Written by: Dan "N" Hudson
*The following was discovered in a dingy diary lost along a road, and translated from the original goblin to be readable in the common tongue. Spelling and grammar also underwent heavy corrections.*
Dear Diary,
My name is Gobbergobber now! It was Paul for a bit, but I traded that lame, short name for a super cool long name. Sadly that is the only thing I got to keep from our robbing of the mail carrier the other day - adventurers killed my pals and our trolls and took back all the mail we stole. No fair! Stealing things and disrupting the postal service is what I live for, yet apparently it is illegal in Chimeron just like other fun things like necromancy and murder!
I have made it my quest to change Chimeron’s unfair anti-fun laws, starting with the outlawing of theft! I talked to the guy who’s been king for years and get this - he didn’t even make the law! It’s been around since a monarch named Queen Meg, with no one questioning this outdated law that has no place in today’s society! The king made it clear that I would have to talk to this queen about changing the law, so that’s what I set out to do.
But it’s proving harder than I thought! He said that she was under the hill but I’ve been checking under every hill I can find and still no sign of her! Was I lied to? Did this “Queen Meg” ever really exist? I don’t know, but I’ll either find the truth or get tired trying and give up.
Make stealing legal!!!
-Gobbergobber
P.S. I’m hungry so I’m gonna go eat a pig now. A stolen one, because I like stealing things.
