Friday, May 25, 2012

Grimloch Tribune


The Grimloch Tribune
By Callahan “Syruss” Marsden

LEAD STORY: Dog no more.

Grimloch would like to take the time to welcome its newest member to the line, William. William is in the graduating class of ‘12’ with the likes of Admiral T Main. William first burst onto our radars as a member of Airland, venturing through the lands of Grimloch during one of the Grimloch quests to rid the land of some of the undead. He had a natural talent for stomping out undead and his fighting prowess was strong, unrefined, yet strong and eager to grow.

William ran his initiate gauntlet last year at the gathering of ‘Green and Gold’ he met the challenge of the gauntlet killing but a few members of Grimloch. There was a spark shown however as he fought, this spark was telling the tail of the warrior he was destined to become.

Many members of Grimloch took the time to show the young warrior tips and tricks of the blade. William remained self-motivated wanting to become the best the land has ever seen. Over the year he was challenged physically, mentally, and emotionally. But time and time again he dusted himself off and rose to the challenge.

365 days came and went and it was time for the dog of Grimloch to face his final test. Grimloch set up their court and all the members lined up in order of both rank and entrance to the group, they awaited the challenge to come.


Photo by Casey Lemay

Warlord Jaha stood next to his equal Warlord Blade to his right was Empress Katasha.
Next in the line on the left side was Warmarch Sir Guilliam Across from him was First Warrior Sir Rohde, next down the line was Priest Syruss and across from him stood Sir Rillian. Continuing down the line on the left was Vuel and across from him was XT, then went Theddy across from Grotty 2 hotty. Last in the line today stood Admiral T Mane waiting to be the first one to take this dog out.

The dog William stood with a determined look in his eye ready to meet his elders in the truest test of combat, ready to remove the cowl of underling and dawn the mantle of peer.

Swords clashed, steel met shield, bone and flesh. As the dust settled William stood victorious over six of Grimloch’s finest.

Warlord Jaha met him at the end of the Grimloch fighting tunnel with tabard in hand, instructed William to kneel; and with the first order you receive as a member “Never let these colors hit the ground” William rose an A member, he passed the test and is reaping the rewards.

So congratulations to William OF GRIMLOCH

Who will be the next to pass the test, will it be you?


A CALL FOR AID: Akakios’s troops force local villages into hiding.

It is sad news that I, Theddy Quill, bring to you today from the undead battlefields known as Grimloch.  Akakios has been busy over the course of a year, re-capturing many liberated villages and thus undoing the good work the adventurers of the realm have put forth.

The T.H.U.G.S first took notice that Akakios’s undead force was growing in number when a routine visit to Thistle Grove almost turned into the T.H.U.G.S tomb.

Rohde, Syruss, Dell, and CENSORED were on a routine check in Thistle Grove when the hairs on the back of Dells neck began to stand on end.

Dell: Something doesn’t feel right here. Where are all the people?
Syruss: He is right there are only about half the people here that should be.
Rohde:  LOOK OUT!!!!

With out warning an old hag appeared before them hurling spells in every direction.

The Witch: Fools you should have never come here, arise my pets ARISE IN THE NAME OF AKAKIOS, PROTECT THE SLEEPING MASTERS!!!!!!

All of a sudden the ground started to shake like an old carriage racing along on a bumpy dirt road. The few citizens that were bumbling around town turn towards their hag master with eyes glowing red.  Rotten arms started to sprout from the dirt grasping at anything in their general reach.

“GRIMLOCH FORM UP!” First Warrior Sir Rohde screamed.

The four started cutting undead one by one making their way to the hag that commanded them.

The red-eyed villagers slowly staggered their way over towards the fight. Dell extended his hands and started chanting “
immortui non reditum ad vitam immortui hoc maledictionem confringam levare vos contentio” (roughly translates to; undead no more return to life undead this curse I break relieve you from your strife)
With those magic words the red eyes slowly started to turn blue, then back to their individual normal shades. The villagers started to scream and make their way back to their homes.

“Dell don’t worry about the F*@cking villagers now, we will send a cleaning crew once this area is secure get your head in the game.” CENSORED SHOUTED

As he was shouting a blast of green light exploded all around him and all could see his soul escape through his mouth ears and eyes until he fell on the ground motionless.
“CESNORED IS DOWN” Rohde screamed as he hacked through four more of the undead.

Rohde fought his way over to CENSORED, hacking through body parts like a farmer wades through wheat during a harvest.
“There is too many to take back this village now we need to retreat and get the rest of Grimloch” Sir Rohde commanded. “We need to **blergah, gurgle gurgle** Rohde’s words were cut short by an undead knife through the back of his neck and out the front of his throat.  
Magically the wound started to heal, but Rohde still lay motionless on the ground.

“The first warriors last orders where to retreat and regroup, first we need to get Rohde and CENSORED out of here!” Syruss shouted.

The two bravely fought their way to their fallen comrades. Dismembering and bludgeoning all undead in their path making sure none will rise again.

“SYRUSS I’M SLAIN.”  Dell shouted as he fell to the ground. “Syruss’s blue belt began to glow bright, as he threw Dell over his shoulder with ease. His strides seemed stronger and quicker than before, slashing undead with his free hand making his way to Rohde and CENSORED with Dell in tow.
Suddenly a load gasp for air and a scream “I’M BACK” Rohde shouted as he leaped to his feet and started fending off the dead that started to make a meal out of CENSORED.

Rohde started dragging CENSORED towards Syruss and Dell but was still a ways off.
***WOOOOOSH…SCHPLUNK**** out of now where came a trident with T.H.U.G.S carved into the side, sticking it two undead’s skulls that where quietly approaching Syruss.

“I hope you guys don’t mind I borrowed a few of these!” Said a very welcomed XT. Quickly guys get these two on the horses and let’s get out of here.” XT shouted.

XT had come in the nick of time, with horses and welcomed potions of raise dead from Yimmit’s apocathary.

XT’s quick thinking and deadly aim saved the T.H.U.G.S agents this day, and allowed Grimloch time to defend a boarder around the town.

XT was promoted to rank of T.H.U.G.S agent by Warlord Jaha for his actions on the field and his continued support against the undead blight.

BREAKING NEWS: Dr. Thaddeus of Westwood Claims he has a cure in the works for the half undead plague that has been sweeping Grimloch.

If you have travelled the lands of Grimloch and witnessed these hideously deformed creatures with half rotted faces and thought “My god how can we helps these poor bastards?” Then I have excellent news, Dr. Thaddeus claims he has been working on a cure and it is in its final testing stages.

Our very own Vuel was once infected with this blight, but during a trip to Westwood to campaign for the upcoming election of Mayor of the Westies a chemical spill infected Vuel and his undead infliction started to peel off like dead skin. Dr. Thaddeus has been tirelessly trying to recreate the accident so that others can be saved from the impending doom this virus spreads.
Late last night the doctor reports that he was able to rid the disease from one of the Undead Kobolds in Grimloch, and is now ready for human testing.

We will keep you posted with any breaking news regarding the potential cure.

Grim Gear gearing up for upcoming Tournaments of Creathorne  

Grim Gear owner and entrepreneur Sir Guilliam Warmarch of Grimloch has been putting his nose to the grind to shell out some excellent weapons and wares.

He will be setting up in Creathorne this weekend and he will have a plethora of weapons and armor to sell to combatants who finds them self short a single short.

He will have standard armor and weapons but will be able to take custom orders if the shop isn’t carrying exactly what you are look for. With Guilliam’s motto of “if we don’t have we can make it” you are guaranteed to leave a satisfied customer.

So if you haven’t had the chance to see the fine products that this store produces then do yourself a favor and head to Tournaments of Creathorne this weekend and bring all of your gold to us.   


Well that's it for this issue I am Theddy Quill reporting the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the facts. Stay safe see you next week

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