by James "Tao" Murphy
Another memory, that I do not remember. I went to feast I was not invited to, and I got a sword? From hell? But when it started, I was hungry and broke, as usual.
I was not sure the feast was for everybody, but no one asked me for an invitation at the door. Some attendees had such fine cloths, and weapons. I did not belong here. But there was Sakizuke, and the promise of Hassun, with more food course to come. I was very hungry, so the small portions did not fill me up. Maybe I might be able to take extra food from some of the later course to bring home. Not that there was anyone waiting for me. I was as alone, as I was hungry. Fall was here, winter a few months away, my future was not looking promising.
I found a seat in the back, there were some games and such with dominos and cards, but you needed Koku to play them. As I had none, I just watched. I noticed that while many people looked like they were having fun, it was the person behind the table that kept getting the money. They paid off some people but not everybody. Hmm, I wonder what it would take to start that kind of business.
After the Takiawase someone said something about weirdness happing outside. I grabbed my shoes by the door and joined everyone else outside. We discovered that our world had changed. There was a path that seemed to lead off into darkness. We could not tell if we were inside or outside. This did not seem to surprise some of the people who joked about what things were in store. Many of the guests stated they were expecting something like this from the way the host had acted. He said he had no idea, but I did not believe him.
Samurai were taking to the front and starting down the path. I kept to the back. I was not sure why we would not just go back inside, but when I turned the feast hall was gone. I did not want to be alone, so I followed the crowd. I hoped we would be back in time for the Yakimono.
After a short walk we entered some kind of natural throne room. Sitting on a clean white throne was a large Oni. Several of the Samurai tried to attack him but no Katana, Ono, or even the lightning bolt the U-izado threw would affect him. He said he had taken us, and if we wanted to get back to the feast, we would need to work for him for a short time. He also said he would reward us if we were successful with a very special Mizumono. Many people did not trust the Oni but seeing as we had no choice we agreed.
He needed decorations for his new throne. It needed puss, and poop, and worms, and other disgusting things to properly look like his throne. He knew where we could find some lessor Oni who were made of these things. He told us to journey to where they are, kill them, and bring back so much of each. 10 piles of demon poop, 8 baby demon spiders, many buckets of demon dirt, were just a few of the things.
I started to grow nervous. I had no weapons, no armor, no spells. I had left my Yumi behind as I did not believe it proper to bring to a feast. And it being a poor one at that I was barely able to hunt with it. I hoped I could just stay out of the way and not die.
We entered an area and suddenly there were Poop and worm Oni. They did not talk or yell or even make any sounds. They just started coming at us ready to attack. One of the Samurai up front stepped up and sliced one of them almost clean through. It was a vicious kill. This was not surprising as he was the strongest of us. But then the samurai stopped moving. His blade still in the Oni as if frozen. Others soon leaped to the fight. But as each killed an Oni, they also stopped moving. Most of the Samurai were now frozen. And many of the ones who were left were not as proficient with their weapons.
We barely won the round. I mostly tried to hide out of the way. When it was clear I noticed the first Samurai was now covered in poop. All that had killed an Oni were covered in either poop or worms. We were able to scrape off what we needed but it was not a pleasant experience for any of us.
At about this time one of the samurai noticed I had no weapons and had not been able to help with the fight. He offered me his Wakizashi, but it was just to long for me. He then offered me his Chisa-Katana. This was more my size, a bit longer than my skinning knife, but I could work with this.
As we still needed more and different things for the Oni, we continued onward. The next group we fought were puss oni and dirt oni. Once again as soon as the Samurai, or anyone really, killed an Oni they froze in place. This time I did have to get involved with the combat. Two of the Samurai went down before they could kill so it fell to us less experienced people to kill them.
One of the puss oni was engaged with a weaker samurai. I was able to get around behind it and stabbed it with the chisa-katana. I froze, I could see, I could hear, but I could not move a muscle. After a short time, all the rest of the oni were down, but I was now covered in puss. We were able to scrap it off and carry it with us, but the smell was unable to be imagined.
The samurai who had loaned me his weapon saw my fighting and congratulated me on being successful with the weapon. He had been frozen where he could watch me in the fight and was pleased the weapon was useful to me. It said it normal just went in his belt as a backup. Looking me over, he asked me to accept it as a gift. I had to refuse. He insisted that I take it as it had worked in my hands. Again, I had to decline, while I would be happy to use it until we got back, it was after all his weapon. He said that I would be doing him a favor if I accepted it. He was thinking of replacing it soon and he would just be throwing it out when that happened. On his third request to take it, I agreed. It was a fine weapon; I was glad to have it. But now that I think about it, maybe the smell and the puss was the reason he did not want it back.
Our healers were able to revive our fallen. The Smiths went to work on the armor. Soon we were ready to continue. We only had to go through two more rounds of fighting the various minor oni before we had all the things that were needed. It was quite a site heading back, all of us that point covered in something, puss, dirt, dirty sponges, something. While just had my simple cloths, some of the people had dressed in very fine things. To see them stained and ruined was something of a crime.
We returned to the throne room where the oni stood up and revealed that his chair was hollow. He asked us in turn to fill the bowl of the chair with all the different things we had gathered, the poop, the dirt, the puss, the dirty sponges, even the worms and spiders.
Once it was full, he turned to us and started laughing. Before our eyes he changed into a Nihon No Ryu. He unleased his magic and the throne was changed into a fantastic Mizumono celebrating the fall with elements that looked something like a graveyard. When he was asked how he did it he said it was but a trifle.
As we left the Throne room my clothes were suddenly free of the puss. They were actually quite a bit cleaner than they usually were and small tears had disappeared. As we walked back the host of the feast asked us how we liked his little joke. He had invited the Ryu to play his little game. But also, we killed many oni that would not bother others. Fun was had, good had happened. I just felt used.
Memory fades again, I know I kept the weapon. I made friends that day. But the rest is flushed away.
*************************
Players have to fill up a toilet with chocolate pudding and other trifle ingredients.
Brand new toilets can be as cheap as 90 dollars. It’s a bit much for a single prop.
Most of the scene is set in a Hell. Many different types of demons. Poop demons (choc pudding), dirt demons (cookie crumbs) , puss demons (whipped cream), demons of the worm (gummy worms) , demon spiders (gummy spiders) . Dirty sponge demon (hunk of cake, probably a vanilla or a pound cake).
Each combat round will have a mix of different types of demons. Stats to be determined day of depending on party strength.
Special call will be a freeze effect. (if you are told to freeze you should stop what you are doing and freeze in place) you can hear and see, but not move.
There will be at most 1:3 to 1:4 NPC to PC ratio in these fights. When I NPC dies it calls a freeze on the player who killed it. The freeze will last until all the other demons are dead or the party has been wiped. The party should win each round, but not for free. NPC’s should do what they can to win one fight but to losse the next. If they wipe, then the remaining demons withdraw. If no one can get back up, the first demon will pop in and do some kind of group raise. They are a good dragon after all.
Players think they are stuck in a hell. They encounter a demon (who is really a good dragon) who is sitting on a throne the chair is actually a toilet but is disguised enough that the players should not be able to tell that. They complain that the throne is to clean. It needs dirt and puss and such to properly decorate it. (the npc will be sitting on the cover). The demon says they must kill a bunch of minor demons and collect the trifle ingredients except calling them disgusting names. Gives then how much of each thing they need to collect. (10 bits of demon poop, 8 bits of demon dirt, etc). they give directions to where these types of demons hang out
Players must fight waves of demons usually only two or maybe three different types as a time. As each demon is killed, they Freeze whoever killed them. When all the demons are dead. Everyone releases. But the first person to kill one of the types (do our best to marshal) gets a special cut scene. They are presented with the ingredients in its raw form. No dishes no bags. (pudding, or gummy, or whipped cream) they must put out their hands. After the first time the demons will give up tokens of “puss” or “baby spiders” or “dirt”. The person who gets the cut scene can eat or throw away the pudding/whipped cream/etc we have to make sure we have at least one extra of each thing the party needs so that it will not be necessary. Once they party has gone through enough waves to be fun and not repetitive. Its back to the throne room.
Once the party has everything they need. They can return to the demon, who will then reveal the “throne” to be a toilet. A table is then revealed to have all the ingredients. Pudding, cake, gummy stuff, etc. the party must then build a trifle that they can carry back to the feast as dessert. The demon was actually a good being the host had made a deal with.
