaning up number nine now”.
T.H.U.G.S agent Syruss often dabbles in the arcane arts but recent events at Creathorne this past summer has rendered Syruss cut off from his natural arcane abilities. Fortunately for him he has a few trinkets, which keep him from going through magic withdrawal.
But Syruss doesn’t believe in waiting for the full ability to come back before he starts training; So he sent a raven to a old friend from his order the “ Potentium” (which is a group of casters that believe true magic comes from ones self, and that there is no good or evil forces of magic, just forces and what you do with them.) His buddy from the order Sir Quayloth of Folkestone was happy to come to Grimloch and help Syruss regain some of his abilities.
They opened with a light martial skill work out each wielding a single short, working on parrying and closing the gap. After a while Quayloth thought it would be beneficial to start channeling some of the force to make physical attacks while fighting with single short.
He prepared the earth around by scribbling out some of his mystic runes; he drew on some of the land's natural magics and added some of his own to make a training sphere. In this sphere Syruss was able to recall and use some of the magics he lost over the past year.
Training went well, while Quayloth showed Syruss how to re-channel the force, Syruss in return helped Quayloth with his martial abilities.
With out warning the ground began to shake “YIP YIP FLESH YIP” was heard from the distance and a thunderous noise filled the air getting closer and closer.
“Um Syruss?” Quayloth ask inquisitively.
“ It sounds like a herd of infected Kobalts get ready for a fight old friend” Syruss said as he picked up another single short.
Over the hill fifteen dog-like creatures were stampeding towards them. Syruss activated his magic sword of light and cracked his neck and charged at them with no regard for personal safety. “Look for the most infected area on their body and strike there, that is their weak point.” Syruss shouted.
Quayloth sheathed his blade, his hands began to glow and he smiled a creepy smile that seem to say "finally a chance to really fight."
Quayloth blasted his magic destroying infected Kobalt after Kobalt, hitting the most infected with marksman like precision; truly years behind the bow have left him with a keen eye for openings.
As Quayloth's mana started to wane he smiled even bigger; "I got five down over here old friend what have you got left."
A few feet away a blood soaked Syruss responded “I am cleaning up number nine now”.
Where is the last one, Quayloth wondered? “YIP YIP FRESH FLESH YIP!!!!!” a scream from behind as the beast flew in the air with fangs and claws ready to kill. “NOT TODAY!” Shouted the Magic Missile Master; and with that shout Quayloth raised a hand and with his sheer force of will suspended this creature helpless in the sky.
“Neat trick bud” Syruss said.
“I ain’t done yet” responded Quayloth his left hand charging glowing brighter and brighter, “Its time for some force lighting.”
With that a surge of energy escaped down Quayloth’s arm and out of his fingertips and started to fry the Kobalt until he was no more.
“I am glad we did this training brother, got to rekindle a old magical spark and kill undead, heck maybe next time you can kill as much as me.” Syruss said laughing.
“Oh” Quayloth responded, with a sneaky smile on his face. He waved his right hand in front of Syruss, “Maybe next time you can kill as much as me.”
“I am glad we did this training brother, got to rekindle a old magical spark and kill undead, heck maybe next time I can kill as much as you.” Syruss said laughing.
Dygen Presents Clean Joke time.
Hey Guys,
T.H.U.G.S agent and all around kicker of
tushies Dygen here, and do I have a joke for you.
Do you like to laugh? Do you like to be able to laugh without looking over your shoulder to see if it's cool to laugh? Well then this new segment is here to put a smile on you face without putting dirt in your brain.
Our first submission comes from Sir Tychus of Eagles Rook; it is important to note that Sir Tychus does not associate himself with Pirates, Scallywags, Hooligans, or Scoundrels.
Do you like to laugh? Do you like to be able to laugh without looking over your shoulder to see if it's cool to laugh? Well then this new segment is here to put a smile on you face without putting dirt in your brain.
Our first submission comes from Sir Tychus of Eagles Rook; it is important to note that Sir Tychus does not associate himself with Pirates, Scallywags, Hooligans, or Scoundrels.
A pirate walked into his favorite tavern. The barkeep, who had not
seen the pirate in months waved him over. Noticing some of the pirates new
features he began to ask some questions.
"Old friend, whatever happened to
your leg?"
"Ah, me leg? It was blasted off by some lubbers cannonball
during a raid, but I got me this fancy new wooden peg now, so it ain't so
bad."
"Well then, what happened to your
hand?"
"Aye me hand. It was cloven in two by some scallywag's
cutlass, but I got me this fancy new hook now, so it ain't so bad."
"And you eye, old friend?"
"Well it was the darndest thing, a flock o' gulls was flyin'
overhead when one pooped right in me eye."
"And that was enough to damage your
eye?"
"Nay, it was just me first day with the hook!"
Well that's it for this
issue I am Theddy Quill reporting the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but
the facts. Stay safe see you next week
Thursday, September 20, 2012
What You Missed - Folkestone Questing 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
What You Missed - Feast of Folkestone XIII
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Why I Want To Go- Black Tide
This event is a Fae plot event, with a focus on the continued threat from Bedlam. Three different lands will be threatened, one during each of the three sections. The event is being run convergences style with players PCing two sections and NPCing one sections. The staff has said they need an even number of people NPCing each section.
There are perks available during certain sections for priest of Justari and those with Creathorne or RiDacavallo steeds (so don't forget to bring them).
The event site is a public park where there are mundanes around. There are no onsite facilities.
The site opens at 11 and event is starting promptly at 12. So don't be late.
There are perks available during certain sections for priest of Justari and those with Creathorne or RiDacavallo steeds (so don't forget to bring them).
The event site is a public park where there are mundanes around. There are no onsite facilities.
The site opens at 11 and event is starting promptly at 12. So don't be late.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Question of the Week - 58
What is your favorite type of combat tourney (sword & shield, dagger, team, etc.)? What is your least favorite?
Friday, September 14, 2012
The Grimloch Tribune
The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden
LEAD STORY: Bumbling Burglars Beaten Brutally After Trying to Rob Rohde and Syruss’s Hump House and Bar.
Not too many people who travel the realms are stupid enough to pick a fight with the ‘Ultimate Dynamic Duo’ (Ultimate Dynamic Duo is trade mark under the "Rohde funny things I say cooperation") even fewer are dumb enough to try and rob them. However once in a red moon you get the combination of liquid courage and stupidity to try and pull off such a heist.
Local tough guys Rusty and Hubert were on a drinking bender after they lost hundreds of gold worth of 10-piece CoTR after spending them as 1 gold and not full 10.
Drunken bar fly and frequent patron of the famous ‘Hump House and Bar’ Nymbous over heard the two griping, this is what he said they had to say:
“ I can’t believe all those shops took our Tens as ones and didn’t tell us differently” Rusty said (Nymbous assumed that the redhead gingery one was rusty)
“I can’t believe I trusted you with all our hard earned gold!” Hubert complained.
Drunken bar fly and frequent patron of the famous ‘Hump House and Bar’ Nymbous over heard the two griping, this is what he said they had to say:
“ I can’t believe all those shops took our Tens as ones and didn’t tell us differently” Rusty said (Nymbous assumed that the redhead gingery one was rusty)
“I can’t believe I trusted you with all our hard earned gold!” Hubert complained.
“Don’t worry boss, I have another great idea on how to earn money. Why don’t we knock over this place!!! Think of the gold coming into this place through the bar through the dancers.”
“I don’t know” Hubert said. “What about the two guys who own this shop, them Grimloch guys are supposed to be tough as nails, spit fire and fart lighting and all that.”
“Those idiots.” Rusty roared laughing “How many weekends have we been coming here now? I am convinced their names are just on the door. They are always out saving the world, or winning a tournament.”
“Ok sounds like a solid enough plan to me, but to be sure lets break in on a Wednesday night, what are the odds they will be here then.” Hubert exclaimed.
I inquired as to why Nymbous didn’t report what he heard earlier and he had this to say:
“Those guys can take care of themselves plus they owe me for that time they reanimated my Ex to come work for them after that horse accident, LOOK THERE SHE IS NOW………..No honey put down that nice mans head…..”
Wednesday night came and the two burglars were ready to strike. The lock was easily picked, because who would dare right?
The two entered and one quickly cast light and started spreading small orbs of blue lights all over the place.
“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!” Was yelled as the lights came on through magic fire. The two burglars standing there with loot in hand looked mighty shocked, as Rohde and Jaha, XT, Grot, Rillian, Dell, Grebinar, and Dygen looked pretty confused then angry.
“Here we are!” Syruss shouted as he guided a blind folded Nymbous into the bar and then yelled “SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!!!!” But that quickly died down as he surveyed the room.
Nymbous took off his blindfold to see the two bumbling thief’s caught red handed.
“I don’t know” Hubert said. “What about the two guys who own this shop, them Grimloch guys are supposed to be tough as nails, spit fire and fart lighting and all that.”
“Those idiots.” Rusty roared laughing “How many weekends have we been coming here now? I am convinced their names are just on the door. They are always out saving the world, or winning a tournament.”
“Ok sounds like a solid enough plan to me, but to be sure lets break in on a Wednesday night, what are the odds they will be here then.” Hubert exclaimed.
I inquired as to why Nymbous didn’t report what he heard earlier and he had this to say:
“Those guys can take care of themselves plus they owe me for that time they reanimated my Ex to come work for them after that horse accident, LOOK THERE SHE IS NOW………..No honey put down that nice mans head…..”
Wednesday night came and the two burglars were ready to strike. The lock was easily picked, because who would dare right?
The two entered and one quickly cast light and started spreading small orbs of blue lights all over the place.
“SURPRISE!!!!!!!!” Was yelled as the lights came on through magic fire. The two burglars standing there with loot in hand looked mighty shocked, as Rohde and Jaha, XT, Grot, Rillian, Dell, Grebinar, and Dygen looked pretty confused then angry.
“Here we are!” Syruss shouted as he guided a blind folded Nymbous into the bar and then yelled “SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY!!!!” But that quickly died down as he surveyed the room.
Nymbous took off his blindfold to see the two bumbling thief’s caught red handed.
“TONIGHT IS YOUR HIEST! Classic!” Nymbous shouted.
From across the town shouts of pain were heard followed by laughter then music and singing.
The two are being charged with breaking and entering as well as sued for over a hundred gold in property damaged that the two broke with their faces and various body parts.
Over Ruled; a update on the Mad um……Awesome Boy King Jaha’s reign.
Warlord Jaha or Boy King JAHAfrey as some are taking to call him has been tearing up his regime with new exciting laws in the lands of Grimloch. We here at the Grimloch Tribune are dedicated to keeping you up to date with all the changes and new laws.
Warlord Jaha or Boy King JAHAfrey as some are taking to call him has been tearing up his regime with new exciting laws in the lands of Grimloch. We here at the Grimloch Tribune are dedicated to keeping you up to date with all the changes and new laws.
Standard Laws in Grimloch are as followed
1.NO NECROMANCEY, because of its strong aura in the lands of Grimloch most necromancers are doubled in strength and casting ability. Thus causing many casters to go mad and take the will over the living. It was because of this that Necromancy has been deemed illegal in Grimloch, but of course that is well known.
2. Theft, do not steal in the lands of Grimloch and if you do don’t get caught. They have a two eye for an eye policy so you often loose more than you took. Also, if you cannot pay the fine, there are alternative ways to pay on that debt. You know the expression can’t get blood from a stone. Well GRIMLOCH found a way.
1.NO NECROMANCEY, because of its strong aura in the lands of Grimloch most necromancers are doubled in strength and casting ability. Thus causing many casters to go mad and take the will over the living. It was because of this that Necromancy has been deemed illegal in Grimloch, but of course that is well known.
2. Theft, do not steal in the lands of Grimloch and if you do don’t get caught. They have a two eye for an eye policy so you often loose more than you took. Also, if you cannot pay the fine, there are alternative ways to pay on that debt. You know the expression can’t get blood from a stone. Well GRIMLOCH found a way.
3. Do not Murder, if you do please make sure it is not some one in Grimloch. Murder will fall with the punishment two eyes for an eye. You kill one of them prepare to have your soul ripped from your body.
4. NAneeneeneeneenee NA nee (mockery in a high falsetto voice) is a scalpable offense; do not do this to a Grimloch member, if you accidently do make sure to APOLOGIZE IN LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.
New Rules under the JAHAfrey regime
1) PrimaDrinkta: Warlord Jaha always gets first drink.
New Rules under the JAHAfrey regime
1) PrimaDrinkta: Warlord Jaha always gets first drink.
2) PrimaSeata: Much like PrimaDrinkta Warlord Jaha gets his choice in seat.
3) A loss in a dogs Gauntlet results in a Dog Status for the day. If an A member loses to a dog running his gauntlet he is a dog for the rest of the day or until the Boy King decides differently.
4) V and Rohde have had their condiment privileges suspended due to recent events involving one of the most sacred possessions a Grimloch member has (their tabard) and mustard. Rohde and V have to eat all their hot dogs plain.
5) Syruss is the official King of Swing; Upon this decree Warlord Jaha made Syruss in charge of all Grimloch’s Sock Hops and Hoot-a-nannies
4) V and Rohde have had their condiment privileges suspended due to recent events involving one of the most sacred possessions a Grimloch member has (their tabard) and mustard. Rohde and V have to eat all their hot dogs plain.
5) Syruss is the official King of Swing; Upon this decree Warlord Jaha made Syruss in charge of all Grimloch’s Sock Hops and Hoot-a-nannies
Dear Rohodey: A delightfully tactful advice column written by the one and only Sensitive Sensation himself Sir Rohde of Grimloch
Dear Rohodey,
Got a problem. I’m a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner.
It’s important that my family eat meat at least three times a week, but we just can’t afford to with the prices the way they are, so I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects. Just mix in the tuna helper and ta-da!
The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what’s
my secret.
Rohodey, I think they’re getting suspicious. My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps
asking, where’s all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that’s kept in the fridge.
If they find out the truth I don’t think they’ll understand. Rohde, what do I tell
my family?
Carnivorously Curious
Got a problem. I’m a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner.
It’s important that my family eat meat at least three times a week, but we just can’t afford to with the prices the way they are, so I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects. Just mix in the tuna helper and ta-da!
The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what’s
my secret.
Rohodey, I think they’re getting suspicious. My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps
asking, where’s all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that’s kept in the fridge.
If they find out the truth I don’t think they’ll understand. Rohde, what do I tell
my family?
Carnivorously Curious
Dear . . .Grossy McGross Face, I hereby dub thee Hannibal.
The real question should be what do you do IF THEY FIND OUT!!!!!!!!!! And I already know you know the correct answer, so yeah make peace with THAT!
In the meantime, I recall learning somewhere that human flesh tastes like pork, and that the best parts are the breastmeat or the arm, depending on which account of 1st century pioneer orcs getting stuck in snowstorms you read.
Your family, though, is asking where it came from, not what it is. The answer to that is ridiculously easy: tell them you stop at the butcher's on the way home from work.
I'd be annoyed at you for even asking this question, if you hadn't provided me with such a perfect opportunity to showcase my inappropriately detailed knowledge of the edibility of human flesh.
Anyways see next week at the pot luck
Love Always
Rohodey
Well that's it for this issue I am Theddy Quill reporting the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the facts. Stay safe see you next week
Happenings on the Emerald Path
A news and announcements section of what Realms players are doing outside of the Realms. If you know of any news feel free to let us know at aearlegray@gmail.com.
Congratulations to Rori "Rhiannon" Boyce and Bill DeGrandpre who celebrated their marriage on August 25th.
Congratulations to Lani "Gwen" Jones and Jeremy "NightHawk" Grayson who celebrated their wedding on September 2.
Congratulations on Joe "Rillan" Sims purchasing a new house. Now we know where the parties will be!
Congratulations to Rori "Rhiannon" Boyce and Bill DeGrandpre who celebrated their marriage on August 25th.
Congratulations to Lani "Gwen" Jones and Jeremy "NightHawk" Grayson who celebrated their wedding on September 2.
Congratulations on Joe "Rillan" Sims purchasing a new house. Now we know where the parties will be!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Why I Want To Go- Rime & Reason
Rime & Reason: T5C: Water & Sky Make Ice
September 16, 2012 (Sunday 11am) - September 16, 2012 (Sunday 6pm)
September 16, 2012 (Sunday 11am) - September 16, 2012 (Sunday 6pm)
Part of a long-running plot this is your chance to do some fighting, puzzle-solving and a whole lot of role-playing. If you've been following this plot, you know it tests all aspects of a player character; this is your chance to shine. The ramifications of this event will be felt throughout the Realms and multiple plotlines, including the biggie, Bedlam. So come and make your mark upon the Realms!
Again, if you pre-reg for all more than one event at this site
this weekend you will receive a discount. Make sure to pre-reg your magic items as some may receive an in-game bonus. One thing they could use more of is NPCs; the event staff offers up some really nice incentives for NPCing, so now you more reason to come and NPC!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Why I Want To Go- KOEF Questing 2012
KOEF Questing 2012
September 15, 2012 (Saturday 12pm) - September 15, 2012 (Saturday 11:45pm)
September 15, 2012 (Saturday 12pm) - September 15, 2012 (Saturday 11:45pm)
[Disclaimer: The author of this post is part of the staff.]
This event has long had a tradition of providing a wide range of quests through the Nexus. This means players get a choice of what quests they will tackle. Most are from established plotlines, but some are newer. Either way, this event provides something for everyone. Different from the usual multi-quest events, this one is not being run Convergences style, so you will not be asked to NPC for any of it. You get to play all event long. Come and get your questing groove on!
Again, if you pre-reg for all more than one event at this site
this weekend you will receive a discount overall. As for the site itself, it is superb for questing, with trails spread throughout nice woods, buildings that can hide the mysterious and an excellent tavern area.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Why I Want To Go- Storytellers VII
Storytellers VII: If you sing a song a day, you will make a better way
September 14, 2012 (Friday 6pm) - September 15, 2012 (Saturday 12am)
September 14, 2012 (Friday 6pm) - September 15, 2012 (Saturday 12am)
This event has long had a tradition of allowing new event holders to give running an event a chance with the support of experienced eventholders to back them up. With its three quest format, this event provides for a variety of quests that is sure to provide at least one quest that will interest you. Some are new quests and some are continuations of established plots, such as the "On the Brink" plotline. This is the start of a 3 day weekend of questing events, all on the same site! Each event will have something different from each other and will run a wide range of questing styles. This will be a good way to start this weekend.
Some notes to remember before you attend this event. First is that if you pre-reg for all three events at this site this weekend you will receive a discount overall. Second is that this event requires you to NPC 1 out of the 3 quests, thus allowing you to PC 2 of them.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Question of the Week - 57
Do you envision your character looking different from you as the player (perhaps older or younger or with more hair)?
Friday, September 7, 2012
The Grimloch Tribune
The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden
We here at the Grimloch Tribune would like to apologize for the lack of news being reported. Akakios' minions followed by the heroes of the realms have once again swept in and stirred up the dust in Grimloch leaving us once again to put the pieces back together. A few of the places ruined in the process was Yimmit’s apothecary (already back up and running), my favorite pancake place (RIP you buttery, syrupy, goodness), AND THIS NEWSPAPER FIRM!!!!!!!!
For those of you who could not make to the Undead Zombie nightmare land known as Grimloch this summer here is what you missed.
The warriors of the Realms arrived in Grimloch to assist and seek solutions to the ongoing invasion by the forces of Akakios and his dastardly damaging undead.
Dr. Venture of Westwood had previously been placed in protective custody at Fort Bramble while perfecting a cure for the ailment of half breed 'infections' of undead spreading throughout towns. They are like undead only they sort of have a pluse, but they look real gross sooo yeah.
He succeeded in his production and is able to reproduce limited batches throughout a given day. With this tool and their brave actions, the Realms heroes were able to reinstate human populations in Iron Ridge, Grey Brook, and Thistle Grove as well as eliminate some of the higher ranking soldiers of Akakios.
The Heroes were able to break a curse within the ancient town of Yreth on its annual Day of the Dead by completing the ritual of marriage between Dame Twenaria and resident Nacho, I was told it was an excellent wedding, which none of us in Grimloch were invited to for some reason (hey we like a good wedding as much as the next guy).
When the marriage was completed, the natural elemental powers of the area could keep the undead sickness at bay for another year. In return as well, the bridal party received a gift of runes that were found to be instrumental in the further defeat of Akakios and his Metal Lords.
Here is when we got the big guy Akakios' attention, who appeared in the 'flesh' along with his elite army of raiders, slaughtering many either as a show of force or some sort of warning perhaps. Many of his soldiers previously had influenced the brave warriors of the Realms and as a result, he made many adventurers attack their long time friends. He then captured a few heroes to show that he was in control of the situation.
The heroes of the realms then pursued Akakios' trail to reclaim their compatriots throughout the night. Sadly, the warriors abandoned the Fort Bramble site due to increasing pressure on its sentries. Dr. Venture has been moved to a new location to continue his work.
In other news, the thief known as Flynn Rider was caught and executed for crimes against the state- he had raised the anger of Blade and the other Lords by hijacking the newly minted treasury on its way to storage at the Bank. An undisclosed amount of coins has been lost amongst the wilds.
But that was our summer, that and finding time to come and fight in many MANY different tourneys.
A deadly taste of Heaven: Recipes from Empress Katasha of Grimloch
Hey guys, back from the depths of hell a.k.a Katasha’s cooking space and have I got something great for you. Have you ever gone to a Feast of Folkestone or a Grimloch Grill and Games; or maybe you have been lucky enough to have purchased one of those fancy private dinners from our culinary connoisseur Katasha and was all like “How did she make that?” or “ Oh god if she cooks that good for all of Grimloch than why don’t I join?” (Why do you think we joined?) then you are in luck.
Because despite throwing kitchen knives and a few broken ribs, I can see why Syruss passed this off to me this time. I Theddy Quill investigative reporter managed to sneak into the Grimloch kitchen and into Katasha’s cookbook to bring you back this segment “A Deadly Taste of Heaven”
This week’s recipe
Pretty Chicken Marinade
Serves 4
- 2/3 cup olive oil
- 2/3 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
- 1/4 cup lemon juice
- 2 tablespoons liquid smoke flavoring
- 2 tablespoons spicy brown mustard
- 2 teaspoons ground black pepper
- 2 teaspoons garlic powder
- 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
- In a large bowl, mix the olive oil, soy sauce, lemon juice, liquid smoke, mustard, pepper, and garlic powder. Place chicken in the bowl, and coat with the marinade. Cover, and allow chicken to marinate a maximum of 4 hours in the refrigerator.
- Preheat the grill for high heat.
- Oil grill grate. Discard marinade, and place chicken on grate. Cook 6 to 8 minutes on each side, until juices run clear.
Taking the leap: From Citizen to Soldier.
This
past Queen of Hearts was particularly eventful for the Nation of
Grimloch not only did XT join the ranks of Members who have won the
coveted title of Champion of Queen of Hearts (Sir Blade, Sir Guilliam,
Syruss, and Grott) but Grimloch saw a boom in petitioners.
The class of 1012 was feeling lonely for Wrath but Queen of Hearts was destined to change that. On Saturday Grebinar from the church of Darkhaven took the first steps in joining the ranks of Grimloch.
The line was set up, Grebinar looked on at the people he would one day hope to call peers. He tried to keep his composure as he stood there with sword and marne in hand; but he would be lying as would anyone if they said it is not a bit intimidating staring down a line of some of the fiercest fighters these lands have ever produced.
But Grebinar is not an average warrior he is twisted with the touch of the ALL, he relishes pain and fighting and longs for steel to shred flesh; so he smiled and he entered. Grebinar looked as though he was going to tear through the Gauntlet unmatched; truly his time training in Darkhaven and Grimloch has started to bear fruit. Things were going well until he reached the “BACK NINE” as I like to call it. It is the part of the Gauntlet that has some of the most seasoned fighters, as well as Grimloch’s leadership. Grebinar looked like he hit a brick wall at this point, with each fighter coming out of the gate fiercer than the last.
He trial was done, blood dripped from all his wounds yet he smiled. The Warlords presented him with what he desired: a new tabard and a year to prove himself part of the family, prove himself strong, and prove himself GRIMLOCH.
However Grebinar was not the only one to join the military ranks this weekend. Drike would leave the rank citizen and move on to petitioner. After putting in a hard weekends work showing the rest of the group that he was no ordinary citizen, he was no baker, or cooper, or cobbler he was the son of Rillian. Born in the blood of the Borderlands, he was uprooted at a young age to the undead infested lands that haunt his nightmares to this day.
The class of 1012 was feeling lonely for Wrath but Queen of Hearts was destined to change that. On Saturday Grebinar from the church of Darkhaven took the first steps in joining the ranks of Grimloch.
The line was set up, Grebinar looked on at the people he would one day hope to call peers. He tried to keep his composure as he stood there with sword and marne in hand; but he would be lying as would anyone if they said it is not a bit intimidating staring down a line of some of the fiercest fighters these lands have ever produced.
But Grebinar is not an average warrior he is twisted with the touch of the ALL, he relishes pain and fighting and longs for steel to shred flesh; so he smiled and he entered. Grebinar looked as though he was going to tear through the Gauntlet unmatched; truly his time training in Darkhaven and Grimloch has started to bear fruit. Things were going well until he reached the “BACK NINE” as I like to call it. It is the part of the Gauntlet that has some of the most seasoned fighters, as well as Grimloch’s leadership. Grebinar looked like he hit a brick wall at this point, with each fighter coming out of the gate fiercer than the last.
He trial was done, blood dripped from all his wounds yet he smiled. The Warlords presented him with what he desired: a new tabard and a year to prove himself part of the family, prove himself strong, and prove himself GRIMLOCH.
However Grebinar was not the only one to join the military ranks this weekend. Drike would leave the rank citizen and move on to petitioner. After putting in a hard weekends work showing the rest of the group that he was no ordinary citizen, he was no baker, or cooper, or cobbler he was the son of Rillian. Born in the blood of the Borderlands, he was uprooted at a young age to the undead infested lands that haunt his nightmares to this day.
Truly
his was a sick childhood, he learned at a young age how to carry a
weapon as well as to never be alone in the undying lands. He picked up
whatever tricks his father’s brothers would teach him, learning mostly
through trial and error (It’s a good thing Yimmit had plenty of potions
of raise dead for the young boy). But over the years he grew stronger,
and with that strength his skills started to develop.
Now it was Queen of Hearts and after years of being a mere citizen he was showing the fighting prowess that it would take to make the jump from citizen to petitioner.
The Gauntlet lined up yet one more time. The young Drike’s mouth had failed him when he searched for words to say why he was there, he managed to say “to take the next step” and grow to the next level.
Now it was Queen of Hearts and after years of being a mere citizen he was showing the fighting prowess that it would take to make the jump from citizen to petitioner.
The Gauntlet lined up yet one more time. The young Drike’s mouth had failed him when he searched for words to say why he was there, he managed to say “to take the next step” and grow to the next level.
With
that he entered and he came out swinging. He looked strong and he
fought hard, however the Grimloch boys were not about to have a repeat
performance of yesterday’s Gauntlet. Each and every member was about to
show this citizen what he truly was getting himself into. Drike ran into
the Grimloch brick wall, not winning a single bout (actually I do think
he managed a lucky kill, unfortunately this cracker jack reporter has
…umm… forgot who) At the end of the tunnel of madness stood the Warlords
and one more guest was by their side this gauntlet. It was his father,
but he was not welcoming him with a warm glass of milk and cookies;
instead he met his son with sword and shield. Despite the pride he had for his boy, he was not about to let
anyone just walk into his family he so loves. They fought strong and
Drike fought well, but in the end it was his father teaching his son one
more lesson.
Drike did not despair at his low kill count yet he relished the chance to grow and he knew the next time this Gauntlet lined up there would be different results.
SO congratulations to recruits Drike and Grebinar you have a long year ahead of you, make the best of this time and may the Force be with you.
Drike did not despair at his low kill count yet he relished the chance to grow and he knew the next time this Gauntlet lined up there would be different results.
SO congratulations to recruits Drike and Grebinar you have a long year ahead of you, make the best of this time and may the Force be with you.
Well that's it for this issue I am Theddy Quill reporting the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the facts. Stay safe see you next week
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Forgotten Fields by Diana "Kiira" LaPierre
Lush and long my grass is grown
Hiding secrets that once were known
Soft rolling hills mask and betray
The happenings of a long lost day
Dawning was the morning sun
The time the battle had begun
It's warming rays I felt had spread
As the first man had fallen dead
The arrow that had pierced his breast
Loosed from a bow before the rest
The hush and silence was then broken
By calls of charge loudly spoken
The trampling of their armored feet
As though it was my own heart beat
Raced upon my once virgin skin
To see which cause was right to win
Long after the sides had embarked
Steel on steel, their weapons sparked
Pikes and blades stabbed through their sides
Battle calls and Death abides
The blood had pooled upon my land
And I took it in like a beggar's hand
It's taste still fresh within my mind
A memory I'd wished to leave behind
The sun along his fated path
Shone his light upon their wrath
From dawn 'till dusk, the fight did rage
A gory scene, my land its stage
The reaper sowed my fields that day
With blood and death to my dismay
For what they fought, I cannot say
Nor can any alive this day
Centuries have come to pass
And now the blades are those of grass
The others hiding far beneath
My earth, now their eternal sheath
Shafts of arrows are now decayed
Helms and arms unfit to be displayed
Deeply entrenched, laying in silence
Aware of their part in past violence
Though no scars can show my pain
The echoes of their loss remain
My bitter secret I cannot bestow
And none who look on me shall know
Hiding secrets that once were known
Soft rolling hills mask and betray
The happenings of a long lost day
Dawning was the morning sun
The time the battle had begun
It's warming rays I felt had spread
As the first man had fallen dead
The arrow that had pierced his breast
Loosed from a bow before the rest
The hush and silence was then broken
By calls of charge loudly spoken
The trampling of their armored feet
As though it was my own heart beat
Raced upon my once virgin skin
To see which cause was right to win
Long after the sides had embarked
Steel on steel, their weapons sparked
Pikes and blades stabbed through their sides
Battle calls and Death abides
The blood had pooled upon my land
And I took it in like a beggar's hand
It's taste still fresh within my mind
A memory I'd wished to leave behind
The sun along his fated path
Shone his light upon their wrath
From dawn 'till dusk, the fight did rage
A gory scene, my land its stage
The reaper sowed my fields that day
With blood and death to my dismay
For what they fought, I cannot say
Nor can any alive this day
Centuries have come to pass
And now the blades are those of grass
The others hiding far beneath
My earth, now their eternal sheath
Shafts of arrows are now decayed
Helms and arms unfit to be displayed
Deeply entrenched, laying in silence
Aware of their part in past violence
Though no scars can show my pain
The echoes of their loss remain
My bitter secret I cannot bestow
And none who look on me shall know
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
What You Missed - Tournaments of the Void 3
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Why I Want to Go- 7th Annual Tournament of Chaos
7th Annual Tournament of Chaos: Chaos belts, Chaos the T-Shirt, Chaos the flamethrower
September 7, 2012 (Friday 7pm) - September 9, 2012 (Sunday 4pm)
September 7, 2012 (Friday 7pm) - September 9, 2012 (Sunday 4pm)
What can expect at this event? The unexpected. There will be a plethora of tourneys, all with something a little different from what we are used to. This event has a history of unique tourneys and interesting character interactions during these tourneys. All this is done to keep the event engaging and interesting. In addition to combat tourneys during the day, there will be non-combat tourneys during the evening, quests on Friday and Saturday night, and a feast on Saturday night. This event will have everything you would want from a weekend event!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Question of the Week - 56
What do you think of 24-hour live sites? Do you think they live up to their potential?
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