Tuesday, September 30, 2025

Conspiracy Monthly

 By Kieran/Kyra Barry

A faux newspaper with the bolded title of Conspiracy MONTHLY. First article reads: ASHENmark’s problems are BOUNTYful. "The 100% tax rate means the harvest is reportedly going to fund this feast allegedly. The governance of Ashenmark is in the pocket of BIG CHEESE, as desperate Ashenmark peasants must now turn to the secret reserves of cheese farmers. These secret underground cheese caves with high prices for their cave cheese reserves are kept secret from outsiders. But we at Conspiracy MONTHLY know the truth, for we dig deep. This is the most pressing problem Ashenmark faces. We go underground on page 5!" Second article reads: Elaborate Death Courting Rituals affect Black and White Masquerade. "Courting Death by drinking poison is the hottest new trend that’s a tale as old as time. Better than death by chocolate. Which really only affects our werewolf readers. Avoid Black and White desserts. Some sources claim keeping a mask off during the masquerade part of the night will attract Death. But these are false sources! Death has yet to show their face at any such dances, no matter how many fools spurn Big Masks! More flirting tips on page 2!" Third article reads: Swift's Suspicious Surgeries. "Second hand source claims Swift asserts that top surgery, is not, in fact, blood magic, and therefore legal in Stonewood. He hasn’t gotten to that surgery yet but he’s recently trans-planted flowers from lungs. Watch out Blackwood Spore Orcs. More on Swift’s dubious medical practices, considering he doesn’t have a medical license, on page 3." Fourth and last article reads: "DRAGONS DRAGONS MORE DRAGONS. WILL THESE RUMORS ABOUT DRAGONS DRAG-ON?? DEBUNKING DRAGON RUMORS ON PAGE 6!" End of image.


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