Friday, February 10, 2012

The Grimloch Tribune

Local bust of known necromancer Dimitri Undeadbritches went down without incident. Warlord Jaha and three of his soldiers (Sir First Warrior Rohde, Sir Champion First Warrior CENSORED DUE TO COPYRIGHT, and Priest Syruss) breached the apartment in Thistle Grove where the perp was suspected to be staying; Dimitri claims innocence, however during the arrest Soldier Syruss found a small gold phylactery, Dimitri was quoted as saying “That’s not mine I am holding it for a fiend!”

Right now he is being charged with conspiracy to commit Necromancy, Possession of a Necromantic Item, and resisting a staking.

Members of the Order of the List are gearing up for the upcoming season's stat collecting to determine the top sixteen fighters for their end of the year Invitational. The first tourney they are tracking is Knights of the Eternal Flame Tournament '12. If you would like to have your tourney count for points  please contact Warlord Jaha, Lord Temorse, Sir Rohde, or CENSORED.

The Grimloch banana famine has started to drive the locals of POTA ape sh*t crazy. They are noted to be acting overly aggressive and hostile. Any locals living on the outskirts of the area are advised to “split” before things start really getting bananas.

For the past several weeks Sir Mestoph and Syruss have been seen gathering local ingredients and storing mass amount of various Ales. When asked to comment Mestoph had this to say: “Get that pen out of my face you idiot. You know why we are gathering these things! I guess worshiping the Dark One has left you Void of all your senses!”
Mestoph's vague answer and clear redirect of this question has this reporter asking: “ What are those two up to?"

Well that’s it for this addition; I am investigative reporter Syruss signing off saying “Stay Classy Realms.”