Written by: Ethan "Jean Baptise" Goldman
I do not care for Eddy Raincoat.
Was that a hot take? Do we still even call him Eddy? I have been in my closet sulking for so many years that things have kind of blurred away. I know Fern has desperately tried to keep track of every secret hand and ancient unbidden thousand year grudge, but Fern isn’t doing the WIWTG. I am.
So in the spirit of the common demon, I decided to embrace the blindness.
The point is Eddy is invading Rathkeale, we knew he was attacking since 1023 and so far Elric has held the line. Which is really impressive since Necron fell in what, a DAY? Really puts into perspective who the REAL best undead nation is huh? However what with the New Aberrant Gate order being made, Eddy is a little salty salty. He's been hurt, someone made a club named “The Club Eddy used to be in but he cant be in now because he smells bad”, and frankly speaking, he’s a smidge peeved.
Remember this is the same Lich who sent revenant assassins to kill anyone who ever made fun of him, so Rainecourt isn’t the kind of person who, works out their feelings in a constructive manner. And he ALREADY invaded Blackwood and that didnt pan out as intended so Eddy needs a win.
And Eddy’s schedule is running out of tombs to rob, which means Eddy got less to do then unload a trauma dump of genocidal proportions upon the Silver Chalice. And frankly if that's a real object he's going to steal that too, he’s certainly the type.
Now slightly less hot take, I like Rathkeale, I once tried to take Rathkeale but was told “No that's a stupid idea” by… everyone I asked about it. Ah youth. Anyway I have long since pinky swore to defend Rathkeale from well its kinda a blur, there was a castle? But I was reminded of my oath.
They called me Bapbeast once, I was a hero for a time. And, since its so necessary, I can be one again.
You see I like war. I am good at war. And war, war REALLY likes me. When I needed a Pike, it appears in the dirt, when I ask war to kill, people die. And when war comes calling, the least I can do is give a proper answer.
And so the call to war has come calling, its the drum beat of a thousand boots in the mud, its the clang of the teeth of sword biting into the metal of plate and cracking it like a crab. It is the piper flute of hate and red and it says my name, it says your name too.
Little Eddy Raincoat is afraid of the rain.
Let us give him a storm.
