by Jean Baptise
Alongside Kobolds, there are few races as ever present as the Goblin, best known by their bright green faces.
Goblins are forest people, living alongside roads and ambushing unsuspecting travelers. This would cause some to suspect the goblin as being a parasitic species of highwaymen but the reality is much stranger. Unlike in industrial areas where human bandits occupy the roadways, it's often the goblins themselves who clear and maintain the pathways they ambush people on.
Despite this Goblins live alongside roads and not around industrial or farm villages (typically) even though a road typically needs to LEAD somewhere. Current theory is that Goblins used to be a courier culture, making money through their quick travel between settlements and castles, and then eventually paved roads to get faster… and then people started using those roads instead of talking to goblins.
Another theory is that goblins actually shockingly good at large scale rune magic and the pathways we follow are actually goblin glyphs that help give the goblins their magical abilities.
Unlike trolls Goblins are frequently casters, swinging poison and piercing skills as well as healing one another. However like all magic races they aren't as easily quantified as say, kobolds are. There are many goblins who have spells so alien to humans and typical use that you never see them cast them, meaning they just have a reduced weapon path. Some of them are just fighters, but typically they have a small smattering or two of spells.
Some Goblins have higher societal structures than others, some think this is based on how long the road is, but it's more how MANY roads there are. If two goblin roads intersect you have a crossway and then the tribes meld, and that allows for specialization and sometimes the goblins will make a city to accompany the road. This can create goblin kingdoms, who may go out to conquer other lands and territory. You can tell if a goblin raid happened in an area, not based on the level of devastation but on the land surrounding it. Goblins are just as violent and cannibalistic as any other conquering nation, no less cruel or honorable, no more likely to salt the earth… but Goblins, make roads. So if theres a pathway away from the carnage, and it leads to goblins… there you go.
Listen what do you want me to suggest? You lick a tree and detect the aroma of the fungi? It’s not all shadow games and veiled threats! Sometimes people just take stuff!
Speaking of, goblins tend to actually not carry gold and treasure on them. This leads people to assume goblins are poor, but they rarely are, given their control of many trade routes. But, for one reason or another (likely better reasons then people will give them credit for) Goblins have given most other races a reputation as pickpockets and unsavory types, which bogs down negotiations a bit, but also leads them to not bring valuables to their raids or patrols, lest a shifty elf steal their eating money.
Speaking of eating, Goblin meat is a gamey complex flavor, it does NOT taste like pork, or chicken… but its close to a sweeter lamb with like, a dab or orange flavoring. It can be rather lean if you know what to harvest and trim properly, however typically its considered a roasting meat.
I do not recommend because… let's be honest. When was the last time you ate mutton? Have you ever actively sought out mutton commonly? Likely you did not. Few people go “Oh wow mutton, thats so good we should buy some” it’s either on sale, or a tradition, or someone is summoning a demon. Goblin is similar. It’s an acquired taste, and, unless you are avoiding wasting a kill… frankly there are better meats to put in your mouth, and some of them don’t talk.
Well actually… I guess since speak is a spell all animals can talk, with a decent degree of eloquence too, so I suppose if you think about it, its always been murder. Teehee.
