Friday, February 24, 2012

The Grimloch Tribune

Huntress Guild Practice Interrupted by Nocturnal Nuisances.

Kyntela from the Huntress Guild excitedly reported to Grimloch to help set up a Huntress Guild practice to help the women of Grimloch hone their skills and combat the undead plague.

Upon arriving she was flat-lined to find out not one of the women there had a pulse. It appears the female Succubi of Grimloch all wanted to know how to combat the "Grimloch Plague" wiping out the natural Undead. 

Kyntela not being racist and accepting all women to practice with the Huntress Guild was more than happy to show her "new students" what she has learned since the practices started. She did this by beating all of her pulse-less pupils into the ground....Literally.

Super Sleuths Stop Slime Monster from Sludging up the Fudge.   

Super Sleuths Jaha and Syruss once again loaded up The Conundrum Caravan to solve a mystery plaguing the people of Thistle Grove.
Two Residents (Mr. Johanson age 42 and Mrs. Johanson age NOT POLITE TO LIST) melted unexplicably late last week leaving the town in fear and with out baked goods. It was reported that the proprietors of the Flour Seasons Bakery melted away after claiming to have made a discovery on how to  make a fudge that helps loose weight, prolong life, and guaranteed to be THE BEST FUDGE EVER.

Shortly afterwards a sludge Monster started attacking the town, driving away any villagers who attempted to investigate.  After some fine detective work from Warlord Jaha he noticed the slime trail being left behind was less than supernatural and more super delicious.  The detectives followed the trail of tasty treat back to a warehouse where the local bakers kept most of their coco crop as well as other dried goods.

After an absurdly ridiculous chase scene through an oddly designed corridor of connecting doors the monster finally followed the two to their trap. Upon opening the final door which dropped dozens of poorly rigged buckets of water on the monster; the slime soon dissolved away revealing Local cook Chef Badboyishe.

He claimed he wanted the Flour Season Fudge recipe so that he could become rich and famous throughout the land. Jaha was quoted as saying, “While theft and kidnapping may seem like a fast way to make coin, there are certainly easier ways for you to make dough.”

DEAR ROHODEY a Kind and Gentle Advice Column featuring your favorite caring man himself Sir Rohde.

DEAR ROHODEY: I work in an office with more than 30 employees. Two weeks ago an envelope was sent around seeking our mandatory contributions to give gifts to the leader of the office “to show our appreciation.”
I was always taught one never “gifts up” the chain of command. I show my appreciation each day by being a good employee. Am I wrong? – BLACKMAILED

Dear BLACKMAILED:
Or should I say, Dear VUEL?
That’s right, Vuel. I’d heard it was you that was bellyaching. I hear everything, Vuel.
Plus, I could tell from the card. Everyone else jotted down some nice words like “Thanks for everything” (Rillan Kaiser), “You complete me” (XT) or “Exactly how long are you going to hold this grudge?” (Biggs). But you just signed your name, Vuel.
I bet you didn’t even chip in for the bottle of Brut 33. You sicken me.



3 comments:

  1. Its a good thing those meddling kids were there to save the fudge

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  2. The Huntress Guild is an equal opportunity practice for all women - alive, dead, undead, or otherwise!

    ReplyDelete