The Great Aspis Hunt - by Baron Diamond

photo by Jason Rosa

So most of my songs are things which really happened, subject to bardic needs of rhyming and verse.  This one didn’t actually happen as far as I am aware, but for the needs  of the 1022 Queen of Hearts Performance tourney I selected “Squire”, “Dragon”, “Darkvale”, and “Fame” from the short list of topics and made hay out of whole cloth. 

--Baron Diamond

The Great Aspis Hunt

C                  G

In Darkvale overrun with snakes 

C B7

A bet was made for improbable stakes

C                  G

A dragon or squire who killed the most

C B7 Em

Their fame would rise, the other was toast.

Dm G

Ryu and Fern, Dragon and Squire

Dm G Am

Both king’s page, but who would rise higher?

C                  G

Let the great snake hunt begin

C B7

Watch out for their armored skin

C                  G

They swing poison at your chin

C B7 Em

Dragon versus Squire, only one could win.

Dm G

Ryu and Fern, Dragon and Squire

Dm G Am

Both king’s page, but who would rise higher?

C                  G

Fern protected others with their shield

C B7

Ryu swung icicle, frozen snakes littered the field.

C                  G

Both racked up counts of aspis keeled

C B7 Em

In a contest neither one would yield.

Dm G

Ryu and Fern, Dragon and Squire

Dm G Am

Both king’s page, but who would rise higher?

C                  G

Dragon Ryu’s heat turned icicle wet

C B7

A puddle was no help with the bet.

C                  G

Fern caught aspis in a net

(no music, deadpan)

BECAUSE MODERN PROBLEMS REQUIRE MODERN SOLUTIONS

Dm G

Ryu and Fern, Dragon and Squire

Dm G Am

Both king’s page, but who would rise higher?

C                  G

In the end Fern won fame and favor of the crown

C B7 Em

Because when counting the score, they were the one who wrote it down.

Dm G

Ryu and Fern, Dragon and Squire

Dm G Am

Both king’s page, then one rose higher!

What You Missed: Queen of Hearts XXVII Night Quest

 by Tim "James Swift" Suitor

photo by Brianna Meisser

After a long day competing in Rhiassa, we heard there was trouble, so a group of us began to mill around by the tavern and the stage, awaiting a portend of what was to come, and sure enough, it arrived. A mildly hostile warrior woman of the Order of the Saintly Shadow arrived to warn us of a Necromantic Coven or Sect that has cropped back up. She was seeking allies who might be able to help defeat them, and was willing to use this as a test to see if we were worthy to help her. Yeah, one of those. These Necromancers have been stealing corpses, still saveable people, and turning them into powerful undead using cruel soul magics.

We departed and quickly encountered some of these undead fairly quickly. While we were able to defeat them, they regenerated ad nauseam. We weren't able to rend the Undead, or keep them down, leading to them flanking us as the party continued down the path. We followed a trail of undead to a necromantic ritual with a Circle of Undeath ripping the life from any who contacted it, containing another ritual circle holding a necromancer. We were harried by undead as we worked to deal with the first circle, and when it was disrupted it released the undead still inside. 

 

The second circle protecting the necromancer had four parts to it, skulls and candles rining it with four bones, each carved with a word of cruelty. Agony, Despair, Deceit, Avarice. Eventually, we figured we could begin dismantling the protections for the Necromancer, by countering the points of cruelty with their opposite. Generosity to best Avarice, Truth to beat Deceit, Hope for Despair, and Soothing to calm Agony. The final circle fell, and… and we defeated the Necromancer. I believe.  

 

It was a long night, and I am still tired, so I am sorry if anything was glossed over or inaccurate. I am weary from a long Queen of Hearts weekend, and still have a bit of a headache. 

 

Our guide, Angelique of the Order of the Saintly Shadow made sure we were aware this was only the start, more of these Necromancers await, and we may have proved ourselves to her, enough at least. If she can point us towards an evil to put down, I’ll take it.

Battlecry!

 Battlecry!

This is a weekly bulletin for practices in the Realms.  Practices are one of the most important facets to the Realms, it is a place where many people are introduced to the game, as well as a place to enjoy the company and meet new members of the community.  Even if you are not a fighter, it is still a great form of exercise, as well as a way to hone your combat skills, which is an important skill for helping out at events while NPCing.  A lot of what makes a great combatant in the Realms has to do with muscle memory and building a good intuition for combat, which can only happen with consistent practice, so make sure to try and stop by your local practice as often as possible

Tuesday

Western Massachusetts Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1857)

6:00pm-8:00pm - Mittineague Park, West Springfield, MA

Details

• Practice consists of a mix of individual and group combat.

• Loaner weapons are not available.

• Water is not available, bring your own water.

• Public restrooms are available on site.

• Masks are optional.

• This is outdoors and inclement weather is very likely to limit attendance.

Important Notes

• None this week.

Weather

• It is going to be a great day for practice, partly cloudy and in the mid to low 80’s.

Wednesday

Nashua Blackwood Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1857)

4:00pm-8:00pm -Greely Park (Concord St), Nashua, NH

Details

• Practice consists of a mix of individual, squad, and line battles, as attendees prefer.

• Loaner weapons are available.

• There is no water on site, bring your own.

• Public restrooms are available on site.

• While a few people might be there around 4:00, 5:00 is a more likely time to get started.

• We set up near the grills and tables on the West side of Concord St, just off the access road to the north of the public restrooms.

• Masks are optional.

• This is outdoors and inclement weather is very likely to limit attendance.

Important Notes

• None this week.

Weather

• It is going to be a great day for practice, sunny and in the mid to low 80’s.

Central CT Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1860)

6:00pm-9:00pm - Pierson Park, 5 West St, Cromwell, CT

Important Notes

• Practice consists of a mix of individual training and if attendees are interested, team combat and combat games.

• Loaner weapons available.

• Water fountains are available in season, best to bring your own drinking water however.

• Public restrooms available on site.

Updates

• None this week.

Weather

• It is going to be a great day for practice, partly cloudy and in the mid to low 80’s.

Thursday

Stratham Hill Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1859)

6:00pm-8:00pm - Stratham Hill Park, Stratham, NH

Important Notes

• Practice consists of individual combat for the first half, and ditch style team combat for the second half.

• Masks are optional.

• Loaner weapons are available.

• Water is available on site, but bring your own container.

• On-site bathroom.

Updates

• None this week.

Weather

• It is going to be a great day for practice, partly cloudy and in the mid to low 70’s.

Meme Monday

 by the Meme Team

Why I Want to Go: The15th Annual Tournaments of Chaos

by Lani "Gwen" Jones

It has been such an amazing Spring and Summer for Realms. Dusting off all of the cobwebs and seeing everyone come together as a community has been one of the most gratifying and enjoyable experiences I've ever had. I guess I'm feeling a little mushy, but when I think about why I want to go to Tournaments of Chaos, the first thing that comes to mind is how much I am looking forward to seeing all of you.

But that aside, Sir Celtrex has promised us an amazing day of tournaments and festivities and I am all too happy to travel to Sharingil and partake of the good times and great camaraderie. Looking over the tournament list, it is clear that Celtrex and his staff have prepared a tremendous number of activities and tournaments of all kinds. There's no way anyone is going to suffer from lack of things to do at this event!

And of course combat tournaments appeal to many people but what's really exciting is that it has so many other types of tournaments as well. Bardic and dance, armor and foam smithing, and all sorts of other things? What's Radstar's Lightning Bowl? I have no idea but it sure sounds electrifying!

So if you haven't already decided to spend your weekend at Tournaments of Chaos, I think you should give it some serious thought. The Realms is at it's best when we all show up to compete together and to cheer each other on, and for sure there will be lots of that at this event. Come for the combat, stay for the Chaos. Celtrex you can have that slogan for free!

Team Elwin's Performance Piece- Queen of Hearts XXVII

Written by Renee "Kindrianna" Booke, Bri "Margaret" Meisser, & Sarah "Natira" Babineau and Performed by Bri "Margaret" Meisser, Diana "Kiira" Learned, and Tim "James Swift" Suitor

Brave young Squire Swift went walkin' one day through a field.
After all the fighting, he hungered for a meal.
Over to Rhiassa, the legend it was true!
Charcuterie boards for days...so much freakin' food!

"Help! Help!" cried Sir Aeston, "A sorcerer, I see!
They're after my charcuterie board, and there's nothing left for me!"

"I will save you, Aeston!" the Squire did decree.
"I only hope when all is done, you'll share your snacks with me!"

The sorcerer did laugh, collecting all the cheese.
The scent of pepperoni wafted on the breeze.

The Squire he did charge, and took a missile to the shield.
He cast Enfeeble Being until his foe did yield!

With a smile on his face, Aeston thanked the Squire.
"I'm glad you did come to my aid; that could have been quite dire!
And now I ask you feast with me, savior of this day."

And all the feast hall did erupt...in a hip, hip, hip hooray!

"Loremaster Archives" Quiz - Part 1

The feedback and interest from the Loremaster Quiz last week was quite good and since this is another week of Queen of Hearts content, we've taken some questions from previous years of Loremaster and slapped them together into another Kahoot online quiz.

You can get to that quiz with this link!

After you're done, head on back to social media and let us know how many points you got! Some question statistics will be posted later on.

JB's Winning Jester Set - Queen of Hearts XXVII

Alright everyone, I have been told two things about me. One, I am funny, two my voice is stupid.

So I mean, I  better win this or pfft, there goes my career right? All downhill.

So I’ve been asked to talk about Tragic backstories, and I mean, we all got one, but none is more tragic then Jeffery Smormu.

I um, I am changing some names around, it helps with narrative freedom and also keeps my soul from being ripped from me in the bathroom.

Now Jeffery Smormu has the saddest tale I ever heard, not because he's an orphan, I mean, everyone’s an orphan.

It’s when you actually HAVE parents that the trouble starts right? Listen I have a lord name Syruss, and a demon went and said “Hey Syruss, my son, you see that baby over there. Go kill it.”

And Syruss, lord of Neden, first of his name said “Sure thing dad.”

So if Syruss had NO parents, a lot more people would.

So being an orphan? Not so bad.

No see, Jeffery Smormu started his first event at a Queen of Hearts, like this one! And the trouble started when Aeston said “Hey guys, I have a great new Idea for a maneuver.” And thus was born Hadrin’s Noun.

You all DO remember Hadrin’s Noun right? It’s quite simple. There are four orbs, Life, Substance, Direction, and Future. You grab each one in both hands, cant use weapons that'd be mad, and you have to arrange them in accord to a sequence of runic encoded patterns.

But of course, not that easy, You cant turn with the direction orb, you cant heal with the orb of life, and of course if the Life orb and the future orb touch then well, tis a cry of life and…

You know what, who cares about Hadrin’s Noun, let's talk about Cry of Life, I’ve noticed some weird things about it. You see… back in my day, which for some of you might as well mean last week, we didn’t use Cry of Life very much. I asked a healer, oh you might not know about those. So basically when you learned magic you were locked into our arcanic class hierarchy, it wasn’t so bad, mostly meant if you wanted Embrace death you had to take a lot of buy downs. But I was asking the healer about why we never use Cry of Life. And they said “Well dummy, if you use it, all the bad guys are gonna come back, and you just spent all that time trying to kill them.”

You see back in our day… well we used to win fights. Now, Cry of life, not so bad a spell.

But you got to work on timing. I saw someone who, thought he nailed the timing. Everyone was getting rolled, it was goblins, it was always goblins.

So he gets up, he takes a deep breath goes “All in the sound of my voice.”

And bless his heart, thats when his dainty little sphincter gave out.

PFBLTLBPFFT

It's quiet for a bit, and  then a dead body, I think in Grimloch, raised a hand “Um… disease?”

And anyway, that’s why Jeffery has no parents.

Battlecry!

 Battlecry!

This is a weekly bulletin for practices in the Realms.  Practices are one of the most important facets to the Realms, it is a place where many people are introduced to the game, as well as a place to enjoy the company and meet new members of the community.  Even if you are not a fighter, it is still a great form of exercise, as well as a way to hone your combat skills, which is an important skill for helping out at events while NPCing.  A lot of what makes a great combatant in the Realms has to do with muscle memory and building a good intuition for combat, which can only happen with consistent practice, so make sure to try and stop by your local practice as often as possible

Tuesday

Western Massachusetts Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1857)

6:00pm-8:00pm - West Street Playground, Ludlow, MA

Details

• Practice consists of a mix of individual and group combat.

• Loaner weapons are not available.

• Water is not available, bring your own water.

• Public restrooms are available on site.

• Masks are optional.

• This is outdoors and inclement weather is very likely to limit attendance.

Important Notes

• None this week.

Weather

• It is going to be in the mid 70’s with a chance of thunderstorms.  Keep an eye out for updates.

Riverhawk Summer Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1871)

5:30pm-10:30pm - Frothingham Park (15 Park St), North Easton, MA

Details

• Practice consists of a mix of individual and group combat.

• Loaner weapons are available.

• Water is not available, however there is a nearby convenience store.

• Public restrooms are available on site.

• Masks are recommended, but not required.

Important Notes

• None this week.

Weather

• It is going to be in the mid 70’s with a chance of thunderstorms.  Keep an eye out for updates.

Wednesday

Nashua Blackwood Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1857)

4:00pm-8:00pm -Greely Park (Concord St), Nashua, NH

Details

• Practice consists of a mix of individual, squad, and line battles, as attendees prefer.

• Loaner weapons are available.

• There is no water on site, bring your own.

• Public restrooms are available on site.

• While a few people might be there around 4:00, 5:00 is a more likely time to get started.

• We set up near the grills and tables on the West side of Concord St, just off the access road to the north of the public restrooms.

• Masks are optional.

• This is outdoors and inclement weather is very likely to limit attendance.

Important Notes

• None this week.

Weather

• This week will be partly cloudy and in the mid 80’s.

Central CT Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1860)

6:00pm-9:00pm - Pierson Park, 5 West St, Cromwell, CT

Important Notes

• Practice consists of a mix of individual training and if attendees are interested, team combat and combat games.

• Loaner weapons available.

• Water fountains are available in season, best to bring your own drinking water however.

• Public restrooms available on site.

Updates

• None this week.

Weather

• This week will be sunny and in the mid 80’s.

Thursday

Stratham Hill Fight Practice (https://www.realmsnet.net/events/1859)

6:00pm-8:00pm - Stratham Hill Park, Stratham, NH

Important Notes

• Practice consists of individual combat for the first half, and ditch style team combat for the second half.

• Masks are optional.

• Loaner weapons are available.

• Water is available on site, but bring your own container.

• On-site bathroom.

Updates

• None this week.

Weather

• This week will be partly cloudy and in the mid 80’s.

Meme Monday

 by the Meme Team

What you Missed - Queen of Hearts XXVII: Photo Edition

All photos by View Staff

Both teams assembled at the start of the day.

A field battle.

The Open Fighter tournament

Hadrian's Wall

Targetball

Rhiassan Live Chess

Grand Teamwork

The Bridge Battle

Water Missile Melee

Castle Battles

Sword & Shield Squad

Florentine Squad

Freija becoming Lord Sir Gwen's Squire

Team Elwin's Performance

10-Person Folkestone Challenge

10-Person Bridge Battles

52-Card Pickup in the Challenge Race

Squire Freija and Squire Charlotte face off for Champion of Rhiassa

Queen's War

The Award Ceremony

The crowning of Queen Elwin

What You Missed - Rhiassa Presents: Queen of Hearts XXVII

By Renee "Kindrianna" Booke

It was with great excitement that I made my way to the lands of Rhiassa for Queen of Hearts. This Realms tradition has been a summer favorite for many years, and the dedicated team behind it was looking to mix things up and reinvent the wheel. This year, two team organizers worked to build their team rosters from everyone across the community who wanted to compete. The organizers were His Majesty, Sir Magus Alexander Cecil, King of Chimeron, and Lord Sir Elwin of Stonewood.

The teams that ultimately took the field were Team Lily and Team Elwin and featured a wide variety of talent on both sides. Team Lily had General Alias, Seneschal Jean Baptiste, and Provost Kovaks, while Team Elwin originally had General Grindin (who was drafted by the other team and replaced by General Avendar), Seneschal James Swift, and Provost Stewhart.

The tournament had all the classic and iconic war maneuvers that I look forward to The Antonine Wall, Rhiassan Live Chess, Grand Kill the Queen, etc. My favorite this year had to be Hadrian’s Wall, however. Team Lily pushed us hard, and their solid strategy and teamwork snagged them the win. I remember running all over the field like crazy trying to support multiple fronts the best I could. It was a great adrenaline rush.

One thing that was different this year was the non-com tourneys. The twist was that Performance, Armor, Banner, Foamsmith, Garb, and the like, were not prepared ahead of time. Instead, teams were provided with kits of assorted random materials and challenged to make their piece that day before the presentations Saturday evening. Crafters were challenged to be both resourceful and creative, limited to the materials given to them and whatever tools they decided to bring. The armorer tourney, as an example, featured unique entries such as an armored loincloth made by Hygar with the assistance of a rock, and an armored garter. The Garb tournament spawned the new sleepwear fad- the “Knightie.”

During a brief court that evening, Freija was named Sir Gwen’s Squire to the Knights of Rhiassa, and Sir Elwin became a Knight of the Sable Dragon. Heartfelt congratulations to both of you, and well deserved on all counts!

After the tournaments, my evening became a blur as my countryfolk decided to go hunting for dinner on the western flank, but I returned to hear news of necromancers in the woods and adventurers trying to stop some kind of dark ritual. They had found a creepy staff with eyeballs, and I was told that upon touching it, one could hear the screams of trapped souls. Ultimately, not my cup of tea.

On a brighter (and warmer) note, Sunday ushered in many of the epic 10 Person squad battles, as well as an exciting Queen’s War. The team Aces killed it all weekend, and I was continually impressed by their dedication and fortitude despite the heat of the day. Saturday, they fought in mini versions of all the war maneuvers, and Sunday they were required to be in all of the 10-person fights. It was thrilling to watch!

The Queen’s War ended with a victory earned by Stewhart, and Mogar hoisted him into the air in celebration. We were all happy for the tournament’s conclusion and enjoyed some shade and water post-fight before the award ceremony. The final win went to Team Elwin, but you can read about the results more in-depth at View From Valehaven: Queen of Hearts XXVII Results. Many thanks go out to Rhiassa, and our other dedicated community members who made this event possible. It is not an easy undertaking but each year you manage to create a fun and challenging event that everyone looks forward to. I can’t wait to see what next year will bring.