Below is a photo... kinda.
It certainly used to be a photograph before we converted it to a pixelated mess.
We'd like you to figure out the following based on just the squares of color below.
The full photo will be revealed later this afternoon.
By Spoon (Kieran/Kyra Barry)
Recipe at bottom:
No kernels in this soup because there were no colonels during this event. I thought there was but turns out she was a general but also not really because she was maybe a demon. Possessed? Used to be a colonel. So, corn chowder.
This is my recipe for Kernless Corn Chowder Mushroom Soup. If you find any kernels in your corn chowder, strain that out!
Coming up with this recipe was a doozy. First I went to Feast of Blackwood because I heard they had good soup, but figured it would be even better if they had me, Spoon, in the kitchen because I make the best soup. Soup so good it brings you back to life! But I messed up the timing and arrived early, where a bunch of people were gathered to fight some orcs! Spore orcs. Sporks are good for eating soup with because you can spear the chunks and drink the broth in one go.
General formerly Colonel Ridley of the Arcanum Core directed us on things to do. Like free a village from Orcs and find out their weak points! Ryu was some sort of feathered important person, kept bossing orcs around and they listened to her, seemed scared of her. At one point I approached a pig orc, Perimeter Pig, with my trusty knife and tried to get him to let me pet his pig. He knocked me down instead, rude. Must have thought he killed me because when I jumped up later and declared I cannot die, he and his pig ran away scared shitless. Later he became Town Pig One Fear. I am his one fear, for he cannot defeat me in any way that truly matters.
Mel was someone becoming an orc and could hear the whispers of the mushroom network throughout Blackwood which the orcs were using them to gain power via souls. Swoop was a psychopomp trying to unlock the power of death.
Literally! A Marduath follower had harnessed an Avatar of Death in a ritual to fight the orcs, but the orcs killed that follower (probably) and just kept the Owl of Death in a lot of bags. We freed them.
Next day there was an Orconomist who was eating people in exchange for money, a potential new way for the orcs to be. People were interested in his club so killed him to investigate it since it had magic. Turns out whoopsie Orconomist couldn’t come back to life because the King of Orcs saw his soul in the mycelium network and killed his soul forever. The group got a glittery club out of it.
There was a sewer crawl, a play we put on for the Avatar of Death (I was a main character! King Deimos’ dad). Some saw the future of Torolf in Valhala. All sort of culturally relevant things with themes of death so that the Death in Blackwood could regain their (her?) power.
A power crystal was put together and Ridley said that it could be used to finish the orc threat. People looking into the future saw immense loss and death. People argued about whether it should be used. Spoon hid in a dark corner.
Ridley said the time had passed and people don’t like feeling they missed out on things so reset time and allowed Ridley to use the crystal. It destroyed a dimension of souls and killed all the orcs there. People didn’t like that, and went to get Ridley but Ridley second chanced away.
Split into two groups, one group went to fight stuff, my group went to a shrine graveyard and figured out whose shrine is what. One was a shrine to Santos, ex-ruler of Blackwood. Figured out who gets what stuff. Then Swift had us say nice things to the gods.
Oh yeah, and Nos of Blackwood had gone missing earlier during a ritual. Turns out he was stuck in past echoes of events in the life of the first ruler of Blackwood. Fought a lot of ghosts and water spirits. When we failed the battle would be reset. Orion made a circle to fix people's armor. People got better at fighting as we pushed into the castle. Spoon didn’t, Spoon made magic soup and laid low.
We finally found Nos but there were a lot of creatures and a jellyfish that Ridley was controlling. I snuck up on the Jellyfish and was eaten but I woke up inside and filled it with my 5 heat soup, soup so hot it’s like acid, which destroyed one of its tentacles. When Spoon crawled out the hole Spoon was able to tell others what happened, which made a lot of people keen to get inside the jellyfish. Good thing its stomach was in another dimension. Kara told people what to do. Tempeste (mmm tempeh) went inside and sang it to sleep. Ridley was taken prisoner to be tried for crimes at court the next day.
But that’s another story for I was in the kitchen making soup. And eating soup. Here’s soup recipe!
Ingredients [goblin measurements]
1 and a 1/4 lots of sliced fresh carrots (leave out if you don’t like)
1 a lot of chopped celery with leaves (leave out if you don’t like)
5 potatoes diced (leave out if you don’t like)
3/4 to 1 of a lot of sliced fresh mushrooms (what is the point if you leave out)
1/3 of a lot of flour (can’t make roux without it)
3 onions, sliced (leave out if you don’t like but I don’t like you)
5-6 of a lot of water or stock (bad soup if you leave out)
1/4 of a lot of butter, cubed (at least use some sort of fat if you leave out!)
1/4 of a lot of heavy cream (mmmm cream)
1-1/2 of a lot of corn kernels (make sure to pick out each one at the end or!) 5 ears of corn (easier to strain out if not finely cut) (what is the point if you leave out)
1/2 of a touch of seasoned salt (bad, don’t leave out!)
Whatever mix ins you want! Ham, tempeh, beans, etc.
How to cook:
In a large saucepan, saute onions until tender in the butter. Then saute carrots, celery, mushrooms in the butter until tender and mushrooms are golden brown. If you need more butter add it. Goblins do not fear butter. Put in soup pot. Add flour little bit at a time to make roux. Stir. Stir in liquid a little bit at a time once roux is golden brown. Bring to boil. Stir in the corn, seasoned salt, potatoes and mix-ins, reduce to simmer. Once potatoes tender; take off fire and stir in heavy cream. If desired, serve with garnish.
This custom Wordle-adjacent-puzzle features a 5-letter word that is particularly relevant to the Realms.
If the embedded page isn't working below you can click this link to get to the puzzle.
Like regular Wordle you can copy your result's (but only if you follow the link), so paste them or a screenshot onto social media to let us know how you did. But no spoilers!
by: Christina "Adara " Clements
So the autumnal joy of Ashenbounty is once again upon us. So why am I going?
First, Temorse Sorrowind has been leading Ashenmark for more than fifteen years, and this shall be his last court. While no one is nervous about Umbra and Raynor at the reins, changes in leadership like this are rare. These sorts of changes mark the time in our game, eras that come and go. I am also going to celebrate the accomplishments of the knight who has done so much for our game over the last 20 years. Our game and our community would not be nearly the same if this nation had not been founded and had not been so expertly piloted by Sorrowind. I, perhaps, have a specific understanding of how chaotic this group could have been if not for Temorse.
Secondly, the food from Ashenmark never disappoints, no matter what hurdles it has to overcome in the remote kitchen. Why would I miss a chance to eat in Ashenmark? Of course I won’t! Perhaps there will be cheese. It seems like most of the nation takes their food seriously, and I appreciate the dedication. In fact, if I do nothing other than lurk outside the kitchen waiting for new courses to appear it will be a successful day.
There will be well run and high caliber tournaments to watch, and I do enjoy watching what combat has come to in our game. Every year the blows get faster, and the weapons get lighter. There is a great joy in watching the best fighters do their best for the honor and prestige on the tourney list. I personally enjoy it more when the adrenaline from possible nationwide annihilation is not in play and I can enjoy the art for the sake of the art. If you need the adrenaline rush, the labyrinth is sure to entertain, and perhaps make your pockets a bit heavier.
Lastly, I am going because Bricochet and Cinder will never forgive me if they miss a chance to either beat up bad guys, steal hats from important people or shake down dead monsters for gold. This event marks their first year in the game and I suspect they will always mark the anniversary. Who can forget their first event?
OOC Note: Generally I need to plan my events far in advance and last year on nearly a whim I returned to Ashenbounty. I have perhaps never felt such a sense of homecoming as I did then. We go to events for many reasons, to accomplish things, to stand up for right, because plot compels us, because our friends need help. As someone who spent too long away, savor that moment when you arrive and you know those around you are the people who see you for who you are, and know you for who you could become. I have had the pleasure of watching Tucker become a pillar of the Realms and celebrating that will be foremost in my mind all weekend.
By Hillary "Lissa" Fotino
This was not my first time venturing into the lands of Stonewood or near to the place known as Pandemonium, though I certainly do not have the level of experience with this place and these angels and demons as others do. As such as I can only do my best to detail everything that we encountered along the way.
First and foremost, upon arrival, we conducted a ritual to the gods of Stonewood to ensure that they were feeling benevolent towards us. We had two people standing for each of the Novem, one to speak and one to make the offering. For my own part, I certainly hope that Lord Zargon appreciated the liquor and the grave dirt. With our rituals completed, we had scant little time before the first threat was on us. Never let it be said that cows aren’t a danger which must be respected. These cows, in fact, wielded polearms and grew in strength the more and more of them that we killed. For a while, it seemed like that could go on forever until the Cow King arrived. I’ll admit, I’m not entirely sure what happened for the next bit since I made the mistake of focusing too much on the weapon in my hand and not enough on the magic in my veins. Which is to say that I got disintegrated. Claudia is never going to let me hear the end of this.
When I returned to the fight, the cows were gone. I’ve been told that there was a demon repeating its own name over and over that was holding our souls hostage and we returned alive and well after that was done. I got a moment to reorient myself and grab some water, briefing the Baroness that we were still alive and well. Well, not- You know what I mean.
We had been warned that the next thing we would need to do was face a creature called a Riftwalker in order to get into Pandemonium. I want you to picture portal with legs and claws coming at you. That was what it felt like. We managed to beat it and used that portal to enter Pandemonium. From the moment we entered, it was trying to rip at our souls. I know that for those of a more alive persuasion, it was actively taking pieces. I was entirely focused on keeping the arcane conduit of my soul functioning while Claudia focused on keeping us in the fight. Because there was a fight in Pandemonium, of course. We fought our way through cultists who had the things we would need in order to conduct a ritual for our safety and the safety of those who would follow.
The first step was collecting keys and coins. The keys needed to all be used together in the correct locks based on the amount of magic someone has. It took a lot of coordination to make sure we had all the right keys, locks, and people in all the right places, and keep them safe long enough to turn those keys but we managed it. From there, Margaret took over to lead all of us through a ritual while Aelias guarded.
One by one, each of us had to repeat the words and actions that Margaret talked us through until the space was made safe and the drain on everyone’s souls finally stopped. Of course, that was by no means the end of the danger. It never is, is it? A servant of Maltheal arrived to try to destroy the ritual in order to stop us and we had to fight. This fallen angel of Solarus, assuming the information I was given is correct, could channel lightning which would shoot into the crowd of us trying to keep a solid line and we would have to just do our best to survive it or else ground the lightning out.
In the end, it wasn’t a matter of killing this angel but instead redeeming them. Solarus has one of hers back at her side and Maltheal has one less to send against us. With hope, we can do the same again.
We returned to Stonewood from there and the Knights of the Crown conducted a field court where they knighted Dame Margaret. From what I saw on the field, she certainly earned that accolade.
Lissa Petrovna of Val’dara
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OOC:
Okay, let me say this again for those in the back: Stonewood throws a fantastic event. It isn’t anything like anything else you’ll see. If you want to face a real, honest challenge that makes you have to pull out all the stops with a decades long story that’s still easy to jump into, this is the event series for you. It also very genuinely reminds me of some of the events I played when I was new. The puzzles require everyone to work together, not just a small cluster of people. The fighting is a challenge and you’ll need the resources you have. I also particularly enjoy those moments where players who have been around for decades are working closely with the new players in the plot and trying to figure it out together but the story has been going for that long.
The NPCs are great, the story is complex and interesting, the puzzles are fun, and the new site they’re using is really great, especially for being a backyard. Zack and the rest of Stonewood have been doing a great job in expanding the site for more use. I also really really liked the chain lightning effect and loved the logic of being able to ground the lightning out with a weapon touching the ground. That sort of thing is a lot of fun to figure out.
I really do think that more people should come try out a Stonewood event. There’s a particular feeling that these events provide of being the powerful heroes that we all want to be, of being able to face down unbeatable enemies and do huge world shaping magics. Everyone should try it at least once.
Hillary
