Stepping into the Shadow Lands, we were met with resistance—ruffians barring our path as we pushed toward Kharma and the Church. We tried to avoid a fight, truly. But Nos calling us bandits didn’t help our case. Thankfully, JB was with us, smacking us from death back into life. Turns out, a well-placed smack can be surprisingly restorative.
Jayce told us JB’s mind had been corrupted. To save him, we used the Head Key to dive into his brain. Inside, we found a map and a helpful guide—Little Guy’rus—who helped us navigate the chaos. JB’s ginger addiction turn do out to be the key to his vault, so we had to feed it. Battling through the void of his mind, we gathered the pieces we needed to break through.
We laid out our game plan to cleanse JB’s brain. Our journey took us from “How Do You Like Them Apples” to “Drinks, Dingers, and Zingers,” then “Jerkeyville,” “Gotta Have Faith,” and finally, “Dreams and Nightmares.” Just outside the vault, we set up our hub—hunting down corrupted gnomes, apples, solo cups, beavers, blood drops, meats, dragons, coins, waxtons, barrels, and flowers. JB’s mind is... unique.
Together, we cracked the Shadowscript.
How Do You Like Them Apples: We found dragon dancing girls corrupted by bad apples. Dodging their charms, we brewed a batch of clean cider and freed them.
Drinks, Dingers, and Zingers: Little Guy’rus invited us to a Neden party. The welcome was... frosty. As a Knight of Neden, I spoke with the boys, got some clues, and somehow became a journalist for the Neden Kazoo. We debated leaving, but some persisted. We found the coasters needed to free the boys from corruption. Syrus got his karaoke moment too.
Jerkeyville: Here we met JB’s bloody side. We had to restart the jerky supply and the Baptiste Butchery. Dragons were slain. Dragons were... ground. Sir Elizah brokered a deal to save a few.
Gotta Have Faith: We descended into the Church of Shadow, crawling with shadowed versions of ourselves. Saegan tore through them, declaring our heraldry would not be worn falsely. We purified the corrupt waxtons and faced a rampaging coin golem while shadow selves vied for control of the church.
Dreams and Nightmares: Mostly nightmares. Through divination rituals with Char, we learned our foes would be rabbits and babies. They came for our flag. Veet and I tried to shield it—failed—but created a regeneration point that healed armor. Creathorne stood firm, chanting to hold back the magic of super bunnies and babies. Veet used an intervention to reclaim our flag when it was lost. The rest of us ran flags through the darkness, gathering scattered pieces. The final battle was brutal—an invincible rabbit and a giant baby. But once they fell, JB’s mind was freed.
Vault: Two teams made it into JB’s vault, solving puzzles that unlocked hidden articles in the Neden Kazoo—revealing the truth behind the corruption.
The Escape: With the complete Neden Kazoo carried by Aiden and JB’s Virgin Blood (yes, really) in Samuel’s hands, we began our exit. A quick detour to save Char’s magic sword. Jasper led the charge as we fought our way out.
Back in the Shadow Lands, tensions rose. A beast tore through Omega Cultists—a creature unleashed that must now be dealt with. We need to gather the Keys and stop the Omega Key from forming. Hopefully not inside JB’s brain next time.
Armed with my blade—forged from a magical sausage found in Jean Baptiste’s brain vault—I venture forth to slay the beast. Hopefully, with you at my side.
Squire Whan-Hedda con Atlantis
