The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden
LEAD STORY: Super
Sleuths Solve the mystery of the Carnivorous Carriage.
There is a rumor, a legend really spoken amongst the traders that travel and trade the lands of Grimloch. The legend is of the sentient carriage that that stalks its prey. This carriage quietly finds unsuspecting salesman (sales people sorry Karmha and Kyomi) devours their goods and attaches itself to the carriage and waits until the weary travelers least expects it, THEN BAMB eats the merchants whole.
There is a rumor, a legend really spoken amongst the traders that travel and trade the lands of Grimloch. The legend is of the sentient carriage that that stalks its prey. This carriage quietly finds unsuspecting salesman (sales people sorry Karmha and Kyomi) devours their goods and attaches itself to the carriage and waits until the weary travelers least expects it, THEN BAMB eats the merchants whole.
Leaving Merchant of all nature (food,
clothes, minerals, and weaponry) scared to travel the lands of Grimloch and
leaving Grimloch in dire need of certain supplies.
Well weird and strange mysteries just
so happen to be Jaha and Syruss’s specialty so they loaded up their conundrum
caravan with their talking dog T Main, o wait he graduated, I mean their
talking dog William and got right to work on the case.
The trail and I mean literal trail of the Carriage took them to small trading post on the Outskirts Iron Ridge, were usually traders from all over so to pedal their wares. There generally are Westies from Westwood trying to move their latest and greatest inventions, Bakers from thistle grove, farmers from all over the region, and outside traders looking to make a quick Gold Piece. But today, this place was a total ghost town.
“Beware the Carriage of DOOOOOOOM!” a scary voice said.
Quickly the Dynamic Detectives and
their Daring Dog spun around. The voice was coming from Old Man Peterson the
local fisherman. “Beware I tell you Kids BEWARE!!!”
“O don’t let Old Man Peterson Scare you kids.” Another voice chimed in. Jaha and Syruss recognized the voice of Mr. Wickles the local Overseer of the Trading Post.
“O don’t let Old Man Peterson Scare you kids.” Another voice chimed in. Jaha and Syruss recognized the voice of Mr. Wickles the local Overseer of the Trading Post.
“He is just trying to scare you.” Said
Mr. Wickles.
“Well it is luckily for us we do not
scare easily.” Said William.
“Did that DOG JUST TALK!!!!!” Wickles exclaimed.
“Did that DOG JUST TALK!!!!!” Wickles exclaimed.
The Detective got right to work looking
for clues. Jaha immediately noticed this strange mud not local to the area.
“Man, does that Old Man Peterson worry you?” asked Syruss. “ I mean why would he stay when the rest of the traders took off?”
“A very interesting point” Jaha said.
The two were busy collecting clues for the whole day when the noticed Mr. Wickles sitting in his carriage when all of a sudden he scream “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!” as the two rushed over they saw the carriage moving around and suddenly letting out a loud belch “BUUUUUUUURRRRRRP”
As the carriage slowly crept over to the Grimloch boys, William screamed “WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” everyone froze in place in a cartoon like fashion as William took out an object the look like the Magical Lute. He hit play and a catchy tune began to play and the chase gave way. The three led the carriage on a wacky chase that even led to some Magical barrels, that the three were able to jump into one barrel and jump out of different barrel. The whole chase led the Crazy Carnivorous Carriage to Syruss’s trap made famous by local Rune Silverberg, the series of ropes began to become taught and pull open a trap door and the carriage went crashing below.
From the Rubble came out……. “MR. WICKLES” the group exclaimed.
“Man, does that Old Man Peterson worry you?” asked Syruss. “ I mean why would he stay when the rest of the traders took off?”
“A very interesting point” Jaha said.
The two were busy collecting clues for the whole day when the noticed Mr. Wickles sitting in his carriage when all of a sudden he scream “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!” as the two rushed over they saw the carriage moving around and suddenly letting out a loud belch “BUUUUUUUURRRRRRP”
As the carriage slowly crept over to the Grimloch boys, William screamed “WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” everyone froze in place in a cartoon like fashion as William took out an object the look like the Magical Lute. He hit play and a catchy tune began to play and the chase gave way. The three led the carriage on a wacky chase that even led to some Magical barrels, that the three were able to jump into one barrel and jump out of different barrel. The whole chase led the Crazy Carnivorous Carriage to Syruss’s trap made famous by local Rune Silverberg, the series of ropes began to become taught and pull open a trap door and the carriage went crashing below.
From the Rubble came out……. “MR. WICKLES” the group exclaimed.
“ Yes Mr. Wickles, I first suspected
him when I saw the strange mud all over the ground the same mud was on Mr.
Wickles Boots and the Carriage.” Jaha said.
“I get it he was trying to scare away
local business people so he can have a monopoly of the trade market here, and
what better way to stock your goods than steal everyone else’s.” Syruss
exclaimed.
“Yeah and I would have gotten away with
it if it wasn’t for you kids and your pesky dog.” Mr. Wickles said.
“ This just goes to show you carriage
mystery can easily be drawn to conclusion.” Jaha jokingly punned.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” group laughed. “I
don’t get it.” William said.
A deadly taste of
Heaven recipes from Empress Katasha of Grimloch
Hey guys, back from the depths of hell a.k.a Katasha’s cooking space and have I got something great for you. Have you ever gone to A Feast of Folkestone of or a Grimloch Grill and games; or maybe you have been lucky enough to have purchased one of those fancy private dinners from our culinary connoisseur Katasha and was all like “How did she make that?” or “ Oh god if she cooks that good for all of Grimloch than why don’t I join?” (Why do you think we joined?) then you are in luck.
Because despite throwing kitchen knives and a few broken ribs, I can see why Syruss passed this off to me this time. I Theddy Quill investigative reporter managed to sneak into the Grimloch kitchen and into Katasha’s cookbook to bring you back this segment “A Deadly Taste of Heaven”
Hey guys, back from the depths of hell a.k.a Katasha’s cooking space and have I got something great for you. Have you ever gone to A Feast of Folkestone of or a Grimloch Grill and games; or maybe you have been lucky enough to have purchased one of those fancy private dinners from our culinary connoisseur Katasha and was all like “How did she make that?” or “ Oh god if she cooks that good for all of Grimloch than why don’t I join?” (Why do you think we joined?) then you are in luck.
Because despite throwing kitchen knives and a few broken ribs, I can see why Syruss passed this off to me this time. I Theddy Quill investigative reporter managed to sneak into the Grimloch kitchen and into Katasha’s cookbook to bring you back this segment “A Deadly Taste of Heaven”
This week’s recipe
Bacon Cheddar Deviled Eggs
Serves 12
Ingredients
· 12 eggs
· 1/2 cup mayonnaise
· 4 slices bacon
· 2 tablespoons finely shredded Cheddar cheese
· 1 tablespoon mustard
Directions
1.
Place eggs in a
saucepan, and cover with cold water. Bring water to a boil and immediately
remove from heat. Cover, and let eggs stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes.
Remove from hot water, and cool. To cool more quickly, rinse eggs under cold
running water.
2.
Meanwhile, place
bacon in a large, deep skillet. Cook over medium-high heat until evenly brown.
Alternatively, wrap bacon in paper towels and cook in the microwave for about 1
minute per slice. Crumble and set aside.
3.
Peel the hard-cooked
eggs, and cut in half lengthwise. Remove yolks to a small bowl. Mash egg yolks
with mayonnaise, crumbled bacon and cheese. Stir in mustard. Fill egg white
halves with the yolk mixture and refrigerate until serving.
BREAKING NEWS: Princess Kidnapped T.H.U.G.S unable to help,
calling in outside help from the heroic hammer-wielding warrior Toah.
Recently the mighty apes from POTA
Grimloch kidnapped Princess Pauline. All rescue attempts made by the T.H.U.G.S
were thwarted by bolder like barrels and odd flaming barrel monsters.
Initially Sir Rohde and Syruss were sent in to recon the situation, and they were chased away by the savage apes. The two managed to get a lock on the location from surveillance they were taking, but not without getting beat severely by the Silverback Alpha. They managed to take down a few of the lesser Apes on the way out, but the battle cause beams to fall apart creating a weird jumping layout in order to get to the top layer were Princess Pauline was being kept.
Initially Sir Rohde and Syruss were sent in to recon the situation, and they were chased away by the savage apes. The two managed to get a lock on the location from surveillance they were taking, but not without getting beat severely by the Silverback Alpha. They managed to take down a few of the lesser Apes on the way out, but the battle cause beams to fall apart creating a weird jumping layout in order to get to the top layer were Princess Pauline was being kept.
The T.H.U.G.S agents contacted a local
Monkey expert in Blackwood, and Toah was more than happy to heed the call for
aid.
With giant hammer in hand Toah leaped to action, NO he literally started leaping over barrels and making his way up this poorly secure structure.
“Hey why are there numbers appearing over his head every time he jumps a barrel?” Rohde inquired.
With giant hammer in hand Toah leaped to action, NO he literally started leaping over barrels and making his way up this poorly secure structure.
“Hey why are there numbers appearing over his head every time he jumps a barrel?” Rohde inquired.
“What I am more curious about is why
those numbers are totaling up over in the trees there to the left!!!” Syruss
exclaimed.
With a weird wampa wampa wampa sound
coming from his Massive hammer Toah reached the top of the structure.
“O.K princess you are now safe” Toah
happily said.
“What are you crazy there is still a
barrel throwing lunatic of an ape standing right there!!!!!” Princess Pauline
frantically claimed.
“
O I just assumed that he would go away when I got up here.” Toah replied.
“WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT!” Pauline
screamed.
“I just thought that’s how these things
worked. Hold on I have an Idea.” Toah said.
With that he began to swing around and
around till he was a blur of man, and with a mighty throw he hurled the hammer
at the hairy harassing Ape.
SMASH and BOOM right in the Apes face, the Mighty Silverback staggered off the ledge until he fell to the ground below knocking himself unconscious.
SMASH and BOOM right in the Apes face, the Mighty Silverback staggered off the ledge until he fell to the ground below knocking himself unconscious.
“Great job Toah.” The T.H.U.G.S agents
exclaimed.
“You looked totally awesome out there
man.” Rohde said
“Yeah well when ever I am around guys
you know its hammer time.” Toah said with big grin.
“Then you had to say that, so minus 50
cool points from this rescue.” Syruss jokingly said.
Its good to know that the T.H.U.G.S can
look to other specialist when these strange villains start monkeying around.
Well that's it for this issue I am Theddy Quill reporting the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the facts. Stay safe see you next week
