Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Boff Brawl - Championship Final Fight

The Winner of the first championship semi-final match was: Tao with Samurai Jack!
The Winner of the second championship semi-final match was: Saka with Korra!
The Winner of the third championship semi-final match was: Kyro with Skeletor!
The Winner fo the fourth championship semi-final match was: Kindrianna with Leonardo!

Now all of these Champions who have survived through the grueling preliminaries and semi-final rounds will face one another in the final fight to determine the Ultimate Boff Brawl Champion!

Player 1 - Saka. Character, Korra.


This will be a legit fight, so it'll take some serious preparation and strategy. Korra's gameplan consists of 6 easy steps.

Step 1: Diplomacy
Contact Kyro a few days in advance and suggest it'd be entertaining to have Korra quickly dispatch the other two fighters, then have this whole thing end with Skeletor and Korra arm-wrestling for the championship. The anti-climactic end should appeal to Kyro and Skeletor's senses of humor, and the idea of their strongest opponent opting into a situation so vulnerable to hypnosis and physical attack should be irresistible. There's a good chance Kyro and Skeletor will do something treacherous before that point anyway, but that's what Step 3 is for.
Step 1: Check.
Step 2: Preparation
In advance, discuss Skeletor's strengths and abilities, any of Korra's physical or emotional weaknesses he may attempt to exploit, and plan to take Skeletor down no matter what happens, regardless of what illusory or predatory tricks he uses to try and throw Korra off her game. We saw what he tried to pull after his last victory. No quarter.

Also, gather lots of flower pollen and bring it to the fight.

Step 2: Check

If Skeletor does anything remotely sketchy, skip to Step 5. Even if it's before the fight, or in the middle of Step 4.

Step 3: Check
Step 4: Do The Thing
When the fight starts, Korra's opponents will likely expect a sudden and devastating attack on the obviously-outclassed human and turtle who brought swords to a demi-god fight. She will happily oblige, because it doesn't matter how good you are at running, jumping, sword fighting, yelling quips, or tossing smoke bombs when all the ground around you for 100 yards is liquid beneath your feet, you plunge deep belowground with no available purchase, and those lovely, pointy swords are suddenly just as entombed in solid stone as you are when Korra returns from a low horse-stance to a focused and collected ready-stance. That was a long sentence, but we're still only a few seconds into the fight! (Note: If interrupted by a necessary jump to Step 5, mop up what's left of the swordsman and/or swordsturtle after handling Skeletor.)

Step 4: Check. Proceed to Step 5 or 6, as appropriate.

Step 5: Wreck (what's left of) Skeletor's Face
While Skeletor is powerful, he is also mortal. He barely survived having acid splashed in his face. He's been killed and reanimated. (Not that I hold that against him, who among us hasn't come back from the dead before?) He's overconfident and prone to self-destructive fits of rage when a plan doesn't go exactly his way. My favorite tidbit, however, is that while you wouldn't know it by looking at him, Skeletor has a crippling pollen allergy. Get some pollen in that hollow noggin of his and he's worse than useless. You know what's really good at keeping pollen out of your body? Silly things like nasal hair and eyelids. You know. Things Skeletor famously doesn't have.

With any luck the deal struck in advance with Kyro will give Korra the first move, but she'll be  expecting sneak attacks so it shouldn't matter much. Korra's not messing around with Skeletor - this matchup is Avatar State territory. She'll rocket into the air with firebending, then whip up a wind and use it to overwhelm Skeletor with the gathered pollen. He's got energy blasts, hypnosis, teleportation, dimension doors, and immense physical strength. The only weaponry he has that may not be metallic is the Havoc Staff. If Skeletor doesn't drop the staff himself while trying to keep from sneezing his teeth out, Korra will make the most of the skeletal sternutation and try to rip the Havoc Staff from his hands with metal bending. (Or earth bending if it turns out to not be metallic. Pretty sure that smooth purple rod is metallic though.) Once that's done, or even if she somehow isn't able to wrest the staff away, all Korra needs to do is keep her distance and maintain a barrage of boulders, ice shards, galeforce blasts of wind, maybe mix it up with a little fire. Every time Skeletor teleports it takes him a couple of seconds, and he can't fly. All of his ranged attacks are slow radial beams fired from his position, and he can't use multiple kinds of magic concurrently. Korra can easily outmaneuver and overwhelm him from the air with ranged area-of-effect attacks. Even if she gets hit with a few energy blasts, she's tanked significantly worse hits from Vaatu and come up swinging. The Avatar is notoriously resistant to external control when in the Avatar State, so hypnosis attempts are just a waste of Skeletor's time - something he'll have very little of. She. Will. Break. Him. Even beyond her competitive nature, nothing gets Korra invested in a fight like taking down some jerk who thinks he should rule the world. Skeletor's attempted antics after his last fight will just be fuel for the fire.

Step 5: Check. Loop back to Step 4 if skipped, otherwise continue to Step 6.
Step 6: Victorious Revelry
Korra is notoriously prideful after a big win. I'd say she's earned it.

Step 6: Pending vote!

Player 2 - Kyro. Character, Skeletor.
Regardless of the outcome of Operation Half-Decent Underlings, I would have Skeletor take She-ra’s Sword of Protection. Activating the sword would make Skeletor’s skin indestructible and grant him extraordinary strength.

At the beginning of the battle, Skeletor would teleport away to Eternia, steal an Eternian spaceship, and watch the battle from his crystal ball. If at any point the combatants agree to all work against him or if it was just Leonardo or Samurai Jack left, Skeletor would move to Plan I hope we didn’t host this in the Realms. If it is just Korra left, he would return to the battle field to accept an Arm Wrestle challenge.

Plan I hope we didn’t host this in the Realms:
Skeletor would fly to the closest asteroid belt and hurl the largest asteroids he can find towards the battlefield. While one would destroy all life on the planet, he would throw 3-4 to be safe. Skeletor would then return in the spaceship to claim victory.

Arm Wrestle challenge:
If Saka and Korra were to agree to the arm wrestle, Skeletor would accept. Skeletor would never pass up the opportunity to prove his strength and I would not deny him this. Skeletor would sheath She-Ra’s Sword as he doesn’t need its power to win. He would put on a spacesuit, so he wouldn’t need to worry about Korra removing the air or surrounding him with water in an attempt to suffocate him. Next he would throw on his Terror Claws as they increase his strength and add a little additional protection to his hand. Lastly he would put on a Corodite breastplate that Eternians use to increase their physical strength.

Skeletor would bring his pet dragon along with him to watch over the fight. If anyone else tries to help Korra, he would order the Dragon to put them to sleep with his Hypno-Mist breath.
As soon as the match begins, Skeletor would summon portals completely surrounding them so that Korra can’t bring any matter from outside to aid her in the fight. The only solid surface would be beneath them. If Korra was to pull any rock or metal up underneath them, Skeletor would summon a portal there as well and drop them both into space. He would close the portals and Korra would eventually succumb to suffocation.

If Korra were to use her free hand to summon fire to throw at Skeletor, he would use the Havoc Staff to redirect it at her. If she manages to bring any water into the fight, he would freeze it in place and toss it through one of the portals. If Korra continues to use her free arm for bending, Skeletor would throw his Mystic Chains at her to disable her free arm.

Skeletor’s base strength is far greater than that of any human. His armor would augment his strength even more. In the unlikely case that Korra manages to start to overpower him, he can draw the Sword of Protection and use the near unlimited strength it provides to win the arm wrestle competition.

Player 3 - Tao. Character, Samurai Jack.
The decisions you make and the actions that follow are a reflection of who you are. You cannot hide from yourself.

The sword strike evil
Rocks steel bones can’t hurt me
It’s time for firepower

A turtle, A skeleton, and a young bender walk into a bar, because they are never going to see it coming.

He can jump good, he can survive being hit by a beast the size of a mountain, repeatedly. He has fought lava monsters, robots in the thousands, and still he keeps coming. This time his strategy will be on the simpler side. Hit hard, hit fast, use the spikes on the motorcycle, use the guns, use the rocket launcher, hide, play the game.

It will be hard to overcome the power of the pack behind the turtle. He has fought many who trained together it will be done.

It will be hard to find the litch, but He is trained in jiujutsu once found It will be done.

It will be hard to get to the Bender, but he has survived more than they can do, it will be done.

Player 4 - Kindrianna. Character, Leonardo.
On the last episode of Boff Brawl, Leonardo managed to pull off a victory despite the disdain of his opponents and consistently being underestimated in each of his matches. Little did anyone know, Leonardo was, in true ninja fashion, saving the best of his abilities for last.

His opponents would have you believe that Leonardo is just a “turtle with swords.” This does him a great disservice as a character. So, let’s get this out of the way before anyone dares to tell him he doesn’t belong on the battlefield again. Some of Leonardo’s feats of strength include destroying an entire army of demons, defeating the Mystic Ninja, wielding the Gunshin sword (which is comparable to Raphael’s Banrai that could allegedly shatter mountains), holding open the jaws of a t-rex as they pushed down on him @ an estimated 12,800 pounds of pressure per square inch, (roughly 6 times more powerful than an alligator,) and turning into a freaking dragon. If that doesn’t convince you, canonically Leonardo has super speed and is shown dodging lightning bolts and laser guns which would mean he can react to things 280 times faster than sound.

Ultimately, Leonardo is a character with so much utility and skill that even Batman would approve. Using his Odachi blade, he would open a portal to get to Skeletor’s location and try to surprise/beat him up before he can run/teleport away or hypnotize anyone (or attempt those super-effective pizza tricks from the previous rounds). Skeletor may not be the strongest combatant on the field, but he is the most clever. If successful, Leonardo would next target Korra for their grudge match.

While her power is commendable, Leonardo did attain the rank of Jonin (Ninja Master) in his world. He has mastered ninjutsu that would be useful against opponents like Korra such as pressure point fighting which, as we have seen in the original Avatar series, can negate bending altogether. Even if she did manage to strip away his weapons with her bending (you’d have to ignore his super-speed stats), he would still have this formidable combat style to take her down. Leonardo has engaged in many hour-long battles with the Foot Clan before. His stamina is above and beyond normal, and he knows how to fight while injured. By Lore, the TMNT can survive being stabbed and still fight. Additionally, Jonin Leonardo has mastered the Healing Hands technique, which allows him to heal himself. He can fight unarmed, he can fight with swords, he can fight with laser guns (Korra struggled with electricity), and he can fight with his Ninjaken, which canonically, have been sharp enough to cut through metal! This is all before you consider A.) Leonardo’s ability to stay calm and make tactical decisions in the heat of battle, while Korra is known to fly off the handle, and B.) Leonardo could turn into a dragon and eat Korra.

What this fight should come down to is a bushido battle between Samurai Jack, and Leonardo, duking it out with swords the way battle was meant to be. But… Leonardo wins that too since Jack’s sword cannot hurt him and Leonardo is totally radical.

If all else fails, Leonardo turns into a Kaiju-dragon, manipulates fire, and then eats everyone. Afterward, he invites the entire Realms to a pizza party to celebrate his victory. The end.