I Can't Even... stay in shape

I Can't Even …

 by Sara "Zarine" Jessop

… Stay in OOTL Shape

            Like all of you, I was shocked when I read the announcement that Order of the List would be on hiatus this year. (For the under-educated, hiatus means 'taking a break'). Many of the martial persuasion are understandably disappointed. Their usual motivation for practicing and improving themselves is temporarily (hopefully) halted. Yet this doesn't mean that you should all let yourselves go and sit around gorging yourselves on chips and skipping practice sessions while you lament about how this was 'your year' and how you would have 'won it 'all if only the tournament had happened. 

            Just because there will be no Order of the List this year doesn't mean that there are not other incentives to keep up with your skills. There are many reasons to remain in fighting shape throughout the next year. And, dear reader, when I say 'stay in shape' I mean for those who have already acquired an attractive shape. Some of you plebs still need to lose that rounded shape that you've so carefully cultivated with too much Blackwood Meatloaf . Fortunately you now have an extra year to get into fighting shape and develop the skills necessary to get into the top sixteen when the competition returns.

Knock Knock

Arc Sphere Distortions

Arc Sphere Distortions

by Steven "Therian" Matulewicz

z

Message in a Bottle

To anyone who is interested,

When Snake Cult required help when their nation’ members’ souls were taken during their festival, there was a tumbleweed(?) that contained a message in a bottle. With the help of Vesper and Lako, we were able to secure it. The message, stained in blood, read “SOS” and contained the coordinates 43.5174, -65.5717. Recently, at Feast of Creathorne, Toah and I casted a lot of seer magic at it. Here’s what was discovered:

• The sender is dead
• It is not accessible by foot
• It is North, Northeast relative to Creathorne
• It is not all the way across the ocean

It’s important to know that at this point into our investigation Toah heard a sea shanty as I was hearing shrieking. This would eventually lead to my right ear bleeding a bit

• Someone knows we are trying to find them, they are in turn trying to find us, they know that we know someone that was what they want
• (Using three precognitions at once, which should not be repeated) Toah saw an ocean during a sunset. After the sunset and bright flash appeared and he began to be covered in water. He also began to drown and what we would later learn was a siren’s voice whispered to him to and over the dark pirate/ pirate dressed in black.
• He snapped out of his precognitions actually drowning to which I proceeded to push on his abdomen until he coughed the water up. However he only seemed to stop after a bright flash from his eyes.

I asked if he was okay to use his vision after that happened, he said he was fine.

• Toah’s vision (which stopped both the Shanty and the shrieking) earned us a small chat with someone(?)
• The dark pirate is Axel, who is the key for the Siren Queen to get her husband back.
• Grebinar is the key for her Husband's insanity.
• Her husband used to be the King of the Bronze Kingdom, which is approximately where the coordinates would lead us.
• The king was cruel and when a powerful sword was constructed for him, he killed the maker(s?), Medhel an Gwyns.
• The person we were talking to had hidden this sword

There is stuff we do not know still, such as where is this sword and who we were talking to, but Toah has exhausted his seer magic and I did not wish to push further with my own magics, as a lot of the question that were left were open-ended. However, we could go off of the current information, and head north when it is warmer, as the ice in the north may prevent us from going to where we have to. If the are more questions out there, feel free to find me at a Feast/Quest/Tournament and ask.

-Kara Akiak

EHC Bingo!

Event Holder Council Bingo!

By Janna "Iawen" Oakfellow-Pushee and Alex "Lucas" Newbold

What else are you going to do? Pay attention, I don't think so.

The Event-Holder's Council by Diana "Kiira" LaPierre

It's a world of mystery, privilege, and dispute. A battleground of ideas and good intentions, with some selfishness strewn in: The Event Holders Council. The fate of the game and its players tied to this single day of debate and discussion. 

 The environment can be described as combative by some and entertaining by others. Major things happen there! In recent years, there have been massive changes that were put into effect; some even bypass the EGC altogether. 

 Will weapons construction change? Will there be no cost buy downs? Will that crucial grammar mistake be fixed, or will it be left up to the Omnibus Editorial Committee? These questions and more will be answered on Saturday. 

There are many game changing proposals this year that could affect every player in the game. I know you may not be an event holder, but there are still ways to positively impact change in the game. You can talk to your friends who are EHs and give them pros and cons of the proposals up for discussion. You can let the Player's Representative that will be going to the EHC know your feelings about the proposals. If you did not make it to the Event Goers Council, you should let your voice be heard. 

Over my decade of attending the EHC, things have vastly changed. The politics of the game are different. There are less "voting blocks", where people are coerced into voting the same as friends. Parents vote differently than their children, wives vote opposite of their husbands. But some things have not changed. The Event Holders can still be the same kind of cruel, heartless Masters of Fate that we come to realize them to be. Let us not forget the oxymoron of Heal Undead Limb and the more recent battle with Heartiness(or is it Hardiness?). 

But in all seriousness, you may find yourself scratching your head, thinking Why didn't that proposal pass?! It would have been amazing! Event Holders have a different perspective on the game. They put in time, energy, and money to create the world we play in. If there is something they voted against, there may be a logical reason, and just ask someone who attended. If you're still not okay with the results, don't blame me. I am not attending. #leavingforFlorida #happiestplaceonearth #sorrynotsorry #throwaneventnextyear

What You Missed - Feast of Creathorne 2017

 All photos by Dustin Mack

I Can't Even

I Can't Even...

 by Sara "Zarine" Jessop

… Seasonal Fashion - Winter

            While it may have been pretty warm these last couple of days, don't let the weather fool you; it's still winter. And according to my sources, namely a nefarious rodent whose shadow never seems to take a vacation, winter is going to hang around for another month or so. It's come to my attention via various photographs from this past weekends gathering in Creathorne that people have already jumped ahead into spring fashion. This will not do.

            Chartreuse has been deemed the “spring color” by the Order of the Peacock. Now, it's been a bit of a controversial decision, but the decision was made none the less. The first day of spring is March twentieth. I can't imagine why anyone would ever wear this color for any other reason than to try and impress the Order, so please refrain from wearing it until then. If you would like to know the exact date that you can then deposit all of your chartreuse clothing directly into the trash, the first day of summer is June twenty-first. (Just kidding, please donate your ugly items to those less fortunate).