Friday, June 19, 2020

Home Questing Task 10: Results!

by Christopher "Janus" Donnelly 

Hello, and welcome to Home Questing: the tenth task reward show.  This week, I challenged you to make the cleanest bawdy limerick you could.  We received a few really good entries (along with my own, so let’s get right into it.

From Cressida is this:

My queen has a guardsman named Mike
For whom she always did like
One day she took a tumble
On Mike she did fumble
She’d fallen right onto his “Pike”

From DelHemar is this:

Two heroes did surely get bored
As they sat in a circular ward
With loud benediction
One broke her restriction
With the gentleman's two handed sword.

From Janus is this:

There once was a klutz wearing lipstick
Who was saved by a knight called Ulric.
She asked for his sword,
Then shouted a chord
As it’s long since she felt a prick.

In addition to these, we received an extra non-judged entry from Cressida.  So for your reading pleasure,  The Word Choice Limerick:

There once was a bard from Chimeron
Her word choice she’d best think upon
She wrote a huge play
But the battle stole the day
When her lead actor shouted “Lay on”

This week, for a guest judge I thought to myself “When was the last time I had heard a bawdy limerick?” and the answer jumped out at me: being sung in a Chimeronean kitchen.  So I asked Lady Indana Ward of the Order of the Spoon to judge these perfectly clean limericks. 

Take it away Indana:

Hello lovely Lords, Ladies, and Gentlefolk. Lady Indana Here! I was quite pleased to be asked to judge this week's At Home Questing, as I quite enjoy a bit of bawdy humor, and a clever rhyme. So let’s get this ball a-rolling.

Third Place (3 points): Janus.

I’m having a hard time understanding where this limerick fell short, but it left me reviewing the meter, to make sure it matched (it does) rather than laughing. Perhaps it was the unusual rhyming of lipstick, Ullric, and prick? 

Second Place (4 points): Cressida

This limerick produced a light chuckle from me, making it a solid candidate for singing in the kitchen at future feasts.

First Place (5 points): DelHemar

This limerick produced a wicked grin on my face, truly the sign of well penned prose. And I mean, come on, “two handed!” Oh my!

Thank you Indana.  From my side of things, here is how things are coming out.

Disqualified: Janus

Once again, I am going to have to disqualify Janus.  This time just because I really disliked the limerick he wrote.

2nd place (4 points): Cressida

This was a solid limerick, and I really enjoyed it.  It was really tough putting this at 2nd.  But “She’d fallen right onto his ‘pike’”, while clean, the innuendo is very strong.

1st Place (5 points): DelHemar

This was a really good limerick, and barely eked out it’s win by being the most “believably clean.”  I still remember that time Nos broke his restriction by idly swinging a 6’6 at a tree, so this really has the two levels going for it.

 So, with the points for participation, that brings Cressida to 9 points, and DelHemar to 11 points for the week.

And here are the overall scores so far:

DelHemar - 101.5
Cressida - 72
Laika en'Naur - 20
Aeston, Areni, and Gwen - 18.5
Bart - 11
Iawen - 11
Saka - 10
Vawn - 10
Syruss - 10
Luc-Dubois Coupant - 9
Osa - 8
Kwido - 6
J'reth - 5
Nalydros - 5
Rosetta - 5
Sagart Hawkshade - 5
Tarun Ul-Sikar - 5
Thayet - 5
Orion - 4
Vanduke - 4
King Alexander Cecil - 2.5
Jace - 2
Kara Nithisdottir - 1.5
Thoril - 1.5

As a reminder, when this ends, there will be prizes that go to the top 5 contestants.  Right now, the 5th spot can be tied with a single good entry, and 3rd can be taken with 2 good entries.  So you still have a chance!