Conspiracy Monthly

By Kieran/Kyra Barry

The Three Page Spider Milk Document

Written by: Ethan "JB" Goldman

Milk Team Six, in position, ready to execute. This mission, educating the masses on the where's, whys and how's of Spider Milk Extraction and Refinement. The stakes, minimal, the resources, lower. Odds of victory: certain. 

Beginning mission.

Spider Milk, known by the scientific name Lac Aranea is a oft misunderstood substance, considered “Dangerous” or “Gross” or “Why we shouldn’t we just murder and eat all the Spiders”? However Spider Milk is one of the most powerful and versatile substances in all the Nine Realms Plus Several Others. It brings death, power, and everything in between, which is of course, everything. However how do you harness it, why would you use it? And most of all… just WHAT is a Spider Milk anyway.

To first answer this question we must contemplate the void, as we always do, look not to what a spider milk is, but what it ISNT, the answer is in the absence as always. Spider Milk is NOT a milk, its a spider milk, spiders don't have milk that would be ridiculous on the very face of it, and why would Norlund be ridiculous? 

Of course the answer that MANY believe is that there simply isn't a answer, and that Justari is simply playing a little gag upon the world, even though Justari isn’t from Norlund so that would be a weird statement… However I believe the answer is much deeper, I will provide two answers, and I will state for the record I believe both are true in a 20/80 percent ratio.

1. All spiders who are milkable serve the huntsman, the huntsman, sporting beast of the hunt he is, created a material that is incredibly useful that is only found on spiders to encourage humans to attempt to kill his very servants. The key is attempt as spiders are ambush predators. Thus the spiders are granted the opportunity to catch prey and be pray and the hunt in both its forms are venerated and his power known.

2. Spider Milk represents the liquid concentration of divine will. The Milk Gland actually exists on two different plans the divine and physical, unlike the God who exists only on the divine except in cases of avatar, and the Spider who exists only in the physical plane. From the Milk gland divine ichor can be transmuted to physical essence and allow the god to cultivate their minions as extensions of its own power. While this is normally presented in a Halo, blood, or other stigmata, because of the nature of the spider as a entity of poison and the Huntsman entity as a figure of death, this meridian forms within the venom gland, allowing it to be harvested before the milk dissolves within the body. This is why the milk can only be harvested from a dead spider, a living spider is already harnessing their Milk Meridian.

This may seem unusual, however it is correlated within the uses of milk. Milk, once properly extracted and contained within a patented spider milk storage vial, has many alchemical uses.

The first is perhaps the most easily to understand which is reintegrating within a living body. Because Spider Milk is inherently a medium between divine and physical magic, it can be reintegrated into a physical medium to impart divine abilities. Of course spider milk is toxic because of its natural ties to death essence meaning if not transmuted into different properties the milk will simply kill you. Fortunately, perhaps as according to the Huntsman’s will, Spider Milk is not a fully formulated magical essence, thus it is far easier to shape into a palatable form when compared to other magics such as TitanX. Simply put by shaping the magic using a holy rune, such as the symbol of a anvil, the magic will be shaped by the appropriate god and provide the direct, uncultivated blessing of that god as the milk opens your own Meridians to that gods divine magic. Of course with greater time and longer efforts one can truly and more permanently tie ones body to the divine form of the god buuuuut that requires being in Norlund and hanging out with dinosaurs and having fun, so I cant imagine that will ever happen again. 

To fully understand how this works you need to understand that in Norlund there are three key elements that permeate the world and thus stain its chi. There is Death, symbolized by red, Rebirth that is symbolized by yellow and of course, Blue, which is symbolized by the color blue. Blue Chi is blue chi, I don't know how I can simplify it more, its like, the manifestation of the realms artificial influence, the inherent blueness of steel and arcane magic? Listen its okay if you don't understand, but that's a whole other article and this one isn’t really gonna do numbers anyway because I didn't put a gods symbol at the front.  NOW of course there is muddled chi representing the secondary fusions of these traits, Violence, aka Blue and Death, Yggdrasil, supported by Life and Death, and finally 3 Path Stuff supported by Rebirth and Blue. By using the appropriate milk color and shaping it into a holy symbol that magic will not only permeate the users skin in the appropriate shape, but this appropriateness allows the magic to better absorb into the divine sigil created, thus forming a artificial meridian binding the milk’s power to your skin and allowing it to pull into the rest of your body and your own personal Soul. Fortunately they aren't permanent huh?

Second is, with the appropriate Yggdrasillian wood, (which, because the intense magic within the wood, can only be gathered by complicated entreatments to the spirit or most commonly, carved from the remains of Yggdrasil that form after disasters (Which Norlund was filled with)) one can imbue much more complicated benefits. The reason for this is simple, because Yggdrasil is the world tree, by shaping that trees wood with divine magic, shaped by moral desires, Yggdrasil interprets the message as a divine command, and acts according to the request. Essentially these scrolls are small Interventions, using the ink of the gods to mimic a divine seal. However because the divine stain Norlund so heavily, it can be said even the most secular magic in Norlund is a divine act. Such is the way of things. Naturally the wood needs to be bigger for dinosaurs then human, and if a dinosaur one was used on a mortal the Hero would be unlikely to survive the saturation, but that goes without saying does it not.

Lastly is Spider Milks last use as a chemical reagent. As Spider Milk exists in two planes by using Spider Milk one can incorporate unnatural levels of flavor and subtly that  take a properly trained pallet to appreciate. This naturally produces arcane phenom because the chemical process is also accompanied by a astral process within the Upper domain.

Hopefully this instructional guide has increased your understanding of the nature and power behind spider milk. Remember while spider milk requires death it DOESNT require rendering, so make sure to take care of your spiders as they take care of you. I have seen similar spider milk like glands in other species but um, it can be weird harvesting them. The closest thing for a human is blood magic but everyone gets really judgmental about that one, Milk is a lot better and there isn't a Milk Witch who gets empowered by every use of spider milk. That would be whacky. 

Anyway I hit 3 pages so I am done with my boast.

Meme Monday

 by the Meme Team

What You Missed - Neden BBQ [Photos Edition]

 

Yay prizes

 

Plenty of combat tournaments

 

Keeping people hydrated, inebriated, and... fortunated?

 

Neden boys

 

Part of the tournaments of sobriety

 

Gotta have some gambling

 

The straight line battle

 

Disc golf, of course

Tuilli gets Knighted to the Knights of the Steward!

The new Number 2, Jean Baptiste

 

What You Missed - Neden BBQ

Written by: Emma "Irri" Sherman 

Traveling to Neden this past weekend was a chance to embrace great weather and greater friends. The day started with your standard barbeque foods, a lovely bar supplied by Ser Elizah (with some delicious mocktails that I thoroughly enjoyed), and some limited tournaments marshaled by Meatball. There were also hidden cashes of treasure hidden throughout the land which many bravely set out to find. For those uninterested in fighting, the Tournaments of Sobriety were there! I drank so much water, and got prizes for it!

As the sun set on the Castle, court was called. Murmur (Tulli) was Knighted into the Knights of the Steward. Lilly was squired to the Knights of the Steward. Bestie JB was made Neden’s Second by Sir Syruss.

Overall, it was a nice day to spend with friends.

Sincerely,

Initiate Irri

Word from the West - Ghost of CHANce: Fixing Chan

Organized by:  Brookelyn "Rowan" Gingras

Written by: John "Gordon" Rescigno

Discovered near the grounds of the Church of Aurora in Chimeron City is a piece of paper, cracked and broken but held together with jagged lines of red material, and painful to the touch.

“You must have missed a domino. I appreciate your meddling, and look forward to seeing you all again. Our time together in Darkvale was too short for my liking, and with my current power I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to host you as I would prefer.

Thank you for providing me a vessel to come into this new realm, though no doubt I will tire of it soon. In the meantime, I’m sure little Danny and I will be fast friends."

What You Missed - Ghost of CHANce: Fixing Chan

Written by: Alistair "Kasca" Gilmour

Long ago, Sir Chan Ottokar sacrificed himself to protect his friends and ensure Rexan’s defeat.  Nearly two years later, Adventurers of the Realms stepped up to venture into Gaol and recover the pieces of their fallen friend.

After Margaret opened a portal to Gaol, we found ourselves in Garm’s domain.  He was prepared for our arrival and put on display the soul we sought to reconstruct and the scales we had to balance.  Our objectives were clear: Purify Angelbane, cleanse Corruption with the Hammer of Justice, fight for the fragments of Chan, and balance the scales so that the purpose of his sacrifice would not be undone.

We set out to meet the Silver Legion, and the spirit of Darkvale confronted us along the way.  The angel, Chan, greeted us and reunited with his old friends.  After much discussion, the angel insisted on purifying Angelbane.  N was willing to surrender the cursed weapon, but there was a misunderstanding, and the Silver Legion took Angelbane by force.

Justari’s Red Knight met us after our unsuccessful return and warned us about the forces we were meddling with.  Chan’s soul bore the weight of many sins he committed during his life, and that weight had to be lifted before we could restore his soul.  There were twelve sins, and twelve noble adventurers stepped up to take them as their own.

Purifying Angelbane was not the only reason why we sought the Silver Legion.  We also needed a divine spark to reforge the Hammer of Justice.  We were hoping for Chan’s wings, but couldn’t negotiate for them, so we had to make do with what we had, and we split into two teams.

One team set out to fight for Chan’s identity as a Knight of the Crown, but Zula bois stood in their way.  Not even swords imbued with light were enough to fight the Infinite Dark, and the adventurers were forced to retreat.

Meanwhile, a smaller team of adventurers brought pieces of the Hammer of Justice to Hephaestus, the god of the forge, so that he could reforge it.  He requested embers to light his forge, and slime to glue the pieces together.  James Swift, determined to prove his devotion, collected so much slime from the bog that even Hephaestus was surprised!  With the forge lit and the hammer covered in slime, Hephaestus went to work and reforged it, then he used the hammer to cleanse Corruption.

The two teams reunited, adventurers set out to claim the Red Branch in Fae, but something was strange.  Upon entering the plane, everyone became fae, and the fae became even more fae.  They scrambled to avoid Wayland blades, eventually stealing the red branch and running.  Those who were less fortunate were rescued by a fae dragon who wanted to be their best friend forever and ever and ever…

We knew we had to confront Dionin’s Avatar, but before we did, we had to right one of Chan’s wrongs.  Margaret carried the skulls of the angels Chan had slain, and it was time to bring them back to life.  A great ritual was conducted, and we succeeded.  The angel Chan sought us out, and we told him our plans to confront Dionin’s Avatar.  If we were to bring Chan back as a mortal, both the angel of the Silver Legion and Dionin’s Avatar could exist no longer.  The angel understood and accepted the fact.

We set out to battle Dionin’s Avatar. The angel confronted him directly while the rest of us fought his minions.  It was a long, brutal battle made difficult by the Avatar’s resilience, but when it appeared we’d run out of time, all shining steel was granted Valor, and we made one final push and emerged victorious.

Our task wasn’t yet complete. We still needed to balance the scales.  We all scrambled and sacrificed parts of our souls to match the sacrifice that killed Chan in the first place.  Our time quickly ran out, and Garm shut himself in his office to check the scales.  He emerged to tell us we were successful and sent us away, but our balancing act wasn’t perfect, and a fragment of Rexan, the slain god, escaped into the Realms.

In due time, the Storyteller will use the fragments of Chan’s soul to create a new being named Amawar.  Before the book can be closed, the final chapter must be written, and that responsibility has fallen to me.

Why I Want To Go - Ashen Adventures

Written by: Greg "Daekara" Falconer

For several years now Ashenmark has throw a fascinating plot with fun mechanics and great encounters in a far off isle of Pacifica. With content that engaged the players from building their own town to fun little mini dungeons to help support the over arching quest there is constantly something to do to engage in some way. The staff is fun and provides both hilarious and dramatic moments. With this event being the finally you’ll get to see what adventures have worked towards and help take down Thea Dalma an encounter that will have stories told about it
for years to come. There are few spots left so you should pre reg now!

Introducing the Rhiassa Tube (W)!

by Jason "Aeston" Rosa

If you frequent the Realms Discord and have spent any time catching up on the #weapon-construction channel there isn't a lot I'm going to say that you don't already know. But in an attempt to keep the majority of the game properly informed, I would like to tell you all about the Rhiassa Tube (W).

As most of you know, the majority of manufacturers for the 5/8" foam that we use for weapons have stopped producing it. This has been a slow process as stock of the foam can still be found here or there but ultimately the situation is near it's breaking point. There are various solutions to this problem that have been pursued by people across the community with various ranges of success.

I would like to introduce you all to my attempt to address this problem, the Rhiassa Tube (W).

fig1. From left to right: A pool noodle, the current common Frost King Foam, Rhiassa Tube (W)

The Rhiassa tube W, simply stated, is a custom manufactured extrusion of polyethene foam. This is the same type of foam that is used in Frost King insulation. I located an oversees manufacturer in Asia that would produce this foam per specifications. The white material on the right in the above photo is a sample of that material.

I set out to verify that this new foam was at least equal in quality to Frost King. I'm going to run through some of the testing I did in this article. 

At the end I will talk about the ordering process. Scroll down to the bottom if you want to skip the science and get to the business.

First I thought it would be wise to take a close look at the size of the cells in the foam. Larger cells are an indication of a weaker material as there is less support for the structure of the foam internally.

fig2. Equally magnified, the cell structure of each material

The fact that the new material is white makes it a bit harder to see but it's clear that the cell size is smaller than a pool noodle and somewhat equivalent, if not a little smaller, than the Frost King foam.

In order to try and get an understanding of how it would hold up to compression, an indication of how long it would last in combat before it wore out, I used some woodworking clamps.

fig 3. The clamp I used to test compression

fig 4. The clamp placed on each material.

It is clear how much more the pool noodle compresses, and we already know through anecdotal evidence that pool noodles break down a lot quicker. The Rhiassa Tube (W) compresses to a degree that is comparable to the Frost King foam.

To further test compression and help predict how much the foam would hold up through use, I designed another compression test. I took a small ring of each foam and put a piece of bamboo in the center to simulate a core material. I placed it inside my workshop vice with the aim of popping as many cells as I could by squeezing it.

fig 5. The testing method used in this second compression test. Top-left: the rings of foam I tested. Top-right: marking the sides that would be squeezed with red marker and the bamboo core insert. Bottom-left: the degree to which each foam sample was compressed. Bottom-right: The foam cut into pieces for measuring with the clamp.

Once I had cut the foam down to work with more easily, I subjected it once again to the woodworking clamp. My assumption is that how much it compressed would give us an indication of how many cells broke and how well the foam would hold up to repeating stress in combat.

fig 6. The compression of the clamp on each material after being crushed in the vice.

In this test it seemed that the Rhiassa Tube (W) really showed its merit. It compressed the least and seems to have had the least number of cells be destroyed in the vice. It was a good indication that this new material would work for us.

Among the tests that I did was a simple mass measurement to make sure weapons made with this foam would be about the same weight as our current ones. Putting a 6" length of each type of foam on a scale I got the following results (in grams): 

So the Rhiassa Tube (W) does have a bit more mass. It is slightly more dense and that is probably what contributes to the smaller cell size and the better performance against compression. But I believe it's not so much extra weight as to make weapons too heavy. A standard single short that has 30" of foam on it would weigh 1 gram more than a sword make with Frost King.

In the next test I wanted to try compression over a longer period of time, so I set up a rig that would allow me to weigh down a sample of each tube and see how much it compressed over time. Two pounds of weight was set on top of each foam sample.

fig 7. The testing set up for sustained compression.

I ran the experiment for 24 hours to get an idea of how much the foam would compress over time and how much it would go back to its original shape after the compression experiment ended. The results are below.

Again, the new foam performed well. Much better than the pipe foam as it compressed less overall and also returned much more closer to its original diameter. It was a very similar performance to that of the Frost King foam.

I also wanted to try a puncture test, a measurement of how much abuse the material could take from incidental damage like hitting a stick when swung in the woods or catching the edge of some rigid armor. Things that happen more rarely but are still a part of the reality of combat.

I created a testing rig using a Philips head screwdriver to do the puncturing. It would allow me to measure how much weight would need to be added to the top of the screwdriver in order to move it into the foam a certain amount.

fig 8. The puncture test. Left: The screwdriver that was used. Center: The testing rig. Right: The red lines show how far the screwdriver would have to move for me to end the test and record the weight.

In the case of each type of foam the weight would, at first, cause the foam to compress. But for the screwdriver to move the full distance between the red lines shown in figure 8, the screwdriver did have to puncture through the foam's surface. The amount of weight needed to move the distance between the lines in shown in the table below.

As with every other test up until now the performance of the Rhiassa Tube (W) is much better than that of a pool noodle and comparable to that of Frost King. In this case in particular, anecdotal observation leads me to believe that the extrusion process of the white foam leads to a slightly more dense "skin" around its exterior which helped it perform better in this test.

I did one quick final test to gain some insight into the tensile strength of the foam. I placed a PVC core in each of them which I attached to a surface. On the other end I placed a different piece of PVC pipe and suspended two pounds of weight. I was endeavoring to see how much the foam between the two lengths of PVC would deform under the stress of the weight pulling down.

fig 9. The set up for the tensile strength test.

I measured how much bend there would be in each foam sample. My assumption is that less bend indicates a material that is more internally robust and deforms less due to stress. The results were as follows:

In this case the pool noodle performed better than expected, but in retrospect that is largely due to the larger internal diameter and greater wall thickness which would allow it to resist deformation to a greater extent. The Frost King foam and the Rhiassa Tube (W) however had virtually the same internal diameter and wall thickness and the Rhiassa Tube performed much better.

In conclusion, I feel confidant making the claim that the Rhiassa Tube (W) is not inferior to Frost King pipe foam and has the added advantage of not having a seam in it beyond all the tests mentioned above. I am confidant based on these results that we as a community should buy enough to be widely distributed and used, put through its paces in combat, and learn more over time. I think it's worth the investment given what it will solve.

The Part About Ordering

I have a purchase order all set up with the oversees manufacturer of the Rhiassa Tube (W). It is an order for their minimum of 1000 pieces which will be delivered directly to my door.

The price, including all tooling, shipping and handling, tariffs and taxes comes to more than $3 per 36" length of foam.

I'd like to not take on the entire financial burden of getting them over here myself, so I am asking other groups and individuals to pre-order foam in a bundle of at least 20 pieces. Anyone who is pre-ordering in that manner will be able to get their foam for $3/piece. The remainder that I purchase and store should be enough to last the Realms for a couple of seasons at least and I will distribute that to anyone who wants any amount of it for $4/piece.

The whole processes of manufacturing and shipping will take about 6 weeks so my hope is to order by the end of the month so we can get our foam in June.

If anyone is willing to be a part of the pre-order please send me a private message over social media or email me at jason.t.rosa@gmail.com

Thank you for reading along this far and I hope you are looking forward to the results of this endeavor as much as I am.

In service,

Jason

fig 10. Foamy, the mascot of Rhiassa Tube (W)

Introducing Saurian Sprint!

by Jason "Aeston" Rosa

Several years ago Rhiassa Games introduced to the Realms a brand new table game called Luck of the Lion, seen since then at several Feast of the Leviathan events and at the Clontarf Shuffle as well. The will behind that project was to introduce custom Realms-themed table games to the community to make the casino experience in our game more unique.

Now Rhiassa Games, with the kind cooperation of the Saurabian Casino and the Church of Tychasaurus, would like to introduce the next table game in that series.

Saurian Sprint!

Saurian Sprint is meant to capture the feel of being in Norlund watching the dinosaur races on a sunny day, a betting slip in your hand, hoping to take it all on the long odds of a dark hose (dino) coming from behind and winning big. It's a dynamic, interactive table game where anything can happen with the next roll of the dice.

Nine dinosaurs start lined up to race on the track on the left side of the board. That series of squares is meant to represent a 3-lap race track (with the final lap elongated to simulate how hard it is to bring it all home when exhaustion starts to set in).

The dealer rolls two six-sided dice and the result indicates which dinosaur then moves one space forward on its track. If the same result comes up twice in a row it could even result in some bonus movement for some of the dinosaurs. The dealer continues to roll the dice and move dinos forward until a first, second, and third place cross the finish line.

There are lots of ways to bet during Saurian Sprint!

In the center of the table are a series of red rectangles that are the prop bets. These are all bets that must be made before the race begins and are of all kinds, from betting on the specific place dinos will finish in to bets about which dinos will outpace other dinos.

To the right of all the prop bets are the place bets. These are bets about which dinosaurs will have crossed the finish line when the race is over. WIN means being the first dino to cross the finish line. PLACE means being the first or second dino to cross. SHOW means being the first, second, or third to cross.

The largest block of bets where you can see WIN, PLACE, and SHOW are all bets that must be made before the race starts, but you can also place bets during the middle of the race.

As the race develops and you can see which dinosaurs sprint out ahead, you can make further bets. While all dinosaurs are still on the first lap, you can make bets on which ones will WIN or PLACE. And as long as no dino has crossed onto the final lap, you make still make bets on which one will WIN. All these bets are further on the right side of the board.

A more thorough explanation of the rules and odds can be found on the Rhiassa web page at: http://rhiassa.com/games/gambling.html

Rhiassa games is proud to introduce this game to the Realms and have it premiere at this year's Clontarf Shuffle in a few weeks.

Special thanks to Pi Fisher for calculating all of the odds for this game and Carol Wohlmuth for painting the dinosaur minis.

Meme Monday

 by the Meme Team

Word from the West - Echoes of Ragnarok: The Conclusion

Written by: Brookelyn "Rowan" Gingras & Nixon "Jasper" Showalter

(The following document was recovered by our ally adventurers fighting on the Western Flank in the land of Norlund.)

–   NOTICE OF DISCIPLINARY ACTION  -

Name of Offender:                                                Commanding Officer:

Ibnade-Yigol Pholdri, Infantry Cadet                        Dathon Perthi, Mounted War Captain

Date of Incident:                                                  Nature of Violation:

4/13/1024                                                         Insubordination

Details of Occurence:

On the 13th of April during our second stand against the intruders, Cadet Pholdri and I attempted to recruit another dinosaur mount for our army. Though it was land-bound, as opposed to the pterodactyls the officers were riding, my underlings continued to request mounts of their own. We encountered a riderless dinosaur working with the intruders that they referred to as “Alpacasaurus”. This creature repeatedly collapsed dead on the ground, providing ample opportunity to approach and capture it. I was feeling generous and allowed Pholdri to attempt to tame their own mount, and by the time I went to check on them again they were successfully riding their own dinosaur. I would be lying if I did not say I was proud. However, Pholdri’s actions following this feat were extremely disappointing. While I was hoping to reward them with the mount for good behavior, it was my mistake to think they could handle the pressure of handling their own dinosaur. Atop their commandeered Alpacasaurus, Pholdri began to collude with the intruders, winning their affection and breaking through their lines. I was hoping that they would begin using their mount to make a surprise attack on the enemy, however I quickly realized that Pholdri had betrayed us. As much as I tried to convince them to turn against their new friends, the traitor had seemingly forgotten that they must listen to their superior. As I ordered them to slay the foes around them, the intruders attempted to convince Pholdri to kill me instead, and their pleas were not going unheard. While demonstrating how easily my underlings could be turned against me, this insubordination enabled the intruders to further progress through the maze of webs. Alas, I fear our alliance with the Huntsman has been strained due to the failure in our mission to create the new spirit of Yggdrasil, and furthermore the loss of one of the rare Megaspiders essential to our supply of spider milk. Reports from the western flank informed us that it was the same Alpacasaurus who absconded with the missing Megaspider - yet another consequence that may have been avoided if not for Cadet Pholdri’s actions.

Expected Improvement:

Cadet Pholdri must improve their ability to follow orders and respect the chain of command. From here on out, they may not be rewarded with a personal mount until they have proven they can handle the responsibility. If Pholdri fails to demonstrate improvement, they will be denied opportunities to advance in their position and will not be entrusted with further assignments.

Offender Statement:

I sincerely regret my actions which questioned my allegiance to my fellow soldiers, no matter how much fun the temptation was. I tamed Alpacasaurus with the full intent to use the enemies’ trust against them, but found myself unprepared against the foreign adventurers’ enticement to join in their jovial antics. I will not make the same mistake again.

Riding atop Alpacasaurus was the most joyous moment of what I now realize is my dreary life. Give me whatever punishment you deem fit, but I’ll be damned if I don’t make the same decision of fun over obedience again at the nearest opportunity.

No regrets - You only live once.

Cadet Ibnade-Yigol Pholdri

What You Missed - Rhiassa Presents: Echoes of Ragnarok: The Conclusion - Yggdrasill

By: Matt “Vesper” Hewitt

After many years of waiting, we can close the book on the Saga of Ragnarok.

While many adventurers traveled to Norlund this past weekend, I personally answered the call eager for the opportunity to  no longer be a deadbeat godly parent. We reunited with Jarl Ulric of the Jomsvikings who informed us that, while yes Norlund was now safe from Bedlam and new Aesir gods were doing their jobs well, the plane still faced much hardships due to an out of control world tree as well as many spiders which had mysteriously found a way to travel between Yggdrasil’s  branches to spread destruction. Suddenly a humanoid spider appeared telling us he was one of the new Aesir and we could call him The Huntsman, which I must admit is a very cool moniker, and how he was created by some dashing adventurers in an unholy ritual with stolen godly sparks. The Huntsman let us know that while yes, he was a god of death he was also a god of the hunt, thus we were challenged to a competition. If we could fix the tree despite his forces he would give up on the destruction of all living things as well as eating one of the cupcakes I had baked him as an apology for being an absent parent. 

Thus the game was on, we entered the web covered branches of Yggdrasil which the spiders had made their home and found the first acorn that was required to guide the growth of the world tree, the bones of some mysterious creature, and many enemies. Sir Jean Baptise, Tony of Stonewood, and Sir Nos formed an elite spider milking team dubbed “Milk Team Six'' who would milk the venom from all dead spiders to create magic tattoos. Sir Orion led our dinosaur cavalry’s galant charge through many walls and webs. The first acorn was returned and the tree partially guided. Upon the newly formed path was a nicer one of my grandkids named Bartholomew who had made his web on this branch in an attempt to make friends. We freed some trapped vikings, promised Bartholomew to be his friends then continued on our way. Another trip through the web covered branches, another acorn found, and another part of the tree guided. 

Another giant spider named Eduardo, a single father of a clutch of babies rested near the edge of a branch. More vikings sat on the other side of the void between the two branches and asked us to kidnap the baby spiders and create them a bridge to cross. We consulted the fae of our group on how to properly kidnap a sleeping child and began our task. A bridge created, another trip into a web maze, much glory earned, more bones found, and another guided tree section. 

Lastly we entered a room with a giant spider named Ricardo who was chained to a wall and starved by the vikings. We freed and fed Ricardo who gave us the final acorn we would need and left for Saurabia under the guidance of Alpacasaurus. Upon returning the last acorn a path opened to the center of the Yggdrasil where we would need to assemble the mysterious bones we had gathered into a Vanir god which would become bound to the tree as its arborist. When the bones were assembled correctly they transformed into a small triceratops which was promptly named Kota. The Huntsman had lost, threw a tantrum about losing, did not eat his just deserts, and left. Children, what can you do? 

With Yggdrasil now managed, I believe the realms of Norlund may finally be back to a balanced state of existence.

Why I Want To Go - Neden BBQ

Written by: Anna “Hedda” Hewitt

I have never graced the lands of Neden with my presence.  I think it's far past due. 

I have a lot of questions about this "tournament of sobriety" they speak of and the competitive hydration contest. I am not one to lose at anything so I am sure I can outlast!

The allure of a poker tournament hasn't escaped my eye, if you know anything about me gaining more coin is always a positive.

It does seem as though I will have to keep my whits about me and stay awake for all the fanfare. To the truth you must remember, when were Medieval armies too tired to fight?

When they had a lot of sleepless knights!

Awaken yourself and draw yourself from your bedchambers. It's time to join me in the enjoyment of nedens lands. 

Even if you are not one of the sleepless knights who are resting from the battles of the day. They seem to have festivities for those who are less combative as well. 

I am curious as to how the waters of Neden fare? Quality of waters and drink alike tell a lot about a nation! They’re also accepting a form of sustenance of canned food donations. Who ever knew food could be contained so! 

I am curious as well to the benefits they speak of for bringing some of this mysterious food to their lands. And though you may have slain many dragons and beast, I care not. You are still privy to put the latrine seat down! 

If you have been unsure as to why you shall join me in my adventures in the Neden, I assume I have remedied your apprehension. If I have yet to convince you to join me in this, I shall challenge you to come and beat me in the ensuing competitions. 

-Whan-Hedda con Atlantis, Squire of Blackwood

Why I Want To Go - Ghost of a CHANce: Fixing Chan

by: Brianna "Margaret" Meisser

In my home plane we have a coming of age ritual known as the trials. I can’t get into too many details here, as I hope that some of you may someday undergo these trials. But one of these trials deals with regrets. I took the trials when I was 15, and was confronted with the death of my good friend Chan. A decade before it would happen. I didn’t understand what it meant at the time, but my regrets over this day have followed me throughout the web of time and helped shape me into who I am today. 

But we all have regrets. Things we want to change. What makes this one any different? Maybe if my friend had been able to enjoy his death, in service to the Just god and Hope’s Daughter, things would be different. But that is not what happened. The manipulations from an enemy from afar, the wounds of betrayal, and my own desperation and incompetence worked together to create the perfect storm, a storm in which Chan lost everything and became the embodiment of an enemy whom he swore to defeat. 

So now we have my friend, whose death I severely regret, scattered to the wind. Pieces of himself torn between gods and planes and demons and nightmare. This is not how the story was supposed to end. So now I quest. To shatter the corruption within the heel of justice. To heal the wounds of betrayal. To defeat the enemy who I allowed to claw back from the dead. And maybe. Just maybe. To get back a friend in the process. 

I will see you on the other side of this,

Squire Margaret August, Lightbringer

OOC:

DI2 was my first questing event and it changed the trajectory of my realms career forever. It is where I gained confidence in myself. Where I became a Page and learned what it means to be a true Auroran. And where my character lost a good friend. Time has passed, and I don’t expect things to be the same as they were. But if there’s something I can do to help my friend, who helped me to grow into myself, find their feet and enjoy this game we play together once more. I have to try. 

They have assembled an amazing plot team who has my greatest confidence, and I cannot wait to laugh and cry (lots of crying) with them this weekend. 

This is a capped event, and if you didn’t get a slot and still want to play realms, or just to hang out with friends, I highly suggest going to the Neden BBQ which is happening the same day. Their drinks sound divine. No matter where you end up this weekend, I wish you all happy questing and a great time.

Humanizing the Realms: Ethan “Jean Baptise” Goldman

 

1. What do you do outside of the game? What would you like to be doing? (Work, school, projects, etc.)

Plastics Engineering!

2. What hobbies do you enjoy other than LARP?

I GM a few games on discord. 

3. Favorite meal, dessert, and drink?

Pho, Flan, and Kombucha. 

4. If you could go on vacation anywhere, where would it be? Would you bring anyone?

Knottsberry Farms maybe? I havent thought about it.

5. Are you working on any life goals that you’re willing to share?

There are a few but I keep putting them on the backburner for some OTHER thing or so. In this moment, I am happy, and I can't ask for much more.

6. Favorite outfit other than garb?

Um waaaaaaaay back when I got a nuka cola t-shirt thats moth eaten to hell and back but they don’t make anything like it these days anymore. 

7. Do you have any professional or personal skills you’d be willing to talk about?

I can write.  

8. What drew you to the realms, and what keeps you there?

That’s a story and a half. I was brought into the realms by Vawn and Duncan as part of a attempt to drum up publicity for the LARP club through selling cider. I am the only one who remembers the event which is how life goes. At the time I got kicked from some other dnd groups for not fitting in and needed a reason to go outside.

I stay since the skills you have transfers better in this game to actual results then in most games, where its very sheet focused.

9. Favorite movies/shows/books?

South Park and Cursed Princess Club.

10. If you happened upon 3 wishes, what would they be? (Wishing for more wishes doesn’t seem to work...)

Time and Energy, all you need. 3rd one i’d save in case nuclear war happens or something.

11. Who would you like to see interviewed next?

Elwin.

12. Anything else you’d like to add? 

Naaaaaaaaaaah.

If you'd like to do one of these interviews, send Dani Lacasse (lilpotatogem on Discord) a message to let her know!