Ask Zarine

Dear Madam Zarine, I’m new to the community and I went to Tourneys of Creathorne a couple weeks ago and mostly had an amazing time. It was fun watching people fight and I even competed a little bit. The evenings were also a lot of fun watching people celebrate, but I just didn’t feel like I fit in with anyone. I’m introverted so it’s hard to just put myself out in social situations. What should I do next time to find a way to click with people and have as much fun as they’re having?

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Many people might think that this is a difficult question for me to answer because clearly I have many acquaintances and I always know just what to say. The truth, my dear, is that I haven't always been that way. There was a time when I was new to these lands and quite shy. There are probably some who wish that I would go back to being so quiet and unassuming, but once you find your confidence you'll find that it can be quite intoxicating and you'll want to flaunt it at every opportunity. But how do we get you there, that is the question.

Have you tried drinking? I find that whenever I am feeling a bit bashful and modest all it takes is a few drinks to loosen me up and suddenly I feel much more friendly and uninhibited. Now, being new I wouldn't suggest over imbibing, you'll want to keep your wits about you as you don't know who to trust yet, so find that fine line between overconfident stupidity and social awkwardness and you'll be all set.

If you don't drink, or can't drink, quite frankly things might be more difficult as you are going to have to actually address your problem head on. In the end this is probably for the best, but truthfully it's a lot of work that I personally would prefer to skip and skipping all the healthy coping mechanisms is why I am such a well balanced individual. So take that under advisement.

Tournaments of Creathorne is a rather large event with a lot of craziness going on. Some people thrive in that type of imbecility and some do not. If you are the shy type, I would assume that you would not. Perhaps try smaller gatherings where it is easier to meet people and the people you might meet could possibly be sober at some point during the weekend. While at a larger gatherings such as ToC, find the smaller gatherings within it. Befriend someone who can bring you around to the different fire pits and find ones you feel comfortable at. Hang out for a while and get to know some folks. During the day on the tournament field is also a good time to visit different groups of people. It might be less intimidating than during the night, though I will warn you some inhabitants of these lands are far more frightening to look upon in the full light of day.

If you like to gamble that can be another excellent way to meet people. It can be a very social activity depending on who is around at the time and who's dealing. I you don't gamble but would like to there are always folks willing to teach new plebs like yourself, and most of them won't even take advantage of your inexperience. If gold is a problem I find that if you just stand nearish to the casino complaining about it gold just appears in your hand, or other various places if you're into that.

Have you considered that it's alright to just be shy? It's completely acceptable to simply sit and listen. Just don't be creepy about it or anything. You can learn a lot about people and the realms by paying attention to what others say, which is much easier when you aren't the one doing all the talking. You can then take all of those things you learned about folks and come sit with me and tell me all about it. I may seem intimidating because I am so popular and mean, but really I am quite easy to talk to and love conversing with new people.

If you need someone to introduce you to new people, help interject you into a conversation, or get you into a poker game, come find me. I'll make sure you're having a good time.