Friday, October 3, 2025

What You Missed - Shadowlands

Stepping into the Shadow Lands, we were met with resistance—ruffians barring our path as we pushed toward Kharma and the Church. We tried to avoid a fight, truly. But Nos calling us bandits didn’t help our case. Thankfully, JB was with us, smacking us from death back into life. Turns out, a well-placed smack can be surprisingly restorative.

Jayce told us JB’s mind had been corrupted. To save him, we used the Head Key to dive into his brain. Inside, we found a map and a helpful guide—Little Guy’rus—who helped us navigate the chaos. JB’s ginger addiction turn do out to be the key to his vault, so we had to feed it. Battling through the void of his mind, we gathered the pieces we needed to break through. 

We laid out our game plan to cleanse JB’s brain. Our journey took us from “How Do You Like Them Apples” to “Drinks, Dingers, and Zingers,” then “Jerkeyville,” “Gotta Have Faith,” and finally, “Dreams and Nightmares.” Just outside the vault, we set up our hub—hunting down corrupted gnomes, apples, solo cups, beavers, blood drops, meats, dragons, coins, waxtons, barrels, and flowers. JB’s mind is... unique.

Together, we cracked the Shadowscript.

How Do You Like Them Apples: We found dragon dancing girls corrupted by bad apples. Dodging their charms, we brewed a batch of clean cider and freed them.

Drinks, Dingers, and Zingers: Little Guy’rus invited us to a Neden party. The welcome was... frosty. As a Knight of Neden, I spoke with the boys, got some clues, and somehow became a journalist for the Neden Kazoo. We debated leaving, but some persisted. We found the coasters needed to free the boys from corruption. Syrus got his karaoke moment too.

Jerkeyville: Here we met JB’s bloody side. We had to restart the jerky supply and the Baptiste Butchery. Dragons were slain. Dragons were... ground. Sir Elizah brokered a deal to save a few.

Gotta Have Faith: We descended into the Church of Shadow, crawling with shadowed versions of ourselves. Saegan tore through them, declaring our heraldry would not be worn falsely. We purified the corrupt waxtons and faced a rampaging coin golem while shadow selves vied for control of the church. 

Dreams and Nightmares: Mostly nightmares. Through divination rituals with Char, we learned our foes would be rabbits and babies. They came for our flag. Veet and I tried to shield it—failed—but created a regeneration point that healed armor. Creathorne stood firm, chanting to hold back the magic of super bunnies and babies. Veet used an intervention to reclaim our flag when it was lost. The rest of us ran flags through the darkness, gathering scattered pieces. The final battle was brutal—an invincible rabbit and a giant baby. But once they fell, JB’s mind was freed.

Vault: Two teams made it into JB’s vault, solving puzzles that unlocked hidden articles in the Neden Kazoo—revealing the truth behind the corruption.

The Escape: With the complete Neden Kazoo carried by Aiden and JB’s Virgin Blood (yes, really) in Samuel’s hands, we began our exit. A quick detour to save Char’s magic sword. Jasper led the charge as we fought our way out.

Back in the Shadow Lands, tensions rose. A beast tore through Omega Cultists—a creature unleashed that must now be dealt with. We need to gather the Keys and stop the Omega Key from forming. Hopefully not inside JB’s brain next time.

Armed with my blade—forged from a magical sausage found in Jean Baptiste’s brain vault—I venture forth to slay the beast. Hopefully, with you at my side.

Squire Whan-Hedda con Atlantis







Thursday, October 2, 2025

Why I Want To Go - Ashen Bounty XII

 By Adrian "Cronin" Cronin


Greetings fellow adventurers,

Fall is here. The crisp October air brings a scald to the tempered heat of our summer battles. A great time to offer gratitude for all of our victories, revel and reap the great harvest. And what a bounty shall be provided in the lands of Ashenmark this weekend.

Twenaria, has bewitched me with her culinary magics. As a warrior, I’ve dedicated my life to Vandor; however to know my true fury… you need only try to keep me from that kitchen. My armor will surely need adjusting for the labyrinth and any combat tournament taking place. 

The labyrinth promises great riches to the team who can complete it. Last years labyrinth presented quite the challenge, I look forward to testing my mettle in its halls once more. Tourneys will sate my appetite for battle, as it is always and honor to trade blows with the great heroes of the realms.

I too, look forward to hearing how well Ashenmark has faired since last years evacuation. They are a resilient lot, with whom I have pledged my aid in the restoration of their lands. Whatever fowl enemy threatens Ashenmark surely threatens us all. I for one will repay their hospitality with displays of prowess, honor and glory. Woe to our enemies. Glory to Ashenmark!


-Commander Cronin Barbaria of the Broken Spears Free Company


***


OOC:

This is my favorite event of the year. It’s the one I push to my fellow Broken Spears as a buffet of what the realms has to offer. Some questing, bit of feasting, tourneys and plenty of interesting activities. It’s truly not one you want to miss.

I can’t wait to unwind alongside all of you after what has been a very memorable and epic summer. Plenty ahead for the fall and winter,  but when such a bounty presents itself… you’d be a fool not revel.


-Adrian Cronin


Yom Kippur

From the staff, may you have an easy fast if you participate in today's traditions, yom tov if not. There is still an article for today about an upcoming feast event, which feels appropriate.

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Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Rumors around the Realms October 1025

  

Rumors around the Realms October 1025

Central Realms Settlements 

Reports of missing livestock have increased a bit, especially from goatherds.  When searching for the missing animals, all that is found is bits of ash.

Blackavar

Rumors of dragon activity in the northern outskirts of Blackavar. A dragon hunting organization is looking for aid.



Across the realms

It's once again heard via messages passed around for the good people of the Realms to not be alarmed that a dragon is opening its hoard to others. The missives are the same as last year by all estimates. Any who write and deposit a letter at Black and White will receive a response and a gift. Letters are to contain what is asked for so that the dragon may choose gifts as appropriate. Gifts will then be dispersed by an ambassador at a later point. All exchanges are peace bound and in good faith.

a small town of brightvale

All attempts to reach the towns of Greystone, Hollowmere, and Marrowford have been met with silence. With so few soldiers to spare, only a handful were sent to follow the old roads, but they returned with troubling reports. The towns themselves could not be found, as if they had never stood there at all. In their place were strange ruins showing decay not known to our time. Some whisper that creatures linger among them, restless, though none can say for certain what they seek.

Tuesday, September 30, 2025

Conspiracy Monthly

 By Kieran/Kyra Barry

A faux newspaper with the bolded title of Conspiracy MONTHLY. First article reads: ASHENmark’s problems are BOUNTYful. "The 100% tax rate  means the harvest is reportedly going to fund this feast allegedly. The governance of Ashenmark is in the pocket of BIG CHEESE, as desperate Ashenmark peasants must now turn to the secret reserves of cheese farmers. These secret underground cheese caves with high prices for their cave cheese reserves are kept secret from outsiders. But we at Conspiracy MONTHLY know the truth, for we dig deep. This is the most pressing problem Ashenmark faces.  We go underground on page 5!" Second article reads: Elaborate Death Courting Rituals affect Black and White Masquerade. "Courting Death by drinking poison is the hottest new trend that’s a tale as old as time. Better than death by chocolate. Which really only affects our werewolf readers. Avoid Black and White desserts.  Some sources claim keeping a mask off during the masquerade part of the night will attract Death. But these are false sources! Death has yet to show their face at any such dances, no matter how many fools spurn Big Masks! More flirting tips on page 2!" Third article reads: Swift's Suspicious Surgeries. "Second hand source claims Swift asserts that top surgery, is not, in fact, blood magic, and therefore legal in Stonewood. He hasn’t gotten to that surgery yet but he’s recently trans-planted flowers from lungs. Watch out Blackwood Spore Orcs. More on Swift’s dubious medical practices, considering he doesn’t have a medical license, on page 3." Fourth and last article reads: "DRAGONS DRAGONS MORE DRAGONS. WILL THESE RUMORS ABOUT DRAGONS DRAG-ON?? DEBUNKING DRAGON RUMORS ON PAGE 6!" End of image.


A Primer on Saurian Sprint (Dinosaur Racing)

by Jason "Aeston" Rosa


This coming weekend at Ashen Bounty, the Saurabian casino will once again open its doors to gamblers from across these great Realms. Saurian Sprint, known more colloquially as Dinosaur Racing will be amongst the game offerings. 

As the chief architect and purveyor of Saurian Sprint I have often observed that potential patrons wander over intrigued by the festivities and spectacle but are sometimes too overwhelmed by the perceived complexity of the game felt to get involved or too shy to ask questions. 

So I’d like to offer you all a primer on how to get involved in the game. If you’d like an overview of how the game works you can find it here on the Rhiassa web page but we’ll be diving a bit deeper in this article. http://www.rhiassa.com/games/gambling.html#saurian


Part 1: They’re Going for Distance

First of all let’s make clear the overall premise. There are nine dinosaur miniatures. They are racing down a track made of board-game-like spaces to establish a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winner. 

The dinosaurs move via a roll of two six sided dice which are in a dice cage. 


The total that comes up designates which dinosaur will move one space forward. The white number at the top of the track is that number(s) that activate that dinosaur. 


Please note, the language on the left side about Lap One, Lap Two and Final Lap involves placing some bets, but if you're just looking to place the most basic wagers to get involved in the game, then you can more or less ignore those words and the white lines that break up the track.


There is also a smaller black number with a B that exists for most dinosaurs. That is their bonus move. It triggers if that dinosaur activates twice in a row. On the second successive move of that dinosaur it would move its normal single space PLUS the bonus number of spaces. This bonus is not cumulative beyond that. A third successive movement would not have the bonus but a fourth consecutive movement would.

So the main mechanism of the game is pretty straightforward. The Saurian racers move according to those above rules until there is a first, second, and third dinosaur that cross the white finish line and stop on the final space on the track. Metallic trophies designate winners as they finish. 



Part 2: Simply the Bets

Looking at the betting field on the Saurian Sprint felt can be intimidating at first glance but placing a basic bet on which dinosaurs will win is easier than you think. 

People are sometimes confused by the numbers that designate payouts. 

The number is a ratio. Think of it as a fraction that you will multiply to your bet to determine how much gold you will win.

Looking at the above examples.

  • 2:1 means a multiplier of 2. So a bet of 1 gold means you would win 2 gold and receive your 1 gold bet back as well.
  • 1:2 means a multiplier of 1/2. So you would have to bet at least 2 gold on this square and ideally will only bet an even number. If you bet 2 you would receive winnings of 1 gold and get your 2 gold wager back.
  • 4:1 is a multiplier of 4. So if you were to bet big here on yellow with a 10 gold bet, you'd win 40 gold and get your 10 gold wager back too.
  • 1:1 is a multiplier of 1. So a bet of 5 gold means you win 5 gold and get your 5 gold wager back.

Now that you understand the betting numbers, lets look at the parts of the table felt you need to know about to get involved.

If you just want to come along for the ride and wager on the winners, you just need to look at this part of the table:


The numbers of the dinosaurs are listed on the right of the betting field, and you can place a wager on any of the dinosaurs either Winning, Placing, or Showing. 

  • Win: this Dino will come in first.
  • Place: this Dino will come in either first or second. 
  • Show: this Dino will come in either first, second, or third. 

Obviously the payout is better if you are betting on narrower outcomes, so betting on the black dinosaur to Win, for example, will get a better payout if it comes in first place compared to someone who bet on him to Show.

Dinosaurs towards the middle of the track have lower payouts because they are more likely to be activated by the roll of the dice and therefore more likely to cross the finish line.

Don't be fooled, however, into thinking every race is a simple bell curve of the innermost dinosaurs beating the outermost. Life, and random chance, is rarely that neat and simple. We consistently have some very surprising outcomes. 

The bets made on this part of the table are very straightforward. You pick one or more dinosaurs that you have a good feeling about, you put money down, and then you get to be fully engaged in the spectacle of the race, cheering for your dinosaur along with the crowd.

One last detail, because so much of the betting field can be covered with chips and various bets by various people, we keep track of who own which bet by using colored pawns as you can see in the below picture. There are eight colors of pawns total, and when you walk up to the table you can choose what color you want to use to represent your bets.


And if that's all you want to do, just try it out, yell at some dinosaurs for going too slow, and get swept up in the momentum, then you now know all you need to know to play Saurian Sprint. 

The following section will cover some more of the advanced betting options for those who want to dive in more deeply.


Part 3: I Wanna Get Better

The betting field is a lot larger than just the section that I have shown above. Taking a look at the expanded area to bet on winning, placing, and showing, we see another few columns:


That middle section that consists of two columns, and the rightmost section that has one column are also used to bet on the outcome of the race, but these are bets that can be placed after the race is already underway!

One the race begins and some dinosaurs start to create a lead over others, you can start to make some more informed predictions about who is more likely to win, and you can make more bets based on that information.

Recall that the track itself is divided up into laps and a final stretch.


Those while lines for Lap 1 and Lap 2 relate to making bets on the other columns on the table. 

After the race starts, as long as no dinosaur has crossed the white line under Lap One, you can still bet on the middle two columns above. There are, of course, worse payouts on those bets compared to betting before the race begins, that's the tradeoff for having more information to use when you are making those wagers. Also, the bets are restricted to Winning and Placing, you can no longer bet on Showing.

Finally, there is the single column of bets on the right. These bets can be placed as long as no dinosaur has crossed the white line below Lap Two and has moved on to the final stretch. These bets have the lowest payout compared to the other columns and you are restricted to betting only on the Winner.

In my opinion, these bets that are available after the race starts to develop are underutilized by casino-goers. In situations where a middle-track dinosaur gets off to a substantial lead, especially, a wager during the first or second lap is a great way to hedge your bets.


Part 4: Don’t Prop Believin’

The last thing to discuss is prop bets. The section of the table felt where the prop bets are made looks like this:


To put it simply, a prop bet is a bet you place before the race begins that is wagering on a specific outcome as specified in the boxes above. The specific outcomes that are more likely don't pay out as well as the ones that are less likely but they're all fun ways to bet on some of the randomness that can happen during a dinosaur race.

The prop bets themselves use colors and symbols to describe what you're betting on which might not be obvious at first glance, so here is a more complete explanation of what each prop bet is.

  • Either Yellow Dinosaur gets first place - 3:2
  • Either Green Dinosaur gets first place - 3:1
  • Any Blue Dinosaur gets first place - 5:1
  • The “6” Dinosaur finishes ahead of the “8” (tie pays nothing) - 1:1
  • The “8” Dinosaur finishes ahead of the “6” (tie pays nothing) - 1:1
  • The “5” Dinosaur finishes ahead of the “9” (tie pays nothing) - 1:1
  • The “9” Dinosaur finishes ahead of the “5” (tie pays nothing) - 1:1
  • Both Yellow Dinosaurs finish ahead of the Black Dinosaur - 3:1
  • Both Green Dinosaurs finish ahead of the Black Dinosaur - 6:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes ahead of all Blue Dinosaurs - 1:2
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes ahead of both Green Dinosaurs - 1:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes ahead of both Yellow Dinosaurs - 3:2
  • The finishing order of the Dinosaurs is black-yellow-yellow - 25:1
  • The finishing order of the Dinosaurs is black-yellow-green - 20:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes in 2nd place - 3:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes in 3rd place - 4:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes in 4th or worse place (including ties) - 1:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes in 5th or worse place (including ties) - 4:1
  • The Black Dinosaur finishes in 6th or worse place (including ties) - 9:1
  • Exactly two Blue Dinosaurs are tied with each other when the race ends - 2:1
  • Exactly three Blue Dinosaurs are tied with each other when the race ends - 30:1


Part 5: All the Small Things

Below are some small side notes that didn't really fit anywhere better in the information above. 

  • Some people wodner why the bonus (B2) on the outside blue dinosaurs are worse than those of the inside blue dinosaurs (B3). That’s to maintain a mathematical bell curve on which dinosaurs are likely to finish first. All four blue Dinosaurs have an equal probability of activating. The bonus difference gives a slight edge on movement distance to dinosaur 4 and 10. 
  • You might notice that the track part of the dinosaur table felt gradually acquires small label stickers with the dinosaur names on them over the course of an event. The rule of thumb for how a dinosaur gets named is as follows: When a dinosaur wins first place, if someone has won money on that dinosaur they are allowed to name them. If more than one person wins money simultaneously they have to agree on a name.
  • There is an upsetting rumor going around that dinosaurs that consistently lose their races are sold to a factory in Ashenmark to be processed into DAP (Dinosaur Adhesive Paste). The professionals at Rhiassa Games take no official stance on these back alley whisperings. But maybe those dinosaurs should learn to go faster. That is all.


Monday, September 29, 2025

Meme Monday

 by the Meme Team