I Can't Even

I Can't Even ...

By, 

Sara 'Zarine' Jessop 

… An Important Announcement

I have been asked a lot of questions lately, and I even know the answers to a lot of them. Lately though, the questions being asked have made me realize that people have made an assumption that simply isn't true.

So I am going to make a public service announcement in the hopes that you plebs stop asking me the same annoying questions over and over: I am not in The Order of the Peacock. 

Yes, even their own members are often confused

I don't know what this seasons Peacock color is, and even if I did I don't usually agree with it. I heard tell it may be some purple variety, but even the Peacock members that I consulted with weren't sure. I clearly do not know how to get into the order, so stop asking me that. They've been snubbing me for years, so perhaps try doing the opposite of what I do. If you ask me what a valet is, I'm going to correct your atrocious pronunciation and give you the real definition, because I honestly don't know what their valets do.

I understand that I 'look like I'm in the order'. Stop telling me that. It's honestly kind of mean. Unless you are legit trying to give a backhanded compliment, because in that case, good on you for being such a clever little minx.

So in conclusion, not a peacock, never going to be a peacock, so get your peacock information from someone else.

See you next Tuesday.

Arc Sphere Distortions

Arc Sphere Distortions

by Steven "Therian" Matulewicz

Bardic Circle: A Poem by Renee "Mouse" Booke

Legend of the Mortal God

All hope was lost at world’s end.

The Dark was strong and wouldn’t bend.

Mankind had given into hate,

And the Gods had left them to their fate.

Once golden fields were left to rot,

As armies bled, and died, and fought.

Proud trees with roots as old as time,

Were chopped to ruin by man’s crime.

Ancient mountains quaked with fear,

They knew the truth, the end was near.

Kings marched announced by rumbling drums.

Kingdoms turned to ashen crumbs.

With spear, and mace, and sword in hand,

Villains laid waste to the land.

Their torches blazed with violent flame,

And many lives their heat did claim.

Try as they might, man could not flee;

And so they took to bended knee.

Where were the Gods? They wished to know,

But still their saviors would not show.

Within the Heavens, untouched by pain,

One Deity did hang his head in shame.

Restrained by oath and blind decrees,

No prayers were answered, no minds appeased.

Angels stood silent in empty halls,

There were no joyful trumpet calls.

The spirit of the Silver Gates had broken,

Due to this promise the Gods had spoken.

He couldn’t watch, he couldn’t bear,

The long, unending stream of prayer.

When he found he could not idle stand,

He took his righteous blade in hand.

His mighty shield, of steel and wood,

Defied the Gods in name of Good.

Three silver chevrons upon his breast,

Became a beacon, a hopeful crest.

The wicked, they did fear his gaze,

He set their vile hearts ablaze.

Down from the heavens he did descend,

The wounds of man he sought to mend.

The people wept, and then rejoiced.

For Vandor was their only voice.

A warrior come from upon high,

To save them when the end seemed nigh.

He ended wars, he ended greed.

For mortals he did fight and bleed.

A legend from the plane of Valor,

Around him quiet storms did gather.

No innocent soul was left forgotten,

All was healed that once was rotten.

Why Should You Go - Viper's Den

by Nataliya "Shader" Kostenko


Why should you go to Viper’s Den? 

Are you a newer player? Zimeya, AKA Snake Cult, is all about getting newer folks in on the fun, so come enjoy a quest and plotline where you can get involved and feel like a star! Are you a long-time Realms adventurer? Come impart some wisdom and help the newbies out--you’re sure to feel like a (wise, old) star too! 

The Zimeya and friends team has been working hard--day and night--to build cool props, write innovative encounters, and ensure everyone has a great time. We’re still kinda new to throwing events so you can expect a fun, modern perspective on things. Did you go to Viper Trials? We’re continuing along our plotline from there, so it’s another opportunity to get involved. If you didn’t though, no worries, we’ll catch you up. 

In the capital of Zimeya, we got roleplay, we got combat, we got comedy, we got shops of all kinds, we got a nifty portal generator, and something tells me we’re about to have some intrepid (mis)adventures. 

See you guys there on October 7th!

We're having some mobster problems in Zimeya

From the Blackwood Kitchen: Pork Pie Empanadas

 Courtesy of Ben "Sir K" Greene

There are always many things that happen in a kitchen that don’t really follow a recipe. For most of those things I could show you what I did, but trying to put it in writing is tough. The brine for the chicken is something that I just sort of made up with the ingredients on hand, the Lemon Prosciutto pizza was inspired by a recipe that we heavily modified to suit our needs. 

The one recipe that I can definitely say stayed true was the Pork Pie filling. Although I chose to put it in an empanada rather than a traditional pie because it allowed people to enjoy the meal without being tied down to their table, you can use the filling however you like and it will always be delicious. As listed the recipe makes 2 traditional 8’ pies, or about 20 empanadas.

 Blackwood Pork Pie Empanadas
 | servings: 20 | moderate | 2+ hr 

Ingredients: 
For the Filling: 
8 ounces slab Bacon (medium dice) 
2 pounds Ground Pork 
Kosher Salt and freshly ground Black Pepper 
1 cup chopped Celery 
2 cups chopped Red Onions 
2 chopped Garlic cloves 
1 pound Russet Potatoes (peeled and cut into large dice) 
1/2 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf Parsley 
1 tablespoon chopped fresh Savory 
pinch of ground Cinnamon 
pinch of ground Cloves 

20 Frozen Empanada dough rounds (2 packages) 

Directions:
1) Put a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Add the bacon and cook until crisp, about 3 minutes. 
2) Remove the bacon from the pot and set aside on a plate. Add the ground pork to the pot drippings along with some salt and pepper, and brown for about 3 minutes. 
3) Remove the pork from the pot and set aside on the plate with the bacon. 
4) Add the celery, onions and garlic and cook for 5 minutes. 
5) Deglaze the pot with 1 cup water, scraping up the bits on the bottom with a wooden spoon. 
6) Return the pork and bacon to the pot along with the potatoes, celery leaves, parsley, savory, cinnamon and cloves. Simmer for 20 minutes, or until all of the liquid has evaporated. 
7) Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Meanwhile, defrost 2 packages of empanada dough. 
8) Fill the empanadas each with about 2 tablespoons of filling, fold in half making sure that there is no air trapped inside and crimp the edges together with a fork to seal. 
9) Brush the tops with an egg yolk mixture. 
10) Bake the pies for 20 to30 minutes, until the crusts are golden brown. Let cool for at least 15 minutes before serving.

Empanadas with accompanying gravy (View Staff)

Ask the Editors

Ask the Editors

by: the View from Valehaven Editors

Volume 19

Thank you all for joining us again this week for Ask the Editors. I'm filling in for Sara this week, and my meme game is not as strong as hers, so I apologize if anyone was really looking forward to one this week.

Anyway, getting down to business: today's question is from an anonymous asker and is targeted towards the ladies in the View Editorial pool:



"If there was a 'Ladies-Only' quest going on that you're on site for, how would you feel? Curious? Annoyed? Would you go? Likewise, how would you feel about a Men-Only? Would you find an Intervention to be able to crash it? Complain? Ignore? And so forth..."




This first response comes from Sara "Zarine" Jessop:

"I think it depends on the way that the quest was presented. If there is a valid reason for a 'gender limited' quest than it wouldn't bother me, but it's hard for me to come up with very many plots where this would be anything more than a gimmick. And the excluded parties would definitely need some alternate content in place to entertain them while the other group is questing. If perhaps a 'gentlemans only' and 'ladies only' quest were to happen simultaneously or something it could be interesting. You also need to be mindful of the fact that not everyone identifies as solely 'male' or 'female' and how will you accommodate them? Overall I think it could be an interesting idea if done correctly, but it likely would cause more problems than it would be worth."

A good response and some worthwhile points, definitely something to think about and take into consideration.

Here are my thoughts on the matter:

 "If I heard that there was a "ladies only" quest going on that I was on-site for, I would definitely be curious about it. Mostly I think because I'd be wondering what kind of content or encounters would be involved that would make the quest geared specifically towards women. I feel like questing in general in the Realms is pretty inclusive all around -- most of them include plenty of opportunities for fighting, combat and support casting, puzzles and thinky problems, item or information gathering, etc. Basically, a little something for everyone. So I'm not sure if I necessarily feel the need for a women-only quest.

I'm honestly not sure if I would go or not. I'd feel torn between wanting to support women in the game while also feeling that a female-only quest would be divisive. I support the female-only mini-fight-practice sessions that the Huntress Guild throws on occasion, because I do think that as a female it is easy to be intimidated sometimes by male fighters in our game, especially if they happen to be swinging fast or hard. I feel that a small practice session in a more comfortable or less stressful environment would be helpful for many people and with the number of mixed-gender practices available, I don't think that a small gathering here or there would be divisive.

As for a men-only quest, I would be curious but again, I would be wondering what the need was for such a quest."

So there you have it, question asked and question answered. How would you answer this? What are your thoughts?

And speaking of questions, we need more! We love hearing what's on your mind and sharing our thoughts with you! If you have a burning question for the View editors, or want to respond to a question we've answered in the past, drop us a line!

Arc Sphere Distortions

Arc Sphere Distortions

by Steven "Therian" Matulewicz