by Jean Baptise
Brown, gruff, and large. Few foes can strike as much fear as a Troll.
Trolls are part of the goblin family, in fact some claim a Troll is a sortof “Veteran” goblin, or a goblin that has done some sort of ritual to strengthen itself. Or maybe they are just fat.
Regardless, Trolls are the opposite of a kobold. They are naturally armored, they carry big long hand and a halves in one hand and a boulder in another, and they regenerate. Yes a Troll frequently will thwart death, despite having no necromantic, or indeed magical pulse in them.
To defeat a troll, you have to watch its off arm, that is the one where the boulder is. The Troll will rarely swing the boulder, but if it throws it, this will force you and your team to scatter… or die. Dying is on the table if you want. Free dimension.
The troll also can not be killed until its heart is removed from its chest, or rather it is “rendered soulless”, which really, is more a side effect of goring the beast than anything else. In Chimeron, where Trolls and their goblin allies have long warred against the kingdom, their musculature is too difficult to cut with mere knives. One needs to either use a hammer or a axe, since, though it is not pretty, the muscular regeneration will often work against the troll on bones, causing the limb to remain useless.
Some Trolls have learned to carve their blades of heavy stone and “Swing” the boulder, crushing foes with raw brutal force. But worse is a Troll Twin.
Trolls you see, are not like most species. When a troll mixes blood with another troll they form a blood oath that is stronger than most… anything, most Troll twins aren't actually literal twins, as Trolls very rarely give birth to siblings at all. However whenever a troll bond is formed, it can be near indestructible. Simply put, if one of the trolls are defeated, its brother will immediately run to the others rescue, even if dead their regeneration will suddenly hasten to do so. The only way to stop this is to impale the troll, and prevent the wound from closing.
Troll meat is very gamey, and tends to be an acquired taste for a sophisticated palette. Its the blue cheese of meat… which may raise an alarm bell to some. If you see your troll steak wriggling you can rest at ease knowing its very fresh. You see even without the heart, troll meat still grows… just very slowly.. You can not jerky it due to that, as slow cooking processes don't really help a meat that keeps growing. Troll meat can be ground into sausage with some great success, especially with their high fat content.
Todays recommended dish is a Troll dog, where one takes a ground up offal of a troll, places it in its own severed intestine, and dips it in a batter of buttermilk. Serve with malt vinegar, not ketchup. And on a stick.
