by Sara "Zarine" Jessop
“Madam Zarane
I had a bad breakup with my boyfriend but we’re both in the same nation and I don’t want to leave the group or come around less often. The problem is he has a prominent position in the group and I’m worried he’s going to make it more difficult for me to stay involved. What can I do to make sure I can avoid any issues that might come up?”
~Anonymous
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Oh, my poor dear. Breakups are always difficult, and it sounds as if yours is being complicated further by your proximity to each other and shared social circles. It can be a bit hard to give advice with such vague information. Knowing the reason for the breakup would allow me to give more detailed guidance. I'll just assume you spelled his name wrong, which appears to be a trend. I've discharged people from my life for less. Fortunately for you, I'm in a forgiving mood today, and I will do my best to answer your very depressing question.
I understand that you both reside in the same nation. If it is a larger nation, perhaps you can avoid each other, at least for a bit until things become less awkward. Nations are full of peasants, perhaps befriend some of them if you've had all of your vaccinations. Joining a sewing circle or a cult is also a great way to meet new plebs like yourself. Now, I am not saying that you should give up your old friends and leave your current social circle entirely, but if you had a lot of mutual friends it might be good for you to both make some separate acquaintances. It would do you both some good to have some time apart with people who have no preconceived notions of your relationship. It would also give you a friend circle to go to if he's around and your shared circle and you feel the need to remove yourself.
His issues are just that, his issues. They are none of your concern. If your nation members are truly your friends they will remain so even in the face of this debacle. If not, well, at least now you know and you can find some better friends. Should your former paramour attempt to use his higher ranking to make things difficult for you, then he his a downright arse who needs to be put in his place. Hopefully his fellows will do the noble thing and thoroughly trounce him as he deserves. However, my dear, if there is one thing I have learned in this life is that you should never expect people to do the right thing, so you will very likely have to do it yourself.
So how do you go about protecting yourself? Now, my love, I am going to get into the really important advice, so pay attention. You say he is in a prominent position in your nation? Outrank him. Become more important than his weak self esteem can handle. He can't control your position in your circle if he's beneath you. Be aware that this may take some time, but never take your eye off your goal. Eventually you'll end up on top, and then you'll command the game, and the name of the game is making sure that he doesn't ever have any power over you. The only person who should ever have power over you is, well, you.
I know this is all a lot to take in, and you are most likely in a very vulnerable spot. Just know that if you fail at taking my advice and your bygone lover causes you any emotional or physical harm, you can always come to me. No man is ever atop me unless I allow him to be, and even then I'm just lulling him into a false sense of security. I will make sure he gets taken care of. I promise.
