By Crystal "Cressida" Welch
Winter Revelry brought a filk competition, and what better way to end the week and kick off a showcase of filks (with their creators' permission and submission to the View) to sprinkle in the upcoming cold weeks than with this one from the one and only Bard Cressida! (Whose player also played Cornix throughout the event).
"I really can’t stay
(Baby, there’s Kobolds outside)
I’ve got to go away
(But, baby, there’s Kobolds outside)
This adventure has been
(Been kicking monster skulls in)
So very nice
(I’ll hold the line, just stab twice)
The kingdom will start to worry
(Got kill them in a hurry)
The villagers pacing their floors
(Listen to the creatures roars)
So, really, I’d unleash fury
(You’d be judge and jury)
But maybe just a half a sword more
(Grab a sword I’ll pick up my board)
The village might think
(Baby, it’s bad out there)
And the corpses do stink
(Best get the remains out of there)
I wish I knew how
(There seems to be a portal now)
To break this spell
(I’ll disenchant, I know it well)
I ought to say “Go, go, go, sir”
(The monsters move ever closer)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried
(What’s the sense of hurtin’ your pride?)
I really can’t stay
(Oh, baby, we’ll hold out)
Together: Baby, there’s Kobolds outside!
I simply must go
(But, baby, there’s Kobolds outside!)
Move and stay low
(But, baby, there’s Kobolds outside!)
Your hospitality has been
(How lucky you dropped in)
So nice and kind
(Look outside they’ve formed a line)
My they look so suspicious
(Gosh they look kinda vicious)
My knight will be at the door
(Waves of them hitting the floor)
My we must be ambitious
(Gosh they are super vicious)
But maybe just a lightning bolt toward
(Never such a group before)
I’ve gotta get home
(But, baby, you’d die out there)
Say, lend me your arms
(It’s totally dire out there)
We must take a stand
(I thrill and take your hand)
But don’t you see?
(How can they do this to me?)
There’s bound to be more tomorrow
(Think of the lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty who tried
(If you got stabbed and died)
I really can’t stay
(Get down, Kobolds out)
Together: Baby, it’s Kobolds
Baby, it’s Kobolds outside!"
