The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden
LEAD STORY: Ninja’s, Pirates, and Hump House O my! (a comical story told by Theddy Quill)
Last Thursday sources from our T.H.U.G.S (terrors, horrors, undead, and ghoul squad; Grimloch’s elite undead hunting task force) Unit reported that two of its own were filing assault reports from an unknown assailant.
It
was reported that last Thursday at approximately 9:45pm, two of the
T.H.U.G.S agents Sir Rohde and Priest Syruss were seen entering their
Unit headquarters with what appeared to be a series of bruises and small
abrasions all over their face and arms.
Now anyone who knows
the terrifyingly terrific tag team (terrifyingly terrific tag team is
copyrighted under COOL THINGS ROHDE says corporation) knows they are
not to be trifled with. So who would be so bold as to attack the
brutally badass best buds?
Well an eyewitness (who whishes to keep their anonymity due to relation to the duo) states that Syruss reported as follows:
At
approximately 9:45pm, while counting the Hump House’s Bar till for the
day with partner Rohde a cloud of thick smoke appeared; impeding vision
and making it generally hard to breathe.
At
approximately 9:46pm, the dust cleared and standing on the table in front of the duo was an unknown assailant.
The
assailant stood at roughly 5’4”, was wearing all black apparel, and
their face was covered from eyebrows to the back of the head and from
the tip of the nose; covering all around the face and neck only showing
a small portion of the skin around the eye area.
Syruss stated that his eyes were “yellow and skin was pale white almost blue it was so white”.
Here is what was said on the attack, as reported by Sir Rohde: